Why do I feel so guilty about stopping breast feeding

[Belle82]

I’m breastfeeding my son, he’s 20 weeks now and I only really intended to breastfeed up to 6 months.

He is allergic to dairy, soy and eggs, so I removed all of those from my diet months ago.
He will have to be weaned onto this very strange formula (my daughter had it too and it took about a month to wean her onto it)
He won’t take a bottle either so that’s another hurdle.

The reasons I want to stop are selfish and I feel such terrible guilt

• I want to eat what I like again


• I want my husband to be able to do night feeds too (I’ve only been getting 3-5 hours sleep a night since he was 3 months old 😩)


• My mental health is really starting to spiral


• My relationship with my little girl is starting to get impacted, I’ve become snappy & I hate myself for it. I want some solid 1:1 time with her.

My DD weaned herself around 8/9 months so I never felt guilty about getting her on formula, but I feel like I would be taking something away from my son because I selfishly want to 😔

Wow well done for sticking it out for 20 weeks OP! That’s really hard work, you should be so proud of yourself. There is nothing to feel guilty about - you are moving baby onto another suitable food, and then it’ll be time for weaning very soon, too. There is no problem whatsoever, babies’ diets change. Enjoy the next chapter 😊

Fed is best!
Your reasons are perfectly justifiable.

My breastfed son also had the same three allergies OP (diagnosed at about 12 weeks of age) and I found having a restricted diet very difficult.

After about a month I hit the wall and said to my DH that I was struggling so much with it all that I wanted to put our son on formula (well I didn’t, but I felt I had no other choice).

My son absolutely refused to take a bottle though so ultimately I had to carry on breastfeeding.

Anyhow, I just wanted to show you some empathy regarding breastfeeding a baby with allergies because it’s so, so hard.

Your reasons for wanting to stop are completely understandable.

@DogsAndGin thank you, I didn’t really think about the solids coming soon. I’m thinking about leaving the weaning process until then maybe.

@Beamur thank you & I completely agree with that statement.
My mum has always been very obviously disappointed that I want to “give up” at 6 months. Mind you, our relationship is pretty awful. 😒

Ignore your mother, that's awful.

You breastfeed your baby for as long as it's working for both of you. When one of you wants to stop, you stop.

How are your reasons selfish? Why would anyone want someone to suffer through that when they don't want to and there's a pretty easy fix for all of those issues?

You've done a fantastic job so far. Time to share the load

@PaddlingLikeADuck it really is a killer.
when I find something nice I can eat I buy it in massive bulk 😂
Thank god the free from ranges in supermarkets have improved in 4 years!

I think the conflicted feeling of wanting to stop but also not wanting to stop is because he is my last baby.
So I am desperately trying to hang onto everything last thing, he seems to be growing up so much quicker than my little girl did!

Why is it the moment you have children its like the fast forward button is pressed.

I stopped bf both times at three months. Not because there were problems, but because I was going back to work for a break from childcare and wanted more sleep. Doubly selfish.
They did sleep much much better, I felt more in control, and twenty years on as they go off to uni as intelligent healthy young adults now wonder what on earth I felt guilty about at the time.

when I find something nice I can eat I buy it in massive bulk!!!! Thank god the free from ranges in supermarkets have improved in 4 years!

I used to treat myself to these really expensive dairy free chocolate treats and they cost a stupid amount of money for what they actually were! I my husband used to moan all the time but I told him that I was sacrificing everything else I loved so I deserved an expensive treat every now and then (every day) lol.

When my son was a year old the dietician told me to start introducing small amounts of dairy back into my diet to see if he could tolerate it through my breast milk and thankfully he could, although it was a long progress. I would say that by the time he was about 15-16 months old I could eat whatever I wanted except for cows milk as he still reacted to that via my milk.

Even though he was able to tolerate dairy through my diet, he couldn’t actually eat it directly himself until he was over 2.5 years old.

I tell you something though, the amount of weight I lost by being dairy free for a year was astonishing!!! In hindsight, it was worth it just for that reason, lol!