Feel like I am really struggling

[rosiewalker]

I feel like I am really struggling at the moment. And I am trying to work out if this is just being a mum and i just need to try harder.

I just feel like things are really getting on top of me. I have a 18 month old son and struggle to keep the house clean and tidy. I get over whelmed by small things like packing the bag. Im so tired I work from 6pm-12am about 3 evenings a week and some weekends. So i feel like I never get any time for me I am with my DS all day then 6pm work from when DP comes home and takes over.

When my DS cries or whinges it seems to set off a trigger in me and makes me feel so so angry inside and I just feel like this isnt normal but I really cant help feel this way. I had private councellinga and discussed the birth and the fact DS was in NICU for a week during covid. And I am just always plagued by the thought that I am not a good mum and no matter what my DP says to me it doesnt change how i feel.
I just feel like I want to pause and re set but I dont know how.

sorry to hear you’re feeling this way. From what it sounds like, you have zero time for yourself? Is there anyway you can build in something for yourself? Eg at the weekend a hobby, a walk in the park by yourself, some exercise; or can you afford to put your son into nursery for a morning or 2 a week? I think any parent(mother) would feel as you do : being permanently needed/responsible causes stress burnout which means even trivial tasks are too much to handle. It is unlikely to have anything to do with the birth etc. now and more the cumulative stresses of parenting.