Extreme clinginess/separation anxiety in 20 month old

[BeansOn]

I have never experienced this with my older dc so it has come as a shock. I literally can’t leave the room for a second.

is there anything I can do that will help

Leave and come back a LOT. Don't sneak out. Play lots of peepo/hide and seek. Don't give in to it.

I can’t sneak out as she is either holding on to me all the time or playing / watching tv but constantly (every 2-3 seconds) checking that I’m still sitting there. If I get up age will launch herself at me to stop me leaving if I do leave the room she is inconsolable screaming

we do play peekaboo a lot so I’ll continue

im just absolutely fed up of it as I can’t get away for a second

She also can’t talk yet so I wonder if that’s a factor maybe she feels frustrated and can’t express it

Who are you leaving her with when you try to leave?

Sometimes dh or her big sister

sometimes just on her own if nobody home and I need to run to kitchen or bathroom or do a job / wash up etc

Few mins maximum not ages just literally to make tea or wash up few bits or answer the door

Then just go. Bright and breezy, i just need to do XYZ, back in a mo, and then go. Do the thing. Come back. Say hi, have a cuddle, and completely ignore the tantrum. Do this 1000 times a day.

Yes that’s what I’m doing, is that just it will it eventually work ? My others didn’t do this so I’m lost
does it just click at some point

How good is her conversation/understanding? 20m is late to not be walking, are there developmental delays? This could really change how this goes.

She can walk, it’s talking that’s the issue she has 3 words only currently
her understanding is not too bad

It's a real pity that I can't read, sorry.

Again though, 3 words at 20months is quite delayed, is she under SALT? You might want to ask a specialist for advice as there could be other issues at play that are exacerbating the separation anxiety and should probably be handled with extra sensitivity.

Yes I think I’ll ask for her to be assessed.
she definitely understands a lot as if I ask her to bring me something specific she will, if I ask her to do something like clap hands/play peekaboo/kick the ball etc etc she will

@BeansOn did this improve for you? I am at exactly the same stage with my 20 month old who screams and runs after me when I get to pop to the kitchen. She also has limited speech (but not too worried about this as my older DC was a late talker - I don't remember them being this clingy though!)

I'm currently experiencing this, my 20 month old is so clingy with me, I can't walk from one side of the room to the other without her screaming. She isn't walking yet, which is a worry but at the same time not as she's more focused on talking and copying everyone, she does walk with walkers or with me holding her etc. But I can't go ANYWHERE without her screaming, even if her bother, sister and daddy are in the same room as her.

@Mummybear2205what has the GP said about your LO not walking? Has she been referred to physio?

Have you discussed the clinginess and not walking with the HV too? She may want to do the Ages & Stages and the Social & Emotional Ages & Stages.