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Too young to be discussing boyfriends?

5 replies

MamaMoonstone · 07/05/2022 19:40

My 2.5 year old returned home to me and my partner, after spending the day at her fathers house. She was role playing her little toys and said that one of them was sad and need a mommy then said “no, needs a boyfriend”
That’s not a word I’ve ever used around her so I asked her calmly “what’s a boyfriend?”
DD didn’t come up with much, but said that Auntie P (aunt on fathers side) had asked about boyfriends.
I asked “who is a boyfriend?”
And she said my partners name, let’s call him Bernard.
I said is he? And she said yes, Bernard is my boyfriend.

I didn’t push further as I don’t ever want her to fee l like she’s getting grilled with questions when she goes from one house to the other, but later on she also said “Auntie P says boyfriends, no way!”

Theres a long history of bitterness from her dad and his side of the family, and I am assuming from this conversation that they are asking my 2.5 year old about my live in partner.

I’m uncomfortable with the idea of them grilling my girl to find out personal info about me and “Bernard”, not because I don’t want them to know (I’ve invited them to meet him before we all lived together!) but because it’s not fair on the kid. Also think that at 2.5 she’s too young to be having adults chat to her about boyfriends and girlfriends, and it’s bothering me. Before I raise it with dd’s father… Am I right? AIBU? I don’t want my judgement clouded by history so wondered what you ladies think. Thanks ✌️

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girlmom21 · 07/05/2022 19:43

So your ex-SIL has asked your DD about your boyfriend? I think that's fine.

If she's asking your DD if she has a boyfriend that'd be weird.

Arewethebadguys · 07/05/2022 19:50

girlmom21 · 07/05/2022 19:43

So your ex-SIL has asked your DD about your boyfriend? I think that's fine.

If she's asking your DD if she has a boyfriend that'd be weird.

How is this fine? It's not the ex SIL's business and a 2.5 year old shouldn't be interrogated about things happening in her mum's house.

Again, how is this fine?!

OP I wouldn't be happy with this at all

LollyLol · 07/05/2022 20:00

I agree with you OP. Do tread carefully though as little kids parrot things inaccurately. (My DC have both made very random comments like "mummy shut me in the boot of the car"; dc2 went through a phase complaining I was hitting him when I wasnt even anywhere near me... that kind of weirdness).

I might be tempted to correct this instead by saying, "silly auntie P! We like being friends with Bernard don't we. We had lots of fun at the playground yesterday and he makes really tasty pasta" (or whatever). Make a joke of it and stick with the phrase "silly Auntie P!" so your little one grows up knowing she has a habit of saying daft things best disregarded.

I wouldnt say anything to exDH

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girlmom21 · 07/05/2022 20:15

@Arewethebadguys if she asks "how's mommy and her boyfriend" that's fine. I assumed there was no malice. Of course there should be no interrogation.

dumdumduuuummmmm · 07/05/2022 20:17

I think there would be natural interest/concern about who is living with my child if my ex had a live in partner. Along the lines of 'is Bernard nice to be around?'

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