We're at the "Oh I'm so Independent Stage"

[Heyduggee123]

3 year old Twins. I swear to god if I hear the phrase "me do it" one more time I'm going to pull my hair out. Only one of them, should thank my lucky stars it's not both of them. Surely I must have the most independent, stubborn, willful child ever!

She has to get dressed by herself (not a bad thing I know) but when I've told her 1000 times that her trousers are on back to front and her t-shirt is not her shorts she continues to try and put her top on as trousers. Same with brushing her teeth, putting her shoes on, this morning it was putting sun cream on for nursery. If I try to help, even a tiny bit it's literally the end of the world. Every little thing is a battle for independence. If I insist on doing something instead (for safety, such as cutting her fingernails) she has a massive meltdown and then things take even longer to sort whilst she calms down. Honestly it's exhausting.

Her twin sister is the total opposite. Will quite happily dress herself but is totally ok with me helping her to do things.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who has a tiny terrorist at home?

You are not alone! My 2 year old likes to do everything herself, if after changing her nappy I forget and pull her trousers up rather than letting her do it she gets so upset. We’ve been out with clothes inside out because she’s so proud of herself and I can’t tell her it’s actually the wrong way round. The struggle of watching them figure out that there is a hole for each leg is real 😂

I’m here at the moment with my nearly 4 year old!

However, I have a nearly 6 year old who was not like this and I can tell you that greater independence is better in the long run. My 6 year old would ideally still like me to wipe her bum for her.

You’ll already be doing this but give her lots of safe opportunities for control and independence. Laying the table, making a cake…that sort of thing.

Also, my trick is to let them do it, and then say ‘well done! I’m just going to finish it off for you!’ And the swoop in to rub the blobs of suncream all over their face, fix the trousers on the wrong leg etc.

solidarity!

Glad it's not just me. We absolutely give lots of praise for doing stuff themselves, which is partly what has lead her to be so independent I think. When she does get herself dressed she stands up, throws her arms in the air and says "I'm a superstar" and gives us a high five 😂it's adorable really

yes @Rainallnight definitely better in the long run, I can see my other girl being like that at aged 6, shouting me into the toilet to wipe her bottom

My DD had just turned 19months and has to get her own water (or refuses to drink), has never let me spoon feed her, takes her own nappy and clothes off abs puts them in the washing basket or bin, tries to put them on (usually with some success), puts her own shoes on (so she is stuck in Velcro or wellies), carries her own bag to the car and more.

everything takes double (if not more) time to do, but she’s so happy she’s done it herself or At least tried in some instances and says “I help”. It’s so sweet to see and she gets praise, but it can sometimes be frustrating and exhausting especially when I’m running late. Sounds like I’ve got years of this to come.