Need to give top ups but baby refuses!

[MrsCT]

Paediatrician has real concerns about DDs weight gain dropping centiles and we have been instructed to give top ups, the problem is she completely refuses point blank to take bottles (four different types of teats), syringes, cups and even the medela supplementary nursing system! I’m at my wits ends trying to give her tiny top ups that stress her out completely and take up the whole day I could be spending playing with her.
I have breastfed her since birth and no one ever explained to me that an emergency c section birth can be so traumatic for baby that they carry so much muscle tension in their head and neck that it prevents them from latching properly. We’ve been to a lactation consultant, a tongue tie clinic, a craniosacral therapist and cranial ostepath which was utter nonsense!
ultimately she just doesn’t have a great latch but she seems well fed, she’s alert, happy, energetic and developing on track with everything and she just doesn’t seem to need or want more, I’m so confused and obviously I want to help her gain weight if it’s what she needs but I don’t know what to do because she seems fine and all it’s achieving is stressing her out and causing her to associate feeding with stress!

We went to a private tongue tie clinic for a proper assessment which was a set price for assessment and more to actually cut the tie so if it was just someone trying to get money out of me they would have recommended they cut the tie so I’d pay more as it won’t hurt her but it just won’t help her either because it’s not really the cause of her problems.

I like @linerforlife suggestion. Also, when you are feeding, let her decide if she needs to swap breast. The way babies are fed is the milk becomes progressively thicker towards the end of the feed-so starting watery and ending like cream. Constant swapping interferes with that.

i always remember my friend who always had small babies. She says now that the children are older, that she felt like paediatricians almost ruined the first year with their panic

It's only now I think it sounds completely like me as baby too similar to my youngest I guess.

Decent birth weight (8lb 6oz and my Mum was 4'10) but barely fed, my Mum saying I never had as much as I was supposed to, never finished a feed etc etc always slept well.

Guess with my youngest I just wasn't aware how much as she breast fed 🤷🏽‍♀️

With centiles and population some babies do have to be on the lower centiles? Often related to height/length but not always.

By 9 months or so my youngest visibly looked slim, no rolls of chub.

I sincerely hope the Drs have ruled out heart issues!

My only advice is to boost your diet - full fat dairy cheese etc to ensure your milk is as calorific as possible -

Sorry I haven't read the thread but just wanted to give my experience.

My DS1 was born on the 75th percentile, by three months he had dropped to the 25th, meanwhile he was 98th for height. He was EBF. I was worried, but the advice given to me was to feed on demand and not top up. He then stayed on the 25th (sometimes a bit above it).

He's now 16yo, still tall and skinny (6'3" now!) but very active and healthy. He was just finding his position on the charts.

Diet won't change the calorific value of Breast milk!

Have you tried breast compressions? They help to maximise milk transfer during feeds.

It may also be worth a second assessment of the tongue tie, frenulotomy isn’t always the answer but the smallest of tongue ties can sometimes have a big impact on how well the baby is able to transfer milk, and your supply too.

Sometimes silent reflux or cows milk protein allergy can also affect weight gain.

thebreastfeedingcompanion.com/ is a good online resource.

My daughter with a posterior tongue tie would only feed well from NUK teats.

I'd get her checked for tongue tie by a specialist I know the hospital check

Also my Ds lost loads of weight because I think I had undiagnosed gestational diabetes. He was born massive. I had it diagnosed with my DC2 but very late, I passed the standard time frame tests for it. It was only due to a growth scan they spotted she had a big tummy which was a sign. So it can be many things.

No luck at all trying to improve night feeds, stripped her off, skin to skin, cold wipe, swapping sides….she latched on better but no matter what I could barely get her to a suck and my boobs still felt really full afterwards with my left side soaked from getting covered in my let down which she presumably just let pour everywhere! I’m literally out of options! She just does not want any extra!

Paediatrician ha also made me paranoid because she said don’t let her stay on the boob too long or she’ll burn more calories sucking than she’s taking in, this sounds like nonsense because all I hear from BF mothers is about how long their baby wants to stay on the boob and they feel like it’s all they do sometimes! But now its made me paranoid that I shouldn’t even persist too long with feeds! 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

@MrsCT you can just do your best. I had 3 kids, first 2 didn't stay to Their birth lines and all it meant was I stressed and panicked. Babies are force fed milk and chunked up but my HV Said this is breeding a generation of fat kids. All kids are different any weighing them is asking for disaster

@bozna thanks, I do feel that she’s fine and I’m going to have to go with that instinct at this point because I’ve just tried it all.

@MrsCT you know your baby more Than anyone, I never took my 3rd for weighing because it was aweful.

Paediatricians rarely understand breastfeeding. They work with a lot of very sick babies most of whom are necessarily formula fed. I'd take breastfeeding advice from someone qualified to give it.

My (male) paediatrician gave lots of 'advice' but wouldn't look at me when breastfeeding and got a (female) nurse in to see if I was 'doing it right', she openly admitted she had no training and had never breastfed and didn't know why she was asked.

Op, when she does feed, especially that first feed in the morning, does she seem settled and relaxed, and does she feed for more than a few minutes? Babies do get more efficient at feeding over time, so may not feed for as long. My midwife assured me that anything over 5 mins was good.

In terms of not wanting to feed during the night, have you heard of a dream feed? You don't actually wake baby, just gently lift them and offer a feed, mine would feed for only about 5 mins but it was a top up, and then she slept till about 6.

Never at any age,it's a choking risk.

And you know your baby best. My ds slept from 7.30pm to 5.30am from 10 weeks. He still sleeps solidly now. If you weren't worried by what the paediatrician had said about her weight you'd probably be chuffed that she's a good sleeper.

Just keep doing what you're doing, feed on demand, keep an eye on nappies and overall health. And take care of you as well.

I didn't either, he was prem and made up his weight so he was 7lbs on the day he should've been born then that was it.

Yes, essentially it’s always a dream feed in the night and she’ll do maybe 8 minutes but only on one side so I tried to rouse her more to maybe get a more substantial feed in the night but no luck. She gets weighed on Thursday and I’ll have to just go from there!

Mainly going by her general happy, content and developing self, and keeping a record of her nappies now, all of which seems to be no problem at all

Sounds like my DD1 - similar birth weight, lost 11% birth weight, but she was happy and alert, gaining weight but dropping centiles. She settled on a centile at about 19 weeks in the end I think. Extra feeds she'd refuse or be sick straight after.

The recommendations I had were doing breast compressions while feeding (sort of like you would to hand express I guess but to help her get more as she sucked) and offering the "third breast" so offer both breasts at each feed then the first one again.

DD is 11 months now and had exactly this weight pattern including exactly the same birth weight! So strange!

We didn't even get referred and she has started to creep back up now.

I think things can be so dependent on where you are. Do what you can but don't stress and see what happens.

@MrsCT Can I ask how you’re little one is doing now? We’re trying to give top ups but to no avail! Really hoping that once we start weaning at 6 months, it’ll help his weight gain. Did solids help your little one to gain more weight/jump up centiles again? X