Biting in nursery

[PopcornAndWine]

Hi my 2 year 9 month old DD bit another child in nursery today. They said it was unprovoked, she lunged for him and apparently her teeth left marks in his arm and they had to do an incident report.

I'm feeling very upset and shaken. She's never done this in nursery before, she once tried to bite me playfully before and was firmly told off and not to do it again.
Her behaviour is generally pretty good aside from usual 2 year old stroppiness. She is very affectionate usually too.

When I got her home we both spoke to her and told her she mustn't ever do it again and that she must say sorry tomorrow. She was upset so I think she understood. Not sure if there is much else I can do, just looking for a bit of a hand-hold I guess and wondering if others have had biters and how you dealt with it?

It’s unfortunate but a common thing for toddlers to explore. When I had similar, many many years ago, I did (while in discussion) put a bite of my teeth on my 3yr olds hand (she said I could because biting “doesn’t hurt”) obviously I didn’t properly hurt her but she did realise teeth could hurt someone else and she promised never to do it again and didn’t. You’d probably be at risk of child protection if you did that nowadays but if she can understand maybe ask her what her own teeth on herself feels like? On the flip side, if it helps, I now have a toddler again and I would expect it to be just one of those annoying things if he came home bitten so long as it wasn’t a regular occurrence.

Yes my son went through a bitey phase for a few weeks age 3, mainly caused by moving up to the preschool at his nursery where he was frustrated by the bigger kids (he wasnt very verbal at the time).

Then every day had a chat before preschool for about a minute, about what being a good boy means, chanting "no biting, no pushing, no shouting" with lots of smiles and encouragement. And then after preschool I'd check in with his preschool teacher who would tell me how he did that day, and if it went well teacher would say, "so he gets a sticker!" And then at home we had a sticker chart which my DS loved choosing a sticker for then showing his daddy after he got back.

Worked a treat. Kids this age love stickers!

how you dealt with it?

By remembering she is little, that she hasn't yet got full control of her actions, that it is usually caused by frustration so in her mindnshe was provoked, that it is developmental, that she doesn't fully understand the link between being told off now and not doing it again, so if she does it again it's not because she is naughty.
Draw a line under it, use positive language don't keep saying 'don't bite' say we only use our teeth to eat food, and show them when we smile. I was very reticent about using this approach but I have found it to be more productive than saying don't bite.

Thanks for the suggestions everyone. Feeling a bit better now

Earlier she kind of went for my arm, nearly like she was seeing what she could get away with. I said a firm No and pushed her away (gently) and she immediately said sorry and kissed my arm. So I think she is starting to get it's wrong.

🤞 it doesn't happen again tomorrow!