Talk to me about childcare (outside of nursery hours)

[EmeraldAquaWildlings]

For context: my husband and I are moving our young family (children age 1 and 3) back to the UK after a long time of living abroad, so we are not familiar with the British childcare system and customs.

We’ve started to get our heads around the differences between Nursery/Reception and/or a childminder for the standard hours, but I’m beginning to think now about those “extra” hours. My husband and I will both be working full time, and we also want the ability to do the odd thing for ourselves (gym, haircut etc). From what I can understand, getting help with the school/nursery pickup and giving them dinner and keeping them entertained afterwards would mean we need either a childminder or a nanny, correct? Could someone give me a breakdown of what each of these options would look like, including rough prices too if possible :) also, I read somewhere that a nanny would essentially be employed by you so you are exposed to sick pay, maternity pay etc… can this be right? If something happens I can’t afford to pay them maternity/sick pay plus the cost for another nanny. If you go through some sort of agency can you get around this?

Thanks in advance for any info!

One thing to bear in mind re nannies is that mat pay is reimbursed by the government so you can claim it back. Otherwise it would be entirely unaffordable! If you're moving to London you can look at sites like Koru Kids that help with after school nannies - I have friends who've found great help on there.

Sounds like something like booking a babysitter once a month so you and DH can go out for dinner together would be what you need?
The other way people sometimes get around this issue when they don’t have family babysitting on tap is to trade babysitting favours with trusted friends with similar age kids. - So once a month you have all the kids from both families for the evening and then once a month they look after all the kids from both families for the evening.
Or, you socialize with people who also have families in each other’s homes. So you hold a dinner party type thing and put the kids to bed then have grown up talk+ a glass of wine/board game/film of whatever together.

There are a few Nannys around our school but they will want to bring their own children back to your house too if only an after school arrangement, so I don't see how that would work with any after school activities long term. Childminders the kids go to theirs but tend to finish at 5.30pm/6pm at the latest.
Sounds like you need a day nursery for both. The older one can access their preschool provision within the nursery. Most nurseries finish at 6pm too.

I'd suggest use weekends for haircuts and one of you has the kids. One does the gym sat morning, one Sunday and the other looks after the little ones. Or you may find a posh health club like David Lloyd has a crèche or kids care but whether the kids want to do that is another thing.

There are some great babysitting sites and if you got to know a few specific sitters, you could absolutely work with that to take the pressure off outside of “normal” childcare hours. You’d have to plan it a bit of course - but probably worth it.

There are options. It’s all about being able to afford it and finding the combination that works for you. We have an after school nanny (we pay her an obscene amount so she is willing to do it) and a babysitter. We have 3 children that go to primary and nursery and the nanny handles them until we get back from work 4 days a week. One day I wfh so I can finish early. We then use a babysitter who is significantly cheaper for when we want to go out.

I am expecting again and we are considering adding an au pair to the mix in order to manage everything. It works well for us, it is just expensive but in fairness both the nanny and the babysitter are fantastic and deserve every penny.

You are exactly right There is so much to do all the time!!

I know some people who've tried to get after school nanny's it's very difficult as because people have said the hours stop them doing other jobs I know a lady who used to pay £25 per hour so it was £75 a day from 3-6 which is just madness.

I do think you have to be realistic - you've chosen to be patents and everyone else has to have their hair done and as for going out - pay a babysitter as and when but don't make a song and dance about finding yourself blah blah blah and it being hard - newsflash!!!!! Being a parent is hardwork!!!!

We could all do with "time out to find ourselves"!! But If both of you working full time is going to be such an ordeal maybe you need to have a re-think?

I used Koru Kids to cover 3-7pm
and they were great. In Z2 London though.

We have a decent babysitter for nights out and DC do activities at our local leisure centre where we just have to be onsite so we go to gym during gymnastics/swimming/football.

In my experience only the very well off will have extra childcare to cover going to the gym, haircuts etc. Or have grandparents nearby and willing to help out on a regular basis. Otherwise parents tend to cover this sort of thing between the two of them.
Childcare in the UK is eye wateringly expensive and tends to only be available 7:30am - 6pm mon-fri.

Bear in mind you'll have things like swimming lessons to fit into evening too, finding time for yourself while they're young can be a challenge.

I'm in London.

There are currently long waiting lists for all childcare options apart from babysitters.

If you don't know the babysitter make sure they have an enhanced DBS or similar paperwork to prove they don't have criminal convictions.

Just be aware that nurseries and childminders that finish at 6pm or 7.30pm expect you to arrive to pick them up. 15 minutes earlier this is because they have to do a handover to you and also don't get paid for extra time. They can and will charge you penalty fees for continually late pick ups.

My childminder is a dear though and has dealt better than me than nurseries who charge you for being late. We've not been late for nursery pick ups as we have other people who can do the pick up in an emergency.

I would also suggest both you and your husband make friends with as many people as possible around you regardless of whether they have children themselves. I've done babysitting in the past for friends and neighbours, especially those who have had emergencies. I