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Parenting

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dd hits herself

2 replies

redpyjamas · 11/01/2008 22:59

My dd (age 5) sometimes hits herself. Should I be worried about it? It seems to happen when she has made a mistake, or accidentally broken something. There seems to be no connection with my reaction to whatever the thing is. She hits herself, and calls herself names. NO IDEA where she gets the idea from. I know that I do sometimes raise my voice at my children, but I don't punish for accidents and if I shout unnecessarily (like when I'm hormonal, and get stressed at silly little things), I do apologise to them. My older dd has never done this.
Do you think she just does it to get a reaction? She certainly is the sort that enjoys causing a stir.
Or is there possibly some deep-rooted trouble that I might regret not addressing? Do self-harmers start as small children?
She really seems to be so upset and hate herself when she gets herself into such a state.
Most if the time, she appears to have fine self-esteem, and is a very loving caring children.
But she has extremes of behaviour. Today, when she was cross at something I had insisted on, she yelled "did I ask to be born?"
Tbh, I find her very difficult to understand, probaby made worse by the fact that the older dd is so like me.
By the way, I am sure that they both know they are equally loved.
Thanks for your wisdom.
Hope to get a reply or two tonight, even tho it is late.

OP posts:
critterjitter · 11/01/2008 23:03

Does she go to school? Has this started since she started school? If so, she may be copying another child.

S1ur · 11/01/2008 23:05

Don't worry overly. I think this is pretty common, head-banging, hitting self etc. The self name calling does sound sad ,

don't blame yourself though, but it is good to think of how to make her feel confident about herself so that she doesn't mind so much if things go wrong.

I wouldn't focus on 'self-harming' aspect so much as perhaps considering triggers and think of other outlets for frustration and building esteem?

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