Toddler still wide awake - please help, I can't cope

[shattered001]

My toddler (aged 26 months) has turned into a terrible sleeper. He's in his cot now and is wide awake, calling out for DH, chatting away and asking to watch TV. Then occasionally he calls out for some random toy and gets really upset when we don't hand it to him.

He used to be a fairly decent sleeper and was good at settling himself, but a few months ago he started getting very upset when we left the room for his nap and at night. Since that point, either me or DH has sat with him in the room whilst he falls asleep to reassure him.

The issue is that he just DOESN'T sleep - he went into his room at 8.30pm tonight and is still awake and very lively now. DH has been up there with him pretending to be asleep on the bed for the last 1.5 hours.

I'm so exhausted and feel like I just can't go on like this, with no evenings with DH whatsoever.

His routine is something like this:

8am wake
2pm nap
3.30pm wake
8.30pm bed

We did try dropping his nap but that made it worse - he still wouldn't sleep until very late but was screaming and crying for ages, I guess from overtiredness.

How can we stop having to sit with him until he falls asleep, and how can we try to get him to sleep earlier? Any advice would be gratefully received.

Obviously dinner / bath as well in the above:
dinner at 5/ bath at 6/ bottle at 7

Thank you. I will wake him at 7/7.30am tomorrow and take it from there. I’ll let you know what happens.

Earlier nap!
Wake at 7am
Nap by 1pm latest

Wake by 2pm latest.
if u can do earlier than thats even better

Blackout curtains may help reinforce the message 'its sleep time'.

Mine went through this on and off 'till he was 3 and my only advice is stuck to the routine; put to bed, leave room and don't go back unless you have to - I got used to listening to him chattering away (it's annoying I can't settle 'till he's asleep but it's pretty harmless) he's in a bed so if he got up I'd silently walk him back, tuck him in and go back downstairs, and repeat

He's got a story cd he likes (Gruffalo's child) I leave it on repeat 'till I go to bed

He's learnt to settle himself but it took MONTHS

Hang in there, it does get better

Good luck with your experiment tomorrow OP!

My advice from a professional perspective (researcher in the anthropology of sleep) would be to wake at 7, nap at 12:30/13:00 for max 2 hours and then bed for 7.30. In my view 26mo is too early to drop naps for the vast majority of children (and even adults would benefit from a 20-40 minute nap in the middle of the day, if only our schedules permitted!). Of course every child is different, but since your DS was happily doing 90mins or so, it suggests that he does need the sleep - he was just doing it at the wrong time in my view.

Everything else about pitch black room, consistent routine, comforters etc has already been said, but working with the circadian rhythm is a fantastic tool in getting sleep back on track. Resorting to ‘new’ measures and interventions like sitting in his room etc (whilst I understand how you’ve got to that point) probably won’t get you very far and in fact could introduce new sleep associations and dependencies when you want DS to maintain his ability to fall asleep and resettle between sleep cycles (which he clearly can do). Happy to write more but tbh it’s worth seeing how your rejig of timings goes first.

All the best!