Coming to the end of the fourth trimester. Now what?

[Cocolocochocco]

Hello!
My daughter is now 11 and a half weeks old and we are saying goodbye to those early newborn days.
The whole time people have told me not to worry about things like contact naps, routine, feeding on demand, sleeping long stretches in the day, etc. She’s only little afterall people would say.
So as week 12 and month 3 approaches will she slowly wean herself off those newborn behaviours as she makes developmental leaps? Or is now the time for me to actively be trying to stop things like contact naps and limit day sleep?
Is she now getting to the stage when she can pick up habits?

What to expect in the first year is a really good book. Daytime naps continue for sometime. Until at least 2.5 years. It’s up to you if you wake her or not.
Some babies develop their own routine. Some don’t. It’s also up to you on how you want to handle it

What made me stop worrying about all this is an Instagram account called littlenestsleep she encourages to just enjoy the baby, tune into what you want to do. My son is 6 months tomorrow and I cuddle him to sleep, share bed and enjoy every minute of it without worrying about what anyone think is 'right'. They're little for such a short period of time. It's hard to stop shushing and swaying when that's what keeps them feel loved and secure. And what works for some babies, won't work for other. I chucked all the books away! And I've never been happier :)

Don't worry about changing anything proactively, certainly don't stop contact napping unless you want to. IME babies initiate changes like this on their own term! Eg your little one might start to be more interested in toys soon, so you might naturally shift from the newborn eat-sleep-change cycle towards more of a rhythm based on naps and awake times. Then the awake windows start to get longer (you just notice because baby might not sleep as early as previously etc) and so it becomes more like say 3 distinct naps per day rather than seemingly sleeping all the time. Then you realise bedtime becomes quite late if baby sleeps too late in the afternoon and so you might drop the last nap etc. What I'm trying to say is- these things just happen organically, you don't need to change anything you're doing unless there's something that just doesn't work anymore for you

Do what works best for you. If you want to contact nap then continue, if it works better for baby to nap in a cot, pram etc then do that. There's no right answer. Don't worry about what others are doing even if they're sure they're doing things "right".

If you'd like support with feeding and sleep check out littlenestsleep as previously mentioned or justchillmama on Instagram. Blissfulbabyexpert has suggested routines if you think you'd like to try that route.

My first had no napping schedule, it was stressful as I thought I was doing it wrong. Do what feels best for you and baby 😊

Nothing happened in my experience - babies don't know where their hands are, much less that they've reached a certain number of weeks and that they're meant to learn new behaviour. Just do what works for you and what you're happy with. I found the bigger changes come when they get more physically able, they're still (cute) potatoes at 12 weeks.

From personal experience, do what works for you and your baby and try not to worry about what you think should be happening (don't compare to other parents you may know, etc).

For example, if your daughter contact naps well and you don't mind it, then continue to do it. My son loved contact naps and I loved an excuse to have a forced sit down to chill. He is now 16 months and we stopped contact naps (not consciously, it just sort of happened) around 13 months when he dropped to one nap a day. He now has that nap usually in his buggy and it means I can get a walk in. He's also a lot more comfortable in his buggy than on me now because he's gotten too big. But every now and then when he's tired, he will just climb into my lap for a cuddle and he might fall asleep if he's that tired.

Some babies get themselves into a routine with naps, feeds, etc and thrive on it, and others not so much. You will probably find that these behaviours and your day to day changes gradually as your daughter grows and develops, but it will be a gradual evolvement.

I'd say don't put any pressure on stopping these behaviours, unless it's a change you feel needs to happen to benefit you both in the longer term.

Out of nowhere at 3.5 months DD dropped contact napping. It wasn’t something I consciously did although I had been thinking she was getting a bit too big. She decided that she was going to nap in her pram and at that point she wouldn’t be sshhed to sleep either, she just needs time alone. She’s now 6 months but I’ve started to implement a daytime routine because she was only napping for 20 minutes and it was just a cycle of relentlessness, combined with poor sleeping at night and I needed some time to recharge.

If you’re happy to continue, then continue and follow babies lead. If you feel like you want/need to drop contact naps so you get to have a minute, then start looking at trying to get them to nap elsewhere. We have taken the view that we will follow DD’s lead until it feels unsustainable for us.

Don't try and change anything. let your baby lead. The idea of forming "bad" habits is complete baloney. Do some additional research. I say this with kindness assuming you want to form/continue to form a secure attachment between you and baby.

My baby is 18 weeks and we just follow her lead. Most days are different and she naps different amounts at different times so I watch for cues and go with it.
I didn't actively change anything but she did start having longer wake windows so we used the time to allow her to 'play' I.e I sing to her, play nursery rhymes, walk round the house taking to her about things, tummy time and playing on mat, just added the jumperroo now she can hold her head up. When she was little I always wondered when we'd find time to play as she only seemed to eat and sleep but I get it now as she is awake longer.
I think just keep doing what you do and watch for her cues :)

It depends what you want. Personally I didn't want to continue contact napping once out of the newborn fog but there is no reason to stop if you don't want to. I really had to work on their naps by watching wake windows/sleep environment and trying to get them to do 3 naps a day. Mine did not take to it as easily as some PPs babies did. However we kept at it and we got there. Both kids were much happier in themselves during their awake time once I got their naps sorted out.

Thanks guys! That has reassured my anxious mind. I think we will continue to follow her lead and see where she takes us!
We do need to try and reduce contact napping slightly as getting out the house is getting very difficult before she gets distraught from being tired. I’m up for a daily cuddle but not all 4 of them. @Greentomatoes21 , did you just keep transferring into pram/crib until baby got the hang of it? Any tips?

Do you have a good sling OP? Babies usually sleep very well in these when out and about!

I followed wake windows and put them into the cot about ten min before wake window up. So it wake window was 1.5 hours I put them down after an hour and 20 mins. I would have held my hand on their wee chests until they settled. They got hang of it but it took a lot of consistency