Give me some hope please - sleep issues!

[byebyeyaya]

So my 12 month old is a really crap sleeper. He has improved over time but is still crap. We can't sleep train as he is the type who would keep screaming forever which I don't really have the heart for but also the walls in our house are paper thin and i don't want to disturb the neighbours or get reported for child abuse from the amount of screaming! So just to preface with that as I know that will be a suggestion. We are kind of stuck with the current situation which is as follows:

The good:
He sleeps in his own bed
On good nights he only has one or two wakeups and good nights are becoming more common

The bad:
He needs walked around to sleep
He point blank refuses to sleep earlier than like 8:30 and trying to force it means he screams when put down and is generally un-put-downable.

This doesn't sound too horrible but we get woken up at 5:30 if not by him then by his older brother so we really need to be in bed by 9pm and the lack of me time at the end of the night is really starting to take its toll on me. Older brother goes to bed at 7pm and we've tried to shift his bedtime later but he wakes up early regardless. For nursery purposes they really need to be up at 6am anyway.

So we're stuck in this crappy situation. Sorry for all the rambling. I'm not here for advice and I know 'this too shall pass'. But to hear from someone with a similar situation and ask - when does it pass??? When did they stop needing carried? When could they be put down awake and go to sleep alone? Just a timeline to aim for would make me feel better because atm it seems endless.
Thanks.

I don’t have any advice but am somewhat in a similar situation. I only have the one DS, he’s 10 months. He’s never been a good sleeper. Like you on a good night he wakes 1-2 times, but we have 2-3hr long battles at bed time (should be 8pm, ends up being more like 10pm) and then he wakes up between 5-6am every single morning. He never sleeps more than 8hrs overnight. I’m completely exhausted from the nightly battle, the night time wakeups and early starts. Just wish I got even an hour in the evening before trying to go to sleep because of the super early starts. It all feels impossible sometimes 😖

Start cutting down the carrying. Do it til he's almost asleep then put him in the cot awake and comfort him there til he drops off. Then carry him less and less til he's just going straight into the cot to be comforted to sleep. Then cut down the comforting til he's just going in the cot.

He will cry. There's no way round it. Warn the neighbours and buy them a bottle of wine or something.

Sorry to hear you're going through something similar. It's so tough isn't it? I'm desperate to be able to wind down at the end of the day but it's straight to bed after him!

I'll try to cut down the carrying thanks. But my neighbours are a bit scary so will avoid that interaction. 😑