18m old back to only sleeping when held!

[Goosey3]

Please tell me this is normal and a short-lived phase?! 😓
Until DS was about 14 months he constantly woke in the night asking to be held. He would be wide awake and upset the minute you put him into his cot then be sound asleep on you the minute you picked him up. The last 4 or so months have been much better - with him evens sleeping straight through the night a few times. Or sometimes needing resettled a couple of times in the night with a wee 10 minute cuddle then back into his cot.

The last 2/3 weeks however we’re suddenly worse than ever 😓 he’ll go down at 7.30pm or there abouts, sleep through until 12/12.30am then he wakes up shouting me. I pick him up and he’s asleep within seconds but regardless of whether I hold him for 1 min or 20 mins then try and out him back down he’s wide awake and upset again as soon as he’s in his cot. So we end up spending the majority of the night sat in the armchair in his bedroom.

I’ve tried not picking him up at all and just lying him back down, rubbing his tummy/patting/shhhh/lying next to his cot holding his hand but he just gets upset.
Occasionally he’ll stay asleep when I put him down. This usually lasts anywhere from 10-45 minutes then hes back awake shouting on me again.

The other night he woke at 00.20am. Between then and 6.30am when I had to get ready for work, I spend a grand total of 30 minutes in my own bed. I then had to go and work all day 😓
Last night I spent about 4 hours in the chair on and off during the night and that was a “good” night.
Tonight he woke at 11.45pm. I’ve manages about 20 minutes in my own bed since then.

He naps usually around 12.15/12.30pm till 1.30/2pm at the very latest. Usually about 1h 20mins. So I don’t think it’s that he’s not tired enough to sleep through at bedtime.

Could it just be another period of separation anxiety? I adore his cuddles and would do absolutely anything he needs for comfort but I’m just about on my knees with tiredness 😓

Just to add - I’ve tried multiple times to take him to my bed and co-sleep but he just thinks it’s playtime or gets really upset and won’t settle at all so that’s not an option. And I’m completely against any form of CIO so that’s not an option for me.

We've recently had this with my 19m old, apart from he's been like it since birth 😅 definitely intensified around 18m though. We've been doing gradual retreat (since January, it's been very gradual....) and now we're at the point where he'll sleep in his own bed with one or two wakes and then we one of us will get into bed with him around 5am to stop him waking for the day then, we do whatever it takes to get him til at least 6!

We've recently had this with my 19m old, apart from he's been like it since birth 😅 definitely intensified around 18m though. We've been doing gradual retreat (since January, it's been very gradual....) and now we're at the point where he'll sleep in his own bed with one or two wakes and then we one of us will get into bed with him around 5am to stop him waking for the day then, we do whatever it takes to get him til at least 6!

Gosh I feel your pain! If it is any consolation you are not alone and my 18 month old has multiple wake ups. It haa got worse for us over the past month. On a bad night I've been awake with him since 2.30am and then have had to get ready at 5.30am for work (teacher long days). Although our issue is he wakes up saying 'out Mummy' and he wants to he put on the air bed we have in his room (he won't be cuddled). He will fall asleep quite quickly but we when we transfer him to his cot he wakes up and the whole process starts again. Often I will sleep on the floor as I am just so tired. He takes up the whole air bed! He also is awake before 5am for the day so is in a complete cycle of overtiredness I think. So we are not doing great with 18 month old sleep either. I am very jealous of people whos toddlers sleep through. My DS has slept through two nights in a row and that has been our best statistic! Wr are lucky if we get 1 sleep througj every 2 weeks. My only saving grace is that me and DH try take it in turns and do one night each which helps. Have you got support? My DS won't sleep in our bed either. Have you got an airbed to cuddle him on so at least you can maybe lie down?
Although for the past 2 nights we've only had one wake up and a 6am start which feels amazing. I would say it is a phase so maybe just hang in there! But no real advice as I feel like I'm in the same boat as you. Also will not do CIO method.

You said you can't co sleep/he thinks it's playtime if you go into your bed

Could you move him to a floor bed and then sleep in there with him?

I know it's not ideal and you would not sleep as well in with him but it's better than the alternative which is no sleep at all

I took the sides off DDs cotbed at this age to make it a toddler bed rather than a cot for this reason. In her case it was the lowering her down into the cot that caused her to wake up. When it was a bed I could sit next to it, and just roll her back in when she'd fallen asleep.

@HenrysHome I’m absolutely with you on doing whatever it takes to get him until at least 6 😅

@DisneyGirl2329 @sunshine298 My DH is amazing and definitely does his fair share when he’s here but he works away from home for 4 weeks at a time. So for 4 weeks he’s here and off work the whole time which is amazing but the downside is that he’s then away for 4 weeks and I’m here trying to juggle DS and work etc myself. He’s only been away for a week so far so we still have a fair stretch to go before he’s able to come back and let me get some sleep.
We’ve tried a mattress on his floor but, like with our bed, he finds this hilarious and thinks it’s playtime 😬

@linerforlife I have contemplated turning it into a toddler bed but I just don’t think he’s anywhere near ready for that at all. I’m keeping that as a very last resort!

Im sorry you’re all going through it/have been through it too! It’s definitely nice to know that it’s not just me though 😬

We have this with putting our 20 month down. Falls asleep fine in my arms but sometimes wakes ands gets mega cross when put in cot.

Our solution is dad going in (but if not breastfed it could probably be you) lulabies on, same ones each time so it triggers. And just staying in the room quietly and gently talking to her, telling her it's sleeping time. Not changing tone of voice. 'Lie down, holly, it's sleepy time' (not real name). First few nights were bad and we didn't think it would work at all but it did. I don't know if you'd class that as crying it out but we never left the room so she is never alone crying. We rarely have to do it now but I believe if we hadnt started it, I'd still be sitting in a rocking chair with her on me all night in her room. Good luck!