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Original poster

Social services

25 replies

GG1991 · 15/05/2022 00:16

Hi
Really worried mum here.
Long story Wednesday i went to pick my little boy up form school his 10 and has Sensory Autism. And his teacher sent me to office told me the head would meet me there. I was so worried my boy had been hurt. Once i got to the office the head took my other child from me whos 3 it was really quick. While the deputy head told me to come in side room with her i was so worried that my boy been hurt bad they didnt want my little one to see incase there was blood thats what i was thinking. But no when got to the room told me to sit down and the head came back in told me my little one was with another teacher. I wasnt expecting what happend next they told me that one of the teacher over heard my son saying to another pupile that his mum hit him with a big fat belt and that his nana used a kane to hit him!! Omg i was modified and tears came form no were i felt physically sick i told them i have no idea why he would say that and that am in utter shock. Once i stop crying i have really bad anxiety i have since a was child and the idea of getting my babies taking away from me is just an unbearable thought they are my world. Anyway they brought my son in and ask him why he said what he said my son said he never said that i hit him with a belt he and other pupil were talking about videos they watched on youtube and he was telling her about the boy getting hit by his mam with a belt then they ask him about his nana using a kane on him he said that he told the other pupil that when his nana was at school if she was naughty she would get kaned. I told him to be truthful and he promised that was the truth. They didnt say what would happen next they said they wanted to speak to be before they rang SS. Anyway we went home and i was still in shock. He showed me the video and in the video was a cartoon of a little boy whos mam would hit him with a belt and in this video the character said exactly what the teacher said my son had said (my mum hits me with a big fat belt) and he kept on telling me that he said his nana got kaned not that he got kaned. So now i think teacher misheard the conversation between the 2 kids. So i emiled the deputy head who deals with safe guarding. And explained to her what my son told me and even sent her the link to video to see for her self. And she message me this back (Good morning. Don't worry at all. Sometimes we have to have difficult conversations with parents just to clear things up. I am pleased you were able to speak to him and hopefully he will understand the reasons we had to speak you. There is just so much out there on social media that its really difficult for parents. If we have any further issues we will of course get in touch with you again. Try not to worry. Mrs Green ). But am still worried dose this mean they havnt rang SS or will they just turn up one day i am really stressing my husband and my mum both say am over thinking and thats the end of it now and if they were to call SS they would have told me. Am i over thinking? What will happen now if they have? What the likelihood that they have rang them ? Please and advice 🙏

OP posts:
wishuponastar1988 · 15/05/2022 00:19

If they were worried you were hurting your child they would've called social services before you picked your child up and it's likely a social worker would've met you in school/seen your child/spoken to you. It sounds like they are satisfied that everything is ok and there are no safety issues.

wishuponastar1988 · 15/05/2022 00:20

Sorry to add I am a social worker and that's the process in a nutshell that we would follow (there would be other meetings and stuff with police in the background) but you would know about it. Try to relax x

TonksInPurple · 15/05/2022 00:20

I’m not surprised you are panicked sounds like they haven’t reported it.

Emerald4512 · 15/05/2022 00:39

Teacher here. I don't think they've reported it and I think it's done with now so try and not stress :)

Original poster
GG1991 · 15/05/2022 09:45

Thank you for taking the time to reply.
I also messaged the head and she seemed to ease my mind this is what she wrote back ( Ah, please don’t worry Georgie. I’m just glad we got it all sorted. Mrs M ) my husband say going to the message it definitely over xx

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Snorkellingaround · 15/05/2022 09:49

I understand why you were so upset but I don't think they have referred you. The school seem happy that the matter is closed. Look after yourself and focus on feeling ok again with self care and whatever helps you feel calm.

Original poster
GG1991 · 15/05/2022 09:54

Thank you for taking time to reply.
My anxiety though roof ano it was only conversation but it was awful. Never felt anything like it. Also messaged the head she messaged me back ( Ah, please don’t worry Georgie. I’m just glad we got it all sorted. Mrs M ) witch has made me feel little bit better i dont think she would use the word sorted. I totally understand why they had to speak to me and it good thing they so hot on it. Xx

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Original poster
GG1991 · 15/05/2022 09:54

Thank you for taking time to reply to me xx

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HappyKatieA · 15/05/2022 10:04

I am the Designated Safeguarding Lead at my school.
All staff are obligated to report any concerns, which is what happened, it's a good thing, it protects vulnerable children.
I would have done exactly what they did, and from what you have said I would feel quite assured that this was probably a mistake, and the explanation your little boy gave was feasible.

illbeinthegarden · 15/05/2022 10:05

You have both your names mentioned in this thread can you ask mods to edit maybe?

Try not to worry they have to address it and sounds like it's all sorted now.

Original poster
GG1991 · 15/05/2022 14:46

Thank you for your reply. Am starting to feel i little bit better. The school have know me for a very long time and u only have to spend time with my kids to know they are well looked after loved and protected. But was absolutely devastated and sounds silly but left me with a fear a feel with dread when pick him up amd every time phone rings think it SS xx

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Emmelina · 15/05/2022 14:55

They have to ask. If they were very concerned (saw signs of injury) they would have gone straight to SS rather than telling you and risking you giving him the beating of his life for telling!
They now know exactly where it came from, and from their apology it seems it has gone no further.
My ASD daughter misinterpreted my DH’s joke about stretching her on a rack like the olden days when she was too short for a fairground ride, and went in and told her teacher 🤦🏻‍♀️ It warranted a conversation but nothing more!

MardyOldGoth · 15/05/2022 15:05

If I'd been in this situation in my (non-school) professional capacity, following the conversation with the child, if I still had concerns I'd have said 'unfortunately, I do still need to refer this to children's services.' Best practice is to inform the parents of the referral where possible (so, you're able to get hold of them to tell them, which they were in this case, or telling them wouldn't further increase risk, which doesn't seem relevant here). I think they should have clarified whether or not they would still be referring, however from the information you've given it doesn't sound like they are going to. I'd contact school tomorrow and ask for clarification just to put your mind at rest.

Original poster
GG1991 · 15/05/2022 17:10

Thanks for your reply .
Yeah i have already messaged they said not to worry so am taking that as they havnt. I dont want to keep on at them.
They did state that if my son said this directly to a member of staff they would have reported stright away. But wanted to speak to me frist xx

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Gingerkittykat · 15/05/2022 17:18

You have given both your first and surname on the thread making you potentially identifible. Mumsnet will take the thread down if you ask them.

LIZS · 15/05/2022 17:18

If they felt it was a serious safeguarding risk they would not have spoken to you but referred directly to SS.

Original poster
GG1991 · 15/05/2022 17:48

I have used Alias for both mine and the teachers names as a just copyed and pasted the messages but replaced the names, Mrs Green is and alias for the Deputy head

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Original poster
GG1991 · 15/05/2022 18:08

Thank you so much you reply had eased my mind a little . I also messaged the head and she sent me this (Ah, please don’t worry Georgie . I’m just glad we got it all sorted.
Mrs M ) i have copy and pasted it but changed my nama and the initials of the head teacher. Xxx

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Comedycook · 15/05/2022 18:16

They have to check so they did the right thing. I'm not an expert but I imagine if they truly believed a child was being abused like that they wouldn't talk to the parents first..theyd go straight to ss. I could be wrong but that's my hunch.

Original poster
GG1991 · 15/05/2022 19:47

Thanks for taking time to reply. Yes that what everyone seems to be saying so hopfully that's the case. A just need to try and get past my anxiety about it. My husband took couple days of work so he can do school run silly as it sounds really worried about picking him up xx

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Original poster
GG1991 · 16/05/2022 16:38

Thank you to everyone that took time out to comment xxx

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Original poster
GG1991 · 18/05/2022 18:58

Well its been a week since it happend. I havnt hard anything els form it so am guessing they havnt phoned. Ano most people saying thst was case anyway i was still worried.

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gabr · 27/05/2022 22:28

It is not my thread, but can I ask here please for advice. My situation is different, the school called the SS, but the feelings overall, worried and not knowing what is next, are the same as described here. The school called us just before the picking up time asking to come to school (me and my husband) as the SS are on their way. We rushed straight away. There we were taken to the headteacher office and we were told to wait to see SS and that our kids are looked after until we do so. The headteacher told us that if we do not like the outcome to call the police. We waited almost 3 hour there. To cut it short, we found out that in the meantime our kids (who are 5 and 8) were interviewed by the SS and the police during that time. After that we were both interviewed separately by SS and police (so much for the police helping us), even if I was very reluctant to be interviewed alone, as I am quite deaf. Again, to cut it short, after the interviews, we were allowed to take the kids back, and they were upset as they were told that we were late to pick them up. The SS and the police turned up at our house a short while later as they said they would do so. We had no problem showing them around. They said they would be in touch and they texted 2 days later asking for a virtual call. At no point we were given any explanation and we are not sure if we should get a solicitor involved. We would like a recommendation or best way how to find one please. Thank you

Gingerkittykat · 28/05/2022 00:32

@gabr you might be best off starting your own thread to get more views and hopefully responses.

gabr · 28/05/2022 01:18

Thank you. I thought of that

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