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Colic/reflux? Feeling isolated

28 replies

AbDaRob · 17/05/2022 18:30

My DS was born 7 weeks premature.. he is currently 7 weeks. (Due date was 3 days ago).

Gradually as the weeks go by I’ve found things harder with him. For example he always used to be a great feeder. He’d feed, burp, go straight back down.

but the last 3 weeks I’ve found it harder and harder. He seems very uncomfortable a lot of the time. Going red, grunting, bringing knees up to his stomach. He screams when on his back & screams throughout a feed.

i spoke to the GP who has given us infant gaviscon for reflux but it doesn’t seem to help. Im not even sure it’s reflux, he seems to have symptoms of both reflux and colic. He’s using infacol & gaviscon… but haven’t seen too much of a change.

I’ve booked in to see an osteopath this week, but know this doesn’t help everyone.

he’s feeding 2 hourly, after his feed he normally cries for about 1 hour. Sleeps for 1 hour, then back to feeding.

im finding it hard because I want to go out with him. Go to restaurants with friends & my son, but I can’t do that because if he were to need a feed he screams and screams. I have no problems feeding him in public but don’t feel quite comfortable if he were to scream in pain for that long.

I tried to go for walks, however he hates being lied flat so hates the pram and just cried for an hour.

when I try to talk to my partner about how isolating it can be to not really be able to leave the house, except for a brief visit to the shop. He just says lots of people experience it, and it’ll pass and things will get a lot harder than this. I don’t think he fully understands. I try to tell him, that having to hold a distressed baby is no fun.

But I’m finding it hard, I want to go out. I feel like I’d be so much better mentally if I could just take my son out for the day without him screaming in agony.

When I spoke to the HV about this, she just told me it’s something that will pass by about 6 months and to ride it out. I don’t think I could cope with this isolation for 6 months.

I hate that my son is uncomfortable, I hate that we can’t really go anywhere. I’m frustrated by the lack of support from the HV.

The sun is shining, I’m wanting to go out with him, but hes uncomfortable and crying. It doesn’t seem fair.

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HairyFeline · 17/05/2022 18:41

Poor babe, OP; and poor you! I would recommend getting colief drops and trying that every feed. My DD was like a different baby within two days. If it works, you can get it on prescription. You can get it from supermarkets and chemists.

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AliceW89 · 17/05/2022 18:52

Oh lovely. I went through this almost exactly 2 years ago. Having an unsettled newborn really is awful and incredibly isolating. Nobody will understand unless they have been through it. I remember DMIL just not believing that DS would be able to scream like he was being murdered for an hour solid if put in his pram, until she tried it for herself!

I think DS was a bit refluxy, but to be honest, I think most of it was good old fashioned colic. He was permanently overstimulated and overtired and getting him to switch off and nap was near impossible. He used to demand a breastfeed but then scream at the boob, because it was clear he didn’t actually know what he wanted. The only thing that helped a bit was wearing him in a stretchy sling - do you have one of these?

By 12 weeks he was more settled and I could take him out and by 5 or 6 months I was always trying to find things to take him too because he loved being out and about. He was in more of a routine and life felt so much better. You will get there - it’ll feel miles off at the moment but I promise you you will.

You should however look to rule out things like reflux or allergies. Is he BF or FF? Either way, it might be worth trying either hypoallergenic milk or eliminating dairy from your diet for 14 days to see if it makes a different. Likewise, there are other medications (omeprazole, for example) available for reflux.

Goof luck Flowers

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AliceW89 · 17/05/2022 18:54

Also, DS is only 2 but literally nothing has come remotely close to being as hard as the newborn period. He’s quite poorly at the moment and teething and just generally fed up with the world. He’s on a short fuse and crying at the drop of a hat - it’s still a million times easier than when he was a newborn!

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SummerHouse · 17/05/2022 19:03

In my experience, it actually doesn't get harder than this. It gets easier and easier from one to 12 (that's as far as I have got).

This is hands down, the toughest, most isolating, most soul destroying time. To me it sounds possible it is both reflux and colic. But definitely reflux. Nobody understands how hard it is including DPs.

Sorry you are going through this. Do go out. I know it's hard.

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SummerHouse · 17/05/2022 19:07

Do you have a baby carrier. He might prefer that being upright?

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threesenoughthanks · 17/05/2022 19:10

My eldest had this 20 years ago and I can still vividly remember how frustrating and upsetting it was. She had both reflux and colic. I was given Infacol for the colic and gaviscon for the reflux. Unfortunately, the gaviscon is supposed to settle the milk down and the infacol is supposed to burst the bubbles to bring the gas up......the two cancel each other out. I was told to just use the gaviscon as keeping her milk down was more important and the colic would pass. It's hard. It's exhausting. I totally sympathise.

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Bimbil19 · 17/05/2022 19:58

Poor you, OP, it sounds really tough. I second those suggesting you try a sling (apologies if you have already). My DS2 is 9 weeks old and refluxy and hates lying on his back. He will also scream blue murder in the pram - the opposite of DS1 who would sleep in it for hours🙄but he will sleep contentedly throughout the day in the sling so might be worth a try for you. Good luck xx

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AbDaRob · 17/05/2022 20:47

@HairyFeline thanks so much for the colief recommendation. I have just been to sainsburys to try it with his next feed.

@AliceW89 he is formula fed. He’s currently on prescribed premature medication so doc hasn’t recommended changing it. Glad to hear it goes get better. Will Deff look into a sling!

thank you everyone for being so kind. I feel selfish saying I just want to get out, I know I should appreciate my time with him no matter where we are!

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ForAFriend123 · 17/05/2022 21:00

Have you considered he might have a cows milk protein intolerance?
We went through all manner of coleif/thickeners/formulas - nothing soothed DS's screaming or wind/diarrhoea until we paid privately to see a gastro entomology consultant.

Within 30 mins DS was diagnosed with CMPI, prescribed Neocate and we never looked back.

Still Cross that it took 4 months to get there

  • GP and HV were useless.
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Figmentofimagination · 17/05/2022 22:25

It could Cows Milk Protein Allergy/Intolerance. My DS was how you described. It took till his 1st birthday for him to be diagnosed by a Paediatrician. No one would take me seriously and kept saying it was just reflux and it would get better around 6 months when he started eating food which is heavier than formula (it didn't). He went through so many outfit changes because he was constantly sick and lived with a muslin wrapped round his neck to catch some of the sick. He was worse in the night, grunting and legs pulling up and hated being led flat.

We found sitting/lying at an angle helped a bit as it stopped the pain of the reflux. He spent a lot of time in his bouncer or propped up in our arms and when he was in his bed we raised it at an angle.

He did mostly grow out of his CMPA and is now 5, but sometimes he can have a flare up if he has too much dairy in a day (hiccups, reflux pain, sickness). Unfortunately the constant reflux has also made his throat/stomach very sensitive so he can make himself sick if he gets too worked up over something or if we try and give calpol on an empty stomach when he's crying.

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Figmentofimagination · 17/05/2022 22:27

Also, I found omeprazole works better than gaviscon, as gaviscon makes my DS constipated.
Other medication people have recommended is Ranitidine.

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genetictesting · 17/05/2022 22:32

Agree with all others

Investigate cmpa as a cause of the reflux or tongue tie as a cause of the reflux

Not being able to be laid flat, uncomfortable feeding etc all reflux signs

Infacol is known to irritate reflux. Dentinox drops worked much better for us and lots of other parents on the cmpa fb group

There's also a product called colic calm you can fry - they are stocked in some pharmacies. Can check on their website

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StephMum92 · 17/05/2022 22:35

How is he in a car seat? My DD went through a stage of hating being laid down so if I was only going for a quick walk to try and settle her I'll put her in the car seat on the pram. Might be worth a try even if it just gets you out of the house for 10/15 minutes you'll feel a million times better x

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AbDaRob · 18/05/2022 15:38

Update. - I had a horrible night with DS, he was quite uncomfortable. Went to the GP who has referred to a paediatrician… so now just a waiting game. She advised continuing on with gaviscon.

I have been giving gaviscon mixed with water in a syringe before feeds rather than in the milk, as it thickens the milk so much he can’t get it out the bottle (have tried different teats)

I have started colief, and the first 3 bottles he had 3 massive poo’s, so hoping that may relieve him! Thank you @HairyFeline for the rec!

I have an appointment tomorrow with cranial osteopath so hoping for some relief at least for him.

GP said there is such a fine line between colic and reflux. I’m just going to try anything and everything. Just want a happy boy!

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Bluepolkadots42 · 18/05/2022 15:44

Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time OP. Your son is so lucky to have a mum that cares so much and wants to try and do everything she can to make him happy and comfortable.
I definitely recommend a sling or baby carrier. Stretchy wrap slng I found great for first 12 weeks but then took its toll on my back- both mine were quite chunks. You may want to see if you can get an ergo baby carrier. Its more structured but really easy to use. I'm using one borrowed from a friend for my 4 month old atm and he loves it. Means we can get out for walks or round shops if he's having a fussy day. He often sleeps in it too which is a bonus! Babies generally just love being as close to mum as possible, it can help them feel calm and safe when overtired and overstimulated.

Sounds like colief drops could be helping already which is great!
Hope osteopath goes well too.

You've probably already done this but tilting the head end of their cot can sometimes help if they're refluxy and Google wonky winding for tips on how best to get any air up that they've taken in during a feed.

Keep going- you're doing amazingly.

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Tiredbutworthit · 18/05/2022 15:56

Oh love I get you it is difficult. I went through the same with my DD 4.5m. We thought colic/reflux, tried coleof, infacol, gaviscon, milk thickener and battled with the GPS. She's diagnosed with Cows milk protein allergy now after seeing 4 GPS (the last is specialised in paediatrics) and we are on puramino milk. She is a different baby compared to the early days. Only screams when she's tired because she hates naps.

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lucea87 · 18/05/2022 16:02

Hey OP!

Similar situation to my daughter, she was 4 weeks early. She has CMPA and reflux. She was on gaviscon and infacol initially but as sacked off infacol quickly as it 100% makes reflux worse - I've heard the same from an h others too. We switched to omeprazole also and it made a huge difference. She was ebf but we switched to CMPA formula at 8 weeks, initially nutramigen but that wasn't ok for her so we switched to SMA alfamino after another few weeks. With the combination of alfamino and gavsicon she was like a different baby!!

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lucea87 · 18/05/2022 16:04

Also as other have said about being laid flat - you can get a wedge from Wedgehog. We have one we use for changing and under her playmat and we used to have her crib on slight incline too but she seems to be improving (she's 6.5 months now)

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HairyFeline · 18/05/2022 23:31

Fingers crossed for you, OP, regarding everything. I used the Colief every time she had milk as a drink. Once she was fully weaned, around a year, I dropped it down gradually. A retired midwife told me it’s to do with newborns getting their lactase from your system while you’re pregnant but it tapers off after birth, usually hitting a low around 10 days old. That’s why the lactase in colief can help (in this particular circumstance).

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AbDaRob · 30/05/2022 10:48

Update. HV came round & said she would bet her job on the fact it’s CMPA.
Have moved to nutramigen on Saturday. Not sure how much of a difference I see? but only been 2 days… My DP says he can see a difference, but think I’m just a bit pessimistic. However I wonder if after a few more days it will get better once it has time to fully be in his system!

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lucea87 · 30/05/2022 10:52

My daughter went on Nutramigen originally but she was too sensitive for that so she is now on SMA Alfamino and we've had no issues since we've been on that. Good luck x

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WhatNowwwww · 30/05/2022 11:09

I hope it helps him OP. I would definitely give it a week before you try to work out if it’s helping and give it at least a month before you think about changing milk again. It takes a while for it to get out of their system and for them to get used to the new milk. We thickened it with Carobel for our DD as she was still getting some reflux although better with the Nutramigen. She also needed Omeprazole but it was hypoallergenic formula that definitely made the biggest difference.

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ForAFriend123 · 30/05/2022 12:41

Great news that your HV seems to be well informed!
My DS was initially put ion Nutramigen but only slight improvement so was moved onto Neocate.

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Pizzaandsushi · 30/05/2022 14:44

I also agree with the comments about it potentially being CMPA. My baby is now 12 weeks old and I can honestly say I was living in hell up until a week ago.
He’s formula fed and had awful reflux right from the beginning. He was put on gaviscon at 10 days old! Then omeprazole and nothing helped. He would cry and scream (I mean really scream - I had one paediatrician wince at how loud he was). He never slept comfortably, was extremely difficult to wind and I came very close to having a breakdown. After pushing and pushing, I finally had one GP listen to me and we started Nutramigen which helped initially and we’re now 2 weeks into a completely synthetic formula puramino and the difference already is amazing. We’re already off the gaviscon (now use carobel to thicken as these formulas are very thin) weaning him off omeprazole and he barely has any milk come back up. I also REALLY recommend NUK bottles with the latex teats. A bit different to silicone but a total game changer feeding wise. Way less wind and feeding time is no longer the stress it was. I still have a lot of anxiety but I know with time that will improve as he gets better, so yeah I’d keep an allergy in mind and see if you can push to try a hypoallergenic formula.

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Pizzaandsushi · 30/05/2022 14:55

Also to say I completely understand the isolation. My partner had to go back to work after one week paternity leave and it was extremely difficult. I barely left the house except to go on walks round the park. Never went to groups because I knew my baby would just scream. I went to one baby massage class and cried on my way home after holding back tears the whole class because all the other mums had babies that were happily lying there, cooing away, whilst mine was finally asleep and I was praying wouldn’t wake up until I left because I knew he would scream. I barely remembered to brush my teeth, let alone do anything nice for myself. Well today for the first time I felt comfortable enough to go and have brunch all by myself whilst DP looked after the baby and it was heaven. Then back home to a much happier/ relaxed baby who I can now see myself taking to baby groups and meeting new people. So you will get there and things will improve. X

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