6 year old toilet training

[Giraffe1312]

Hi. I’ve read loads of threads from people going through the same as me but I’d love to hear from people who went through it and that eventually it may have stopped or they found a solution.

son is in year 1. Started potty training at 2. Has never been dry. Odd weeks here and there at the most. Found out he has an overactive bladder. Tried medicine. Now on a tens machine. It’s helped a lot. He can be dry if he wants to be. Yes he has to go more frequently than others still but his bladder will only get bigger if he drinks enough and let’s it fill and gets to the toilet.

He openly admits he is lazy and can’t be bothered to get out his seat and go. He doesn’t care about being wet. He doesn’t admit he’s wet. He doesn’t get up to sort it out. He makes more effort in school but still has daily accidents.

we have tried fully ignoring this. He cleans himself up and puts everything in the wash. We have tried so many different rewards. We have tried taking things off him. He does not care about anything. He’s happy. He has a stable happy home. He likes school.

the over active bladder hasn’t helped but we have that mainly sorted now. Now it’s down to him.

im at my wits end. Help!

Amazing thank you!!

What a load of rubbish! Can you call the bladder team yourself and ask how you get referred to them? Why is everything so hard. Maybe you could go private?

Certain foods I avoid completely. Dark fruits etc.

Anything with sweeteners!!

I think Eric website has some suggestions around bladder irritants. Milky puddings/yoghurts after dinner don't help.

A big thing for mine has been letting him drink to thirst. He actually needs bloody nowhere near what some websites suggest, especially in winter. I realised this when I let him drink far less in total (but fewer bigger drinks, not sipping constantly) and realised urine was still pale.

Massively this. The doc told us lots of kids now are drinking more than they need and it's better to have bigger drinks, less frequently to stretch the bladder. My son's wee is always clear thru the day so he's not dehydrated but doesn't drink the bottles upon bottles some kids are chugging down all day long

I am an adult with an overactive bladder and I sometimes still wet myself and it's not because I'm lazy. I go to the toilet every half an hour. When you need to go you can't always get there quick enough.
Also as for openly admitting he's lazy I feel that thought has been put in his head.
With an overactive bladder you can wee if you cough If you sneeze, if you are constipated or need the toilet.
Diuretic drinks can increase the problem.
So please do not think your son is lazy he isn't and it's a very uncomfortable problem.
Mirabegron or Oxybutynin, helps but doesn't take it away completely. X

I didn't know I could contact them directly. I'll look into that, thank you!
I'm not sure about going private TBH. We are already going private for her ADHD assessment @ ££££ (because accessing those services via the NHS is even harder than the bladder team!), so will see how that pans out first. If everything is indeed linked, then hopefully some help will come from that direction. Only another 7-ish weeks to go until that appointment!

I had some problems with DS (similar attitude but not quite so bad).

I did have some success when I gave him the choice of washing his own poopy underpants or me throwing them away. The first time he chose the latter but was sad. The second time he had a creditable attempt at washing them in the sink. So far we have not had another poopy pants incident fingers crossed.

Thank you for your reply. I utterly understand that it’s harder for him. I really do. But I have days when he doesn’t even go near the toilet at all. Doesn’t even try and approach it. Just does it where he is, doesn’t say anything about it and wouldn’t even change if it wasn’t noticed. So there is definitely a lack of trying. Then about week 7 of using his tens machine he was suddenly dry for two weeks. Right through the day not a drop. So how can there be no behavioural element to this? I wouldn’t be concerned at all if I could see him running for the loo but had accidents. But when you see them not even trying at all, not visiting your toilet once in a day, that’s where the frustration creeps in. Does that make sense?

Well done to your DS. We never had poop as an issue. Just wee. He puts them in the washing machine at the moment. Empties his bag from school with his dirties in and puts them in the machine too

Also we tried oxybutinal at first but it gave him residual urine and we had to stop it. Then tried a second drug which did nothing what so ever. Now on tens machine. It’s defo less over active. Calmer. And bigger capacity. But the rest has to come with him drinking on a schedule and weeing on a schedule to train the bladder and he won’t do any of it

Did you ask the doctor for help when your Ds was in Reception? When was the last time he saw the dr about this issue? If there isn’t a medical condition that’s causing this then maybe you could tell him that no one will invite him to their houses if he can’t use the toilet. Also dc will become more mean in the next academic year. It will only worsen.

Yes we are under a bladder team so have all the medical help and by the sounds of it a lot more than others have managed to get. We know and understand the physical side. It’s the behavioural side that is the hard bit. The physical side won’t get better unless he gets on board with what he has to do. He just doesn’t try at all

Hello, did this finally resolve? My daughter is 6 and experiencing similar issues. It worsened since starting Year 2. Desperately looking for answers.

Can anyone identify theese nappies?

It’s still on going. What has made a huge difference is putting him on Laxido. He was showing no signs of constipation and going toilet each day. But this got out a lot of poo initially and is keeping him regular. It’s helped a lot. He’s still on overactive bladder medication but it’s improved greatly. The only thing that is left is accidents when gaming/ iPad. That is still a problem