Help- mu 2 month old won't sleep :(

[JackieBrown63]

He's always slept so well and drifted off by himself multiple times during the day. This week, almost overnight he refuses to sleep at all and he's getting himself so worked up. We've tried ignoring him, giving him a dummy, rocking him to sleep, feeding him, baths, lullabies, massage, babywearing for long walks - at most he will drift off for half-hour- one hour but will wake himself up and start grimacing. Most of the time he just grimaces until it builds up to a full-blown cry. I don't think he's colic because he's had that before and that was different he was straining but he never cried. He's always been such a chilled baby - we are pulling our hair out right now :(

How long has it been like this? Babies go through all sorts of phases so it sounds like you've tried lots to help him, I would continue trying and it will probably pass.

Is this just naps OP or night sleep or both? One hour naps.at 8 weeks is pretty god I would say! My 4 month old still regularly only does 30 min ones
8 weeks they're starting to wake up more and become aware of.world around them more too. They might be getting overtired and overstimulated. How long are they awake before you try them for a nap?

How are you feeding him? Could be colic. Could be an intolerance like dairy- if it continues, see your Gp about this.

look up ‘tiger in the tree’ hold- this can be comforting for tummy pain/discomfort.
Could he be hungry?

I think it’s always trial and error with babies and it’s rarely plain sailing without challenges along the way, so this is a totally normal part of the experience- although no doubt totally exhausting.

Don’t ‘ignore him’ though- this won’t be the answer.

Cloth slings that hold the baby tight to your body can be incredibly helpful to comfort babies and give you some peace!

Well, when I say ignore him I meant just leaving him alone to fall asleep when he's sleepy but in a good mood.

I feed on demand and offer him a boob when he wants it and he usually falls asleep on the boob. As soon as I try to burp or move him he wakes up cranky.

It's both day and night and he used to sleep plenty during both. He's certainly started noticing the world now so that could be a factor.

He fusses when he's in the sling as well it takes about an hour to get him to go to sleep and he wakes pretty easily.

I don't like to keep him awake longer than 2 hours but he's awake all day at the minute. I'll be lucky if he gets 20 minutes. He used to sleep every 2 hours or so.

Mine did this at that age; he got over it just in time for his 4 month regression. I did the "wrong" thing and fed him to sleep, then VERY gently put him on the mat/bed to finish the nap. He'd go about 20 min before waking up again.

It's okay to feed to sleep right now, but if you keep doing it between 4-6 months it will come a habit that is difficult to break.

You seem to be trying everything you possibly can - is this maybe overstimulating him and preventing him falling asleep because exciting stuff is happening? Pick one sleep environment and stick with this consistently eg dark room and white noise. Make sure to put him down at least 15min before you want him to be asleep

2 hours is a long wake time for an 8week old I would say, although they're all different.
My 4 month old- nearly 4.5mo- is only just managing 2hr wake times in last few days.
Try offering baby a nap at 1h15 and see what happens. If they take ages to fall asleep but are happy then they need a longer wake time. If they take ages and are grizzly then they're overtired and need a shorter wake time. It is so hard to get the napping stuff right. I feel like with my lo it's like the wind needs to be blowing in right direction, it's a waning moon and I've got their wake window just right for me to stand a chance of a good nap from them! We do a lot of car naps tbh. And often a rescue nap at end of day where I will feed, rock, then hold to sleep for as long as I can. I find fox and the moon sleep on insta good for realistic info about baby sleep. Also if you need to feed to sleep or shush pat them to sleep then just do what you need to do cos good day sleep really improves chances of good night sleep and they won't be feeding to sleep forever. Especially once they start weaning!

Sounds like he's overtired - 2 hours between naps is about twice as long as it should be for a baby his age.

Thanks guys. He sounds like hes over tired because hes only slept for 20 minutes all day today and wakes up after half hour to an hour at night. Hes never been a big sleeper but this is ridiculous. I put him in his day bed for naps like usual but instead of sleeping he grimaces until he cries and I dont believe in the CIO method. We will try and do less with our day and keep stimulation to a minimum and see if that makes a difference. 🙏if anyone has any advice on how to break this cycle that would be amazing.

It's very unrealistic to expect a baby this age to just fall asleep without any work from you, tbh. It happens occasionally with newborns, but once they wake up a bit it generally takes a lot of input to get a baby to sleep.

You say he falls asleep on the breast? Then your best bet is to feed him to sleep and then when he unlatches just keep holding him throughout the nap, relatch if he stirs. That's what I do, works a charm. You could also try feeding in the sling if you need to be up and about.

At some point in the first couple of months, they all ‘wake up’ and their natural state switches from asleep to awake. When is the unknown. My DS woke up at about 2 weeks old. A friends twins were still always asleep at 11 weeks. They all get there though. It’s at this point you have to start putting in effort for naps, to varying degrees, depending on the baby.

As a PP has said, only a tiny amount of babies can do being put down ‘awake but drowsy’ at 8 weeks. Most needs naps facilitating. I used to walk miles wearing him in the sling or I would feed DS to sleep in a dim room with white noise and just sit and hold him (while binge watching Line of Duty). You are not making a rod for your own back or anything like that - you just need to get them to sleep any way possible at this age, otherwise they will be an overtired screaming mess and the problem will just perpetuate. Post the 4-6 month sleep sh*t show, you can do some sleep training, if you so wish. We did stay and support at about 9 months and it worked really well.

I put him in his day bed for naps like usual but instead of sleeping he grimaces until he cries and I dont believe in the CIO method.

CIO wouldn't work for a baby as young as yours whether you believe in it or not. At 8 weeks I was doing mostly contact naps, feeding him to sleep and then watching a whole lot of TV while he slept on me. Around 4.5-5 months old he started doing long naps in his crib. You might just need to hold him while he sleeps if he wakes when you put him down and try shorter wake windows. He will hopefully sleep better at night for you once he is getting decent daytime sleep.

shivawn thank-you this is what I wanted to do. He can sleep on me for hours especially after feeding. This may sound silly but its comforting to know I can do this for him. Hes asleep on my chest as I type this lol. Ive been told by so many people not to let him sleep on me. Ill keep this up from now on until he gets a little older.

I was told the exact same when my little one was a similar age. I wish I had just ignored everyone and enjoyed cuddling my baby. They are tiny for such a short amount of time.

Absolutely ignore those saying you shouldn't feed your 8 week old to sleep or contact nap with them. They are so tiny and they won't be like this for much longer. As a PP said- get them to sleep however you can. Just go with what works for you and them at the moment. They are way too young for any kind of CIO or sleep training. You can build good sleep associations at this age like darker room and white noise machine etc. For naps if you want.

JackieBrown63 Set yourself up in a comfy spot with plenty snacks and a good box set and enjoy the cuddles! I miss those days now x

My 9 week old is having a similar phase...had his jabs this week too so I'm putting a lot of it down to that, also have my older DS up as he has a cough so no sleep here
As PP have said- definitely cuddle and snuggle as much as possible, this part doesn't last long! I'm strongly against CIO for such young babies too. These first few months are so unpredictable and routines are often short lived (especially with a breast fed baby)
Hang in there OP, enjoy the cuddles and don't put pressure on yourself to do anything except feed and cuddle the baby- try to sleep when they do too, all the other things can wait! It will pass and you will sleep again!

Wanting to respond as going through the same thing and need advice. DC turned 2 months this week and whilst he sleeps well at night, naps terribly in the day. Is this normal?!

He needs a lot of support to nap (feeding, rocking, walk in the carrier) but nothing is guaranteed and my MH is waning as I can see his wake window increasing way beyond what it should be, and he gets more and more irate. Currently all naps are contact naps, either on the sofa, in bed or in the carrier. I have had some success in extending naps in the crib (putting him down when he's already been asleep for +45 mins) but this again is not guaranteed.

Out of interest... do any older MNetters have any context on guidance for naps/sleep before the internet/social media? There's a lot more info available these days around sleep cycles, wake windows, which I presume wasn't readily available a few decades ago. I ask because older relatives often comment (positively) on how 'alert' and 'awake' DC is whilst I crumble inside knowing he's been awake for 3 hours despite my best efforts to get him to sleep. When I respond that he's overtired/needs to sleep I'm met with some bemusement.

Calphurnia88 - ive also been met with similar bemusement. Older generations seem to want to keep him awake / entertain him until he passes out or starts crying in their arms. I got quite upset with my MiL when id FINALLY got my baby to sleep she came over cooing at him and waved flashing lights in his face to wake him up! He started crying and she said "all babies cry". Id cry too if I was woken up like that! The baby boomer generation were taught the cry it out method and parental styles were based around mums convenience rather than what is best for baby.

Thankfully I haven't had too much of that (waking the baby) as I've made it very clear that once he's asleep, he's asleep. It's more the lack of understanding that he needs sleep in the day, and just because he is awake doesn't mean he wants to be awake!

DC slept from around 3:30pm yesterday until 4:30am this morning, with a few breaks for feeds. Whilst this might sound wonderful, I think the poor little man was so tired from lack of sleep he just crashed (he hadn't slept since 10am, despite best efforts).

Today is a new day, I am going to loosely attempt naps over morning/lunch/afternoon. Expect there will be a lot of rocking and at least one trip out in the carrier!