WFH and Baby

[milkshakeandchips5]

Hi!

I'm about to head back to work after Mat Leave. I'll be going back full time but WFH at least three days a week. My baby will be in nursery three days and at home with my parents two days.

For those who work from home with a baby or young children, do you see them during the day e.g. for lunch or a quick pop in? My days are packed but I like getting away from my desk and have the advantage of working very flexibly because I work with teams all over the world. I'd like to be able to see him during the day but also don't want to disrupt him?

What do others do?

It's certainly an interesting idea. I never would have been able to because my job was in a different town to my DCs nurseries, plus I suspect once they saw me they'd be unsettled and want to come home. If it was with grandparents though the idea of regular pop ins sounds lovely. I haven't had more than a 20 min lunch break in years though, intl hours mean lunchtime isn't really viable.

We have a 12 month old and a 5 year old - a nanny looks after them in our house 4 days per week (after school for the older one). DH and I both largely work from home. We sometimes have a play and a cuddle with the younger one over lunch, but at the moment he is still very clingy with me and cries when I hand him back over. He is completely fine after a minute or two but I don't want to cause unnecessary drama so I'm a bit reluctant to do it too often. The older one tends to come and visit me briefly when she gets home from school. It's nice to hear happy noises throughout the day and know that they're nearby.

My partner and i have both worked from home a lot whilst one or other, or another family member have cared for our children in the house. It can work really well, allowing you to enjoy them during bits of the day. However, it can also be really stressful and disruptive. Depending on exactly what's going on. Personally, I'd try not to work in the same house as them during the first weeks back so you can find your feet. But after that maybe give it a go? I try not to walk in and out as it can be really disruptive if they get upset with you leaving every time. My partner generally handles it a lot better than me. Good luck.

I think on the days you are WFH with your parents you could see how it goes. One slight word of warning though, if your baby can hear you but not actually get to you, they might be unsettled - especially when sleepy/hungry etc.
But I would definitely see if you can spend a little time with them during the day.
Don't call in at nursery though.

I used to work 4 days a week, 3 in the office and 1 from home. My DC went to nursery 3 days a week and was with a grandparent 1 day a week. I was always office based on the day grandparent had DC, as it was logistically a lot easier than doing the nursery drop off. However covid lockdown began when DC was about 20 months old and then I was WFH 4 days a week and for the first couple of months DC was with grandparent 2 days a week. We got in to a routine - grandparent would come to our house before I had to start work. I would then go upstairs to work, grandparent and DC would stay downstairs. If there was any major issue, or she did a poo, if I was free I would pop down for that hah. I'd then come down for my lunch hour, we'd all have lunch together, and I'd put DC down in her room for nap after. Grandparent would have a rest whilst I worked. I'd get her up when she woke and then grandparent would take DC round to their house for the last few hours of the day. DH would then pick DC up from grandparents' house on his drive home from work. It was quite nice and I liked that I got to see more of DC and grandparent.

When mine were little and I was WFH they were in childcare elsewhere. I don't think it would have worked well if they knew I was around.

Do you mean your parents are looking after him at your home? Tbh I think it would be better if they could look after him at their home if possible. Or have him at your house on the days you’re in the office.
As others have said, it’s very unsettling if he knows you’re there but can’t get to you.

Also could be unsettling if you pop in for a bit and then have to go again.

Thanks all!

My mum lives a couple of hours away but is staying with us to help out every week at least to begin with so unfortunately not possible for us to be at separate houses. I was thinking of working as far away as possible (I'll be in the loft room which is relatively well insulated and as far away from his nursery as possible).

I think the idea of giving him some time to get used to the new normal before being around is a good idea. It would be lovely for me to see him but I obviously don't want to make life more difficult for my mum or cause him stress when I disappear again. And I definitely won't be popping in to nursery, don't worry!

It's all a bit of a minefield. Reconciling the half of me who wants to stay home with the half of me that wants to work is so much harder than I anticipated! I'm hoping the idea is harder than the reality.

I definitely found the idea harder than the reality. Hope it’s the same for you OP.
For me it’s very much out of sight, out of mind, so when I’m at work in all honesty I just get on with work and don’t miss my DS like I thought I would! (I’ve been back 6 weeks now). And then it’s lovely seeing him at the end of the day.

My boy (now 20mo) is very clingy and if he knew I was in the house he would be banging down the office door so it wouldn't be possible for us.

When I first went back to work I would see DD every lunchtime as I was wfh. It was quite nice, we’d have a little cuddle and a breastfeed (she wasn’t great with food at that point)

once she would eat more reliably we swapped to MIL having her at her rather than ours

i have a 15mo and my parents come to look after her a day a week while I work from
home. I am so grateful for this set up (she’s at nursery 3 other days and I have another day off with her) as it means I can pop down and see her when I’m making a drink and spend lunch with them all. The first few weeks she kicked off a bit when I left but she has quickly got used to it. I won’t lie it can be a bit distracting compared with the nursery days but i just plan anything important meeting-wise for the days she isn’t at home and make the most of getting to see her while I can

I work at a school 3 days pw but my dh wfh everyday. On my days off he always gives dd breakfast before work, has lunch with us, and even helps with the occasional nappy. Dd quickly became used to the idea of not disturbing dh when he's "in the office" - just a tiny room in the house - even though we pass his door all the time. I got him a In a Meeting door sign so I know if I can ask for help or not. She doesn't get too upset when he has to go back to work after lunch, and now she can say a few words she'll say "bye bye Daddy" or even "poor Daddy work work work" which is a phrase I always say lol

I appreciate it's slightly different as you're the primary carer. But my dh and I are nearly equal parents as he took 6m of paternity leave with me, so I expected the wfh to be much worse but it was really fine

I WFH some days and he goes to a childminder on those days so I don't see him until I've finished. Occasionally I'll be WFH the one day my mum watches him at our house too though and it has made him quite grumpy. He wants to be in with me but can't as I'm trying to work then gets upset for my mum. I'm hiding upstairs next time!

I have found it impossible to WFH when DD was there - partly me, partly her. I found it impossible to ignore her crying and also if i heard her laughing i just wanted to go and join in! And also if she saw me she wanted me.
I just couldnt concentrate or get anything done.
I promise you, they will be fine at childcare and i would worry about it unsettling them seeing you come and go.
Enjoy your time alone! I love the bones off my DD but god if I dont launch her through the nursery doors when shes been away from nursery!