Potty training - 3yo - SEN

[HSKAT]

Hey

Just after some advise please.

My son is currently on the pathway for an autism diagnosis.

Following a meeting with his nursery and HV this week they were asking about potty training etc.

He hasn't shown much of an interest but the past couple of weeks he has told me when he was having a poo.
I've asked him if he wants to sit on the potty and he shouts no.
Obv can't/dont what to force him but I feel this is a little step in the right direction.

Is it best to skip the potty and straight to the toilet?
He does have understanding of things but not when it comes to wee's etc.

If we have his nappy off him for one reason or another he will wee in the floor and say oh oh. But recognising he needs to go doesn't seem to be there if that makes sense!

I thought will I just stay home over the weekend, bare bum and ask him repeatedly but I also don't want to upset him so he doesn't want to at all.

Any helpful advise would be appreciated! X

3.5 yo

No advice but following, our 4yo is also being assessed for sen. Doesn't tell us if he needs toilet, speech delay also. We've had mixed success with potty and very little on toilet. Found it's hard to offer rewards as he doesn't understand that if you do this then you'll get that
He used to wee on floor and say potty to himself I frustration and now we have one in easy access downstairs and he's eventually started using it

Autism can include sensory issues, with interception being a key one for potty training. Put in simple terms the brain doesn't always recognise the signals the body is sending for things like needing the toilet, thirst, hunger, temperature etc. We had to delay toilet training until 4.5 when the signals were starting to get through and even then it was a case of lots of accidents, but thankfully wetting not soiling by then. Routine helped a lot at school and at around 8 the recognition of the signals started to be much better. Please don't stress, do it in a timing that works for you both and ignore what other kids are doing. I'm glad we stopped stressing and delayed as freaking with pooey pants every day was getting too much. You will get there x

Dealing not freaking!

Yes my little boy doesn't understand rewards either so that wouldn't work for us.
Did he start going to it himself so to speak?

And 4 not 4.5 with months of saying at 4 he would wear pants as emotional preparation which seemed to help as he really hadn't wanted to due to it really not working well the other times we tried

Yes this makes sense.

Do you know what it is that got me thinking about it also, we have recently been to a nursery friends party and they were all going to the toilet and we had to go off to baby changing.
Just little things like that make me abit sad.
Not sad for me but for him if that makes sense?
So yes I need to stop comparing.

I totally get that x

I had so many people saying about sticker charts, a sweet if he sat on the potty or did a wee, not to quit, my child would get there and i would put him back or give him the wrong message etc. I felt like a failing parent but my gut did deep down he wasn't ready. When i found out about interception everything made sense. Giving a reward wouldn't help if his brain wasn't making sense of the signals, it wasn't about willingness or training but about waiting for his development to get to that point. Now nobody discusses what age their kid used the potty and i wonder why it was such a huge thing or why on earth anyone would decide it could measure parenting capacity 😂

DS was non verbal and we managed to potty train just after 3y - the first time didn’t go well kept wetting self so gave up after 2 days - month later when weather better bought several basic potties for garden and let him play and run around nappy less . He wouldn’t have understand rewards or bribes but we just clapped and cheered every time and he enjoyed it ( often when he started to wee we would run with potty to him or carry him to potty. It took a week but he got it - only 5y but never had wee accidents - took longer to get hang of poos and we ended up buying cheap pants and binning but we got there. He loves pirate Pete potty for pressing the button but wasn’t interested in story but we still talked about it. The Eric website gave few ideas too.

it was a challenge but I think you get the vibe whether to abandon and try a month or two later or to persevere.

good luck and don’t put too much stress on you x

@Pixie2015 thank you!
I like the garden and potties around, good idea for the summer.
I'll check out the Eric website