How to stop biting older sibling

[FlorrieFosdyke]

I'm in need of advice!
I have a 2 yr old DS and 5 yr old DD. DS has taken to biting, hitting and pulling hair of DD. Sometimes it's because she is teasing him and getting in his face (not ok but understandable). Other times she can be minding her own business and he will go over and hit her or hurt her. She is amazing and doesn't retaliate but I feel so sad for her. How do I stop this?

We obviously step in and prevent it if we see it's about to happen but we can't watch them constantly).

We've tried saying no, explaining it hurts, sending to room (with one of us but limited interaction in room), removing TV privileges (he doesn't watch much).

Both get 1-1 time alone.

What do we do?

Incidentally, nursery say he is very well behaved and doesn't do this to children there. He's been bitten twice by another child in the 6 months he's been there, after which the biting and hitting started at home. Coincidence? I have no concerns about how he's treated at nursery. He seems to love it.

Any advice would be appreciated.

There is little point in sending him to his room, especially if one of you goes along. There are toys and books in the room. Put him in your room and the adult present lies in the bed reading or if room is baby proof, leave him there alone. The point of separation is giving the attention to the victim. If you go with him, you miss the point.

Removing something he doesn't care much about (TV) in an uncertain future has no importance to him. Pretend to bin his favourite teddy/toy.

Tomorrow morning, tell him, "enough is enough, there will be no biting, no hitting in the house. If you do it, "teddy" goes in the bin. "

IF he does hit/bite, one of the adult, takes a clean bin bag, and puts teddy in it and bag in the trash. And then each of the person in the house continues what they were doing instead of changing all the behaviour / dynamics because of his violence.

He's 2, it's a phase. Every time it happens, you do a shocked, stern face, say "no DS, we don't bite, it hurts!" And then you take DD away from him for a cuddle and some fuss for 3min before coming back to him, resetting and going back to normal.

Read lots of books about kind hands etc.

We obviously step in and prevent it if we see it's about to happen but we can't watch them constantly).

Unfortunately, if you can't watch them constantly when they're together, then you need to separate them when you're unable to supervise until this phase passes. And it will.

This is dreadful, old-fashioned, overly punitive advice that simply won't work for a 2yr old, please ignore.

I am not British, I am from Monaco, so the French way, and it is a no-nonsense in some very specific scenarios:

• when it comes to running away in a busy street,


• removing the carseat belt


• and hitting/biting .

You might find it harsh, but a 2 years old child will get it.

A 2yr old really won't see the connection between getting overexcited and biting, and having their favourite toy thrown away. And once you've thrown the favourite toy away, what do you do the next time he bites?

OP never said anything about overexcitement , that's on another thread.

The DS goes and hits the sister in this setting "she can be minding her own business and he will go over and hit her or hurt her."

You talk to the child beforehand, in the morning, when everything is quiet and pleasant. . Saying that hitting is wrong and has to stop. If he does it today or another day, teddy will go. Then ask if he has understood.

I think the OP has talked a lot, and gone nowhere. It is unfair on the sister.

I presented the French way. The OP doesn't like, OP doesn't do it. She can pretend to bin the toy.