17 month old throwing tantrums

[rachel876]

Hey!

So my 17 month old throws tantrums a lot and seems to more than other toddlers her age. She tends to scream/cry and throw herself backwards when something doesn't go her way. I am just wondering if this is normal for her age and how did you all deal with this type of behaviour as it's really hard when we are out - she sometimes screams as if she's being hurt!

For background she is a generally happy toddler. She's very clever and knows lots of words for her age but only started walking at 16 months so everywhere is new and exciting to her now she's walking and she just wants to explore.

TIA

Absolutely normal. My 18 month old does that a lot, and so did my older DD. Good luck!

Distract distract distract! Yesterday I stopped a full-on meltdown by pointing out that daddy's socks are green. Turn their attention to something, anything, else, with a tone of voice that suggests that the spatula on the counter is the most exciting thing they've ever seen. This is a very normal stage and they'll grow out of it.

Tactics to reduce frequency of mind loss... Give plenty of warning for change, count-downs etc, offer two choices as much as you can, and ask yourself whether you really need to be saying no as much as you do. You' might find that once you interrogate your reasons for stopping your kid doing something, that you're actually creating battles that don't need to be fought.

Thank you - all great advice! It's honestly the hardest part of this age I think!

Yeah my DD can go at the drop of a hat. I remind myself of that old website 'reasons why my toddler is upset.'

Yesterday she had a full on choking meltdown int he park because she touched a flower.

I get what you mean though, I feel like all I ever see is happy docile toddlers and mine is a screaming banshee!

@MolliciousIntent not to say this isn't great advice, but just to note tantrums are developmentally appropriate and no amount of great parenting is going to get rid of them completely. Noone is failing if their toddler is throwing a strop.

Case in point - I did all the right things this morning (do you want a jumper on? Yes. Do you want to wear this jumper or that jumper? That jumper etc.). It did not prevent the tantrum as the jumper actually went on.

We persevere.

I get that - that's why I said "reduce frequency" not "eliminate"

These are hilarious when told like that but I really do feel your pain! We had it yesterday putting her shoe on. She cried because it fell off but screamed because she had to stop moving to let me put it back on again.

It's people who stare that get me the most and make me feel like I'm doing something wrong when I can't diffuse it straight away

Very common and normal. Ignore people starting - this is much easier now I am on DC3

This is a good basic starter guide to tantrums.

www.ahaparenting.com/read/toddler-tantrums

Hi @rachel876
I feel like I’ve spent most of my 19 month olds life searching this type of stuff on mumsnet! You are not alone, mine has been like this for months, every day I say to my mum, why am I the only one failing? Today I took her to an outdoor playgroup, she loves being outdoors. She had woken at 5.30 though and was exhausted by 10 so for the first part, while all the other kids sat down to be registered, mine was screaming. It’s so embarrassing. However, she then played fine for an hour while some others tantrummed and mums took them home etc. We are just so much more aware of our own. I do feel like DD has an extreme temperament. If she’s happy, she’s buzzing, if she sad or angry she’s fuming, screaming like something awful is happening. She also hits when she’s frustrated or upset, strangely only to adults, not children. I’m here to talk whenever because I know just how you feel.

Oh wow I completely get this! This morning it was tantrum after tantrum for us at her toddler group.
I'm not sure if it's me being conscious of her but I feel like she does it a lot more than others! I feel the same with her personality too - like she gets very passionate about things, but on the other hand she gets very shy and will hide her face and cry when she's in a new environment or when people she doesn't know get close to her

@rachel876 they sound very similar. I’ve even questioned if there’s something else with her but I just think it’s personality. It’s really hard though, I’m knackered lol.