AIBU clothes shopping with a toddler

[Annfr]

I am genuinely trying to find out if I was a complete idiot of the member of staff in H&M was overreacting so i know for future...

I find H&M sizes don't always match my daughter's age (she's 2). I'm in a big one and the kids section is deserted. I want a few things in multiple patterns so just wanted to try one on her before I bought loads.

It's hot so she's not wearing a lot so i quickly and discretely took her top off and quickly tried it out and back into her top again. As I was putting her top back on, the member of staff saw me and shouted at me.

I wouldn't have minded as much if it was "sorry could you please use the changing rooms" (which were the complete opposite end and different floor for reference). But she screamed across to me OMG WE CAN'T HAVE CHILDREN GETTING DRESSED HERE!!

Was I being completely out of line? I honestly would have expected a similar reaction if I'd just let her wee on the floor.

I wouldn’t have done that. She screamed, literally screamed at you?

I have a 2.5yo and I would have done the same as you OP, mainly because DD hates any kind of cubicle and literally screams the place down if she's in one. The worker was U in my opinion, they could have been politer and more discreet.

So I don't think you're unreasonable and if she screamed at you then that's horrible, but I don't think I'd personally have removed my child's clothes in a shop I guess? I don't know why I just wouldn't. I would've maybe just put it over the top of what they had on or just judge it by look. I don't think I've ever tried anything on my 2yo though!

She shouldn’t have been rude at all, she could have handled it far better. I think you should have used the changing rooms though.

I would have just held the item up to my child’s body rather than take any of her clothes off. But she sounds rather OTT to shout like that.

I’m not sure I would try clothes on DS in the middle of the shop. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to do so though and if she truly screamed at you then that’s ridiculous.

Just for context as to why I wanted to try them on...

Our daughter is tall for her age but quite skinny. I'm fed up of buying clothes that seem long enough but then put them on and they're either so big up top or too small. I've put things over the top in winter but when it's summer clothes I wanted to know they'd fit as intended.

If she'd just come up to me and said "sorry could you use the changing rooms" this topic would never have been started.

How the shop is laid out, no one is taking their kid all the way to the changing rooms and then back again. And I was buying so many I wasn't going to risk them being wrong. If they'd even had a changing room on the same floor it wouldn't have been an issue either.

I also do just want to clarify that my daughter was practically hidden at the back of the shop, right in a corner. It wasn't like I had stripped her naked in the middle of the queue line.

Doesn’t change the fact you should use the changing room though OP! You being too lazy to walk to the changing room isn’t a better defence because your child is young. Putting clothes on children on the shop floor is a fairly common method of theft, it also makes it harder for staff to check that the clothes are still ok to sell and positioned on the hangers properly. Staff member was totally rude and shouldn’t have behaved that way, but they weren’t wrong to wish you would use the changing room.

Also that corner of the shop was likely still covered by cctv, im sure that data will be totally safe but I’d rather my children undressed in private personally.

Again, I have no issue what that.

If they'd said "sorry, can you use a changing room please", I wouldn't have asked the question.

I mean I'm not going in that shop again but if I'm going in another and buying a hoodie or a coat, I'm definitely not going to a changing room or never taking the hanger off anything again.

The CCTV from her swimming lessons will have been recording her in far less.

I think YABU.

the staff member shouldn’t have treated you like that, however I wouldn’t have tried something on my child in a store if it required them removing clothing to do so.

it’s a public place. It’s your job to safeguard them - regardless of how inconvenient walking to the changing rooms is!

Does your child do swimming lessons naked? How can you get ‘far less’ than being totally top half naked. Pretty unusual for girls to swim top half naked.

Coat and hoodie arnt the same as you don’t have to be half naked trying them on.

Boys swim with their top halves naked. What do toddler girls have on their top halves that boys don't?

No she wears a required-for-our lesson swimming nappy. All the little girls wear the same as the boys. It's the same for the lesson we see before and afterwards, it's not just us. She's 2. What's different about her top half than a 2 year old boys?

You brought up theft and hangers which is what I was referring to. I thought you were implying by that that even over clothes is an issue.

Nothing, I haven’t created the childrens swimwear market though, it is unusual for girls to swim top half naked. But the OP said her daughter swims in far less than that anyway.

My son wears a swim top though as it’s warmer in the swimming pool.

I don't think you did anything wrong OP. I find it disturbing that some people view toddlers with their top halves naked momentarily as if it was some sort of adult strip show. It makes me wonder what is going on in their minds.

I didn’t say boys and girls are different, i said it’s unusual, which is just factual. Im
also not being strange for having the opinion that trying clothes on in the changing room is sensible. You asked, I gave my opinion. I didn’t disagree with you about the staff member being an idiot.

I think people should get changed in changing rooms = you subjected your child to an adult strip show. Yep that’s exactly what I said 🙄

I've seen grown adults try dresses on over their vest tops and leggings in the middle of the shop floor and wouldn't bat a eye lid on a kid. Shop worker was rude and it's stupid to place a changing room on a different level when you can't use stairs or escalators with a pushchair etc and have to take a lift which takes forever or the fact you queue up and they tell you to go down two floors to the main till when there's one there already. I also don't understand why people get so worked up on seeing a topless toddler.

Completely off point of tour thread @Annfr but I used to buy my tall skinny toddler trousers from Zara, i found the sizing better for him. I bought his tops and hoodies etc from H&M. Lovely clothes but their measurements are on the big size.