6 year old toilet training

[Giraffe1312]

Hi. I’ve read loads of threads from people going through the same as me but I’d love to hear from people who went through it and that eventually it may have stopped or they found a solution.

son is in year 1. Started potty training at 2. Has never been dry. Odd weeks here and there at the most. Found out he has an overactive bladder. Tried medicine. Now on a tens machine. It’s helped a lot. He can be dry if he wants to be. Yes he has to go more frequently than others still but his bladder will only get bigger if he drinks enough and let’s it fill and gets to the toilet.

He openly admits he is lazy and can’t be bothered to get out his seat and go. He doesn’t care about being wet. He doesn’t admit he’s wet. He doesn’t get up to sort it out. He makes more effort in school but still has daily accidents.

we have tried fully ignoring this. He cleans himself up and puts everything in the wash. We have tried so many different rewards. We have tried taking things off him. He does not care about anything. He’s happy. He has a stable happy home. He likes school.

the over active bladder hasn’t helped but we have that mainly sorted now. Now it’s down to him.

im at my wits end. Help!

Also do not use pull-ups these are NOT recommended by enuresis clinics as they just encourage kids to ignore the sensation of needing to go.

Boysmumoymum your post nearly made me cry. This was the hope I needed. I will try all of that thank you x

Skankingwombat I feel your pain. Your girls sound like they have over active bladders too. Have you seen the bladder unit and tried any of the medicine or the tens machine? Have they measured how much urine they can hold?

That’s how I feel about pull ups too. I think it will just prolong things. Thanks

Why are my replies not posting under your comments so you know who it is for? I’m pressing reply and then typing?

Honestly OP I remember crying to family members on the phone when my lo was your childs age, defo felt like despairing. Then somehow from around age 7 it just seemed to slowly get less bad.

That’s has been me tonight. My mum is just saying you can’t change it. He has to do it. So stop letting it stress you. I know that makes sense but it does really frustrate me now when I walk in my lounge and see him sat there in a puddle of wee not even attempting to move 😭

Giraffe1312

I was going to say, as boymumsoymum says, it is more common than people realise and a lot of kids (boys especially imho) just don't see cleanliness as an especial priority. I suspect in the past, kids were outdoors a lot and very unrestricted, so would have just peed wherever and whenever, not to mention no addictive screens etc that make them ignore urges.

I think maturity is a massive part of it. They have to want to do it. Themselves. A lot just havent grown into that maturity at 6.

Thank you for your lovely advice. Bring on the maturity stage 😂

InChocolate is so right. Mine was always fine in the garden when a quick wee behind a bush was all was needed. I believe it's also an element that's sensory - most kids genuinely find moist/wet fabric against the skin uncomfy...a few dont

You might also find that attempting some night training can help. We were surprised to find that after about 10 days going without pullups and with a 10.30pm lift to go for a wee he could manage dry nights like 70-80% of the time, and it was like it got him in the habit of staying dry which then helped in the day too

We tried this during lockdown and it was a good 3/4 changes a night. But then we found he had a small and over active bladder which we have worked on so I could try again. I’ve been told that nighttime is down to hormone levels though and even if they are dry in the day they won’t be dry at night until the hormone has increased enough. His nappy is bursting in the morning and often leaks during the night so I’m not sure he’s anywhere near being ready for that. The bladder people have said forget about nighttime until day is sorted

Apparently it’s the hormone that stops them generating the urine in the first place and not just about bladder capacity to hold it over night. The body has to not be producing it. His is defo producing it at night 😂

Have you had a look at the ERIC website @Giraffe1312? We used them when our DS was diagnosed with bowel problems. They help with both bowel and bladder.

The website is Eric.org.uk and they sell padded pants that look like normal ones. Very expensive but may be worth it for visits in the car and to people's houses where you don't want to be on edge for accidents. They're washable so you reuse them.

Forgot to say ERIC also has a helpline and lots of resources (books/videos etc) for kids as well as their shop. They used to have a forum too so you can talk to parents who had the same issues but I just found out that the message board was moved when they got a new site. The forum/message board is now at healthunlocked.com/eric.

I don't have age specific advice. But my 4.5 DD seems to have zero tolerance for any kind of juice. Half a very small cup will see her go to pee a dozen times in the next hour or two. If we are in the car she will be wailing that she is going to burst even just 10 minutes after her last pee.

I only ever drink water and so that is mostly what my kids drink thankfully. She pees a completely normal amount with just water. But a touch of diluting juice seems to aggrevate her bladder horrendously.

Could water only be something to try?

I have felt the 'tried everything' despair with my 3.5 DS, so I can only imagine how much more exasperated you must be after an additional 3 years.

PP post about sweetners is interesting and will pay more attention to whether they could be a trigger in certain no added sugar drinks.

I’ve read all of their website and materials but didn’t know they have a phone line and discussion board so I will look at that thanks

Thank you for your message @Muststopeating water is all he drinks. Don’t even have squash in the house. Thanks for the suggestion though

Ah sorry! Really hoped there was a magic trick there that could help. But I expect you've tried everything at this point.

I’m hoping not 🤣

The night time thing isn't wholly true. Ds 5.5 recently went dry at night, before he slept through peeing (even if we tried him with no pull up) but now he wakes for a wee and just goes. So I think it's not just hormone, it's also learning to wake for the feeling of needing to go, that's where bed wetting alarms are meant to really work.

What about fruit though OP?

Have you tried keeping a food diary? I've found a few things I definitely now don't give mine in the afternoons. Strawberries being 1

I will defo keep a good diary now. When they eat this food does it make it worse temporarily? Like for an hour? Or the rest of the day? Because I don’t have good spells and bad spells. It’s consistent x

We have seen nobody but the GP (and technically haven't even 'seen' him: it's all been via phone). GP says he'll refer, then referral clerk 'forgets' to send it a couple of times before it finally goes, we wait to hear and eventually get a letter back from Service A saying "Not us Guv, as she isn't suffering from night wetting/some other spurious reason not to help. You need Dr Bob at Service B. Byeeeeee!". The GP then sits on this and doesn't bother to re-refer to Service B until I chase a few times, and then the circle begins again. Nobody seems willing to investigate. The OT referral has come through the school, and we are now waiting to hear if her difficulties are bad enough to be worthy of help (apparently they regularly reject referrals).

I’ve nothing to add with regards to your dilemma @Giraffe1312 i just wanted to let you know if you want the other persons post to show in yours you need to press ‘quote’ not ‘reply’

I hope you find the solution for your ds soon