Teaching your child about sex.

[PaddlingLikeADuck]

I have an 8 year old who I’m considering talking to about how babies are made.

He knows about periods and that women have a “special room” in their body where there are eggs and it’s where the babies grow before being cut out of the mummy’s stomach. Both he and my second son were born by c/section so it’s all he knows about from experience. However, we have watched videos of kittens and some farm animals being born, so he is aware there is “another way” but again he’s never asked me about it either during the video clip or after it.

He’s obviously aware that boys and girls have different genitals and has occasionally asked me why I don’t have a penis or testicles but that’s as far as his interest goes.

And although he is aware of babies being in their mother’s tummy he has never asked me how the babies get in there in the first place. He understands why women have breasts and men don’t, but he has never asked me why he has testicles for example, and what they do.

I’m at the point now where I feel he’s ready to know the facts about how babies are conceived and born, in an age appropriate manner, but my friend says that I shouldn’t discuss it until he starts asking more questions about it as that will prove that developmentally/educationally he’s ready to learn about it,

I can sort of see her point but at the same time I feel like he’s of an age now where he needs to start understanding the concept of how babies are conceived.

How have other parents navigated this?

School will cover it in the summer term of year 5 so a chat before then is good.

I waited until my daughter asked questions. I've always just answered them as she asked them and responded immediately with a pre considered response. She was 9 when she started asking questions and I gave her the basic science. She was just turned 10 when she asked how and I gave her the mechanics. Tbh I wanted it to be in her time and sparked by her interest. For me, it felt that doing it this way would help her feel that mummy answers my questions when I ask them and we have an open and honest relationship at ease. My own mother sat me down one day to have "the chat" and it was very forced and I was very uncomfortable. You know your DS best though and what sort of relationship you have.

We always answered questions in a straightforward matter of fact way, using the "real"/scientific words for things. Mine are older now and I am glad we were always open and answered their questions honestly.

I don't understand the thinking that says that talking about sex will "sexualize" children. They will learn about it anyway - either from uninformed kids at school, porn, or someone's older sibling - I'd rather they learn it from me!

Also, someone told me that when you start talking to kids about it at a young age, there is no "ick" response from them, or a shame/embarrassment response, it's just information to them. That was definitely the case for us.

Surprised no-one else is responding to this. It's an important topic IMO! Good luck.

Better to hear it from you than in the playground.

Like for example, he and his brother frequently fiddle with their penis like most other boys I imagine and occasionally they get erections but they never ask me why their penis goes hard?! I always think to myself, “Come on, ask me why that’s happened” but they never do.

I’d want to know :)

I'm not sure I'd agree with the "wait until they ask" philosophy in all cases, mostly because I don't remember asking when I was a kid, and neither do my parents! I don't think they ever gave me the talk themselves - they didn't think I was interested, and then school covered it (badly). I wouldn't recommend this approach.

Perhaps try to steer a conversation that way, even if you have to say "have you ever wondered why that happens / why you have those?" etc.