How to address this??

[jode19]

So my son recently said really loud "is that a boy or a girl" and I couldn't really think of a response! I told him not to ask because it could be offensive but after thinking it, he's got every right to be curious!

How would you respond to questions like this? Thanks

While pointing at another child?

If they were in earshot Id have glossed over it and changed the subject.

If not, I would have had a chat about what they though, and why.

Hello, no it was whilst we was on a bus and maybe a none binary person walked past. I could neither tell myself if they was female or male and I know there was an appropriate answer but I just got worried and told him to shhh. I didn't want to offend them.

How would you feel if someone made loud comments about you as you were going about your business?

Tell dc to learn some manners.

Reappraise your view that he has every right to be curious. He doesn’t.

Completely disagree, he's 6 and he's curious.

It's fine to be curious. It's not fine to be rude. And at 6 he's old enough to learn about manners when talking about other people.

I really don't find what he said to be rude? He asked a question because he's curious.

I'd have just said I don't know 🤷‍♀️
Could be either, doesn't matter.

Reply. "Does it matter?" (It doesn't)

Answer honestly. Tel him you don't know, (if you don't) and explain that sometimes it's hard to tell because people can dress how they want and look however they like. Tell him it's better to ask 'How do you like to be known?' rather than, 'What are you?'
This is polite, whether you agree with it or not.

I tell my kids not to talk about people, can’t believe you would just sit there loudly talking about someone I think that’s very rude.

Thankyou for your reply :)

Oh I was assuming a toddler. At 6 I would deff also have a conversation about not making personal comments. Curiosity is great, but there's a time and a place.

Where did I say we sat and spoke about this person? He asked and I told him not to ask because it could offend/upset said person if they heard him.

You are getting a hard time here! A 6yo made a comment and the OP wasn't sure how to reply. Yes there can be a conversation later about not pointing and commenting in front of people. I once had a child at work ask me 'how many babies are in her tummy?' when I knew the answer was none!

You've had some practical responses if it comes up again and I have read with interest as I would have struggled to know how to respond in the moment.

"I don't know" is a perfectly valid answer...not offensive surely, even if they heard? In this day and age...

Oh for goodness sake, all children say inappropriate things. My son, was always asking embarrassing questions like why has that man only got one leg to why is that woman so fat (she was pregnant). This is not being rude, they are curious and why would you want to stifle their questions?

It's a bit daft to say, "at 6 a child should know that is rude!" (or similar comments). There is a huge variety of levels of maturity, awareness etc ar age 6. Some children might be academic and 'bright' but less aware of some social norms. The spectrum of knowledge, life experience and social awareness is vast. They are still learning.
OP was asking for advice on how to do the right thing, which is a sensible parenting move, so why give her a hard time?

At 6, they’re just learning and discovering gender roles… perfectly normal to be curious and ask. I’d have responded by leaning into the curiosity and maybe saying “what makes you ask that?”. Depending on how they answer you can ask about what’s the difference between girls and boys, whether it matters, what they think makes them a girl or boy, and how to ask politely (like @inappropriateraspberry said)