Autistic traits - getting through to health visitor

[Amber2802]

Hello everyone,

just seeing if anyone has any thoughts or similar experience. My son was 2 in Feb, had his two year check a couple weeks after. I addressed my concerns about autism and was shot down and told I have given him an easy life. We have another appointment soon to see if he’s made much progress in certain areas but he hasn’t despite trying every day!

I have a long list of “quirks” not necessarily autistic traits to mention but I just don’t feel I will be listened too.

Has anyone had any other experiences? I’m cautious a referral is at least a six month wait hence asking to be referred to CDC in feb.

thank you x

Next time you see this “Health visitor” you need to politely stand up to her bullshit.

calmly tell her that there are several traits of autism and that you want a referral right away. Tell her that giving him an easy life would not impact these traits and that it’s necessary to get a referral.

if she still refuses, tell her that you’re sure she understands but you cannot ignore the traits and will be speaking with the GP to act in your sons best interests.

if still not, tell your Gp about the traits and the fact that your HV said the easy life bullshit.

your experience is why mothers become fierce. To put their kids first.

trust me, 15 years down the line, you will not accept this kind of bullshit from anyone. Tell her calmly that you need the referral.

Found some HV rubbish too.

But they can't ignore you if you keep pushing to be referred.

My son was diagnosed privately at 2 and NHS at 2.5.

He is 3.5 now. He's only now sort of starting to respond to pictures. If your son isn't ready for this then start with object based communication, so an object signifying actions. Eg for us we had the bottle meaning bedtime. His robe meaning bathtime etc.

Have you heard of portage? This could be a good service for you, it's a play therapist who comes to the house.

If you're not happy with the HV then ask to speak to the team lead. Just a thought, are you sure it was a health visitor you saw? It's quite unusual for them to do the two year checks round here, it would usually be a community nursery nurse.

My ds is 16. He needed physio for a birth injury as a baby and the woman who came to my house to do it told me that I shouldn’t pick him up when he cries. He was a few days old. I meekly put him down. If this was said to me these days, I’d simply say:

I’m picking him up.

she made me feel useless as a first time mum. I would absolutely not stand for any

Any such shit these days, from anyone

Can you do the M CHAT and take along the results? No pointing by 2 is a massive red flag, even lack of pointing by 1 is concerning.

I would book another HV appointment ASAP and take along the M CHAT results, and if you can get a copy of the 24m ASQ questionnaire and fill that out for them to check over (if that wasn't already done), and request a referral on those results.

Is paying privately an option?

If the GP agrees with you, why the hell can't s/he contact the health visitor and ask for a referral?

Just a couple Of West Sussex resources which may help you get support and understand how to get further help.

Reaching families produce a guidebook to local services: Reaching families

There's also West Sussex Carers group. I know someone who had really useful support through them although at a different stage with their child. No harm in contacting them though?West Sussex Carers

I'm sorry you're having such a struggle to get help 😔

Hi, I was just wondering whether you got anywhere with the HV and got the referral you needed? I'm contacting the HV at the moment about my DD but haven't heard anything back yet.

Hello, it is a battle! Health visitor finally did a referral in the September I believe, when she did the assessment form to send off she was quite surprised at the results. The sooner you can get the referral the better as he won’t properly be assessed for maybe another year. Please message me if you need any help. It is an isolating and frustrating time xx

Does he go to nursery? Experienced nursery practitioners will be able to tell if his development is in normal range and he has autistic markers in his behaviour. We do 2yo checks that health visitors do but we often see the child more often to have a better knowledge of usual behaviour for that child.

The quickest way to get a referral to CDC is through the GP if the health visitor isn't being helpful.

Thank you so much for your reply, I spoke to a duty health visitor again and she has said that a health visitor In my area will be in contact within 2 weeks to do a review of my DD and then look a referral to CDC. I hope they do the review quickly and start the referral process soon! Thank you again for your reply. It's really isolating and stressful going through this. X