Have I ruined our chances of breastfeeding?

[eastofeden86]

Hi all, I’d love some advice please.

I gave birth to my daughter (first baby) 4 days ago. It ended up being a long, difficult delivery - induction, epidural, ventouse - and sadly resulted in a massive haemorrhage for me. I was wheeled off to theatre in a huge panic so there was no ‘golden hour’ - my husband was left alone in a delivery room covered in blood and given a bottle to feed our daughter.

In hospital they initially tried to help me establish a latch and express colostrum but I was really not in a great place - 3 nights with no sleep, a long delivery and the effects of losing almost 3 litres of blood meant I was almost delirious. And baby was showing signs of an infection. Eventually the neo natal team said just to concentrate on feeding her formula to get me through the night (husband wasn’t able to stay after 8pm).

Now we’re home and despite a couple of successful breastfeeds, daughter won’t latch - or if she does she won’t suck. We’re basically exclusively formula feeding - not what we wanted at all - but she gets so distressed by attempts at breastfeeding. I’ve had a video call with the council infant feeding team and am going to an in person session this week, but I’m really worried I’ve ruined our chances of breastfeeding by relying on formula while we were in hospital. I now wish I’d tried harder.

Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions? Or just reassuring words?!

sorry for the incredibly long post, just needed to get it all out.

I found this video very good for learning about good attachment. The feeding specialist at my hospital recommended it because all the babies in it are very young whereas a lot of attachment videos you see on YouTube etc, the baby is older and finds it easier to latch. Breastfeeding is difficult and at 10 weeks we’re still combi feeding. Someone wise said to me, as long as they babies fed, that’s all that matters. It doesn’t matter whether it’s boob or formula. Feeding is such a small part of being a parent. The early days are extremely tough, the first smiles definitely turn things around x
globalhealthmedia.org/videos/attaching-your-baby-at-the-breast/

Congratulation! This is a wonderful time.

My first delivery went much like yours. Very traumatic and physically awful. Four days of a brand new baby and a very sore body feels like a long time but it really isn’t. You definitely have a good shot at getting baby back on the breast.

To add to all the other great advice I would recommend putting baby near/on your breast before they are hungry. All the time actually if you can. Skin to skin is really important.
I second a day in bed. A few if you can and I’d avoid too many people holding baby. You and your smell are what baby should become familiar with.

All the best and enjoy these special first days.

I had a haemorrhage too, but not as severe as yours. God it knocked the hell out of me. My baby was small and probably due to that plus the haemorrhage she couldn’t get milk out herself. She screamed at the breast it was heartbreaking. Personally I wanted to breastfeed so went all out to try to make it happen. I had to swerve some advice on the way to get through but I did it. Firstly I expressed milk with an expensive (second hand!) pump (I tried a cheap one it was crap). This went on for weeks, it was exhausting. I eventually made enough to stop giving her formula and just gave her my milk. Then I got her feeding with a nipple shield. Everyone told me not to but I don’t regret it one bit. It worked for us. I could fill the end of the nipple shield with milk and it was easier for her to feed. Now at least she wasn’t upset by my breast! Then after a week or two I would try to slip the shield away mid-feed. Eventually it worked! She was breastfeeding! But god it was hard work. Either way you feed please don’t judge yourself.

Brilliant news