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Parenting

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Co-parenting- it's a long one

3 replies

mamapart · 02/05/2022 19:33

Back story- my ex was abusive, left him after a big event, his parents basically got me to drop charges, but left him, all the more. This is 2.5 years ago. Fast forward we have a 5 year old, getting assessed for ADHD,- very apparent signs and struggles& family history.

Me and her dad have never been on amazing terms, he wasn't able to see her alone at first after the incident, had never been consistent until fairly recently with money or visits. Now he pays abs sees her twice a month he thinks he's gods gift.
He's a raising a child with a woman who's no biologically his, this child and the woman were moved in very quick , into my child's life and her dads home, when the baby was 6 months old ( now 9 months) .

Me and his gf don't get along the best, my daughter said she's always on her phone doesn't pay attention to her and her dad is always to busy or has a bad back to play with her. He comes back upset, has made comments about him loving the other child more, and feeling upset, comes back with matted hair and clothes to small from his house and sometimes even grubby. No matter how many times I bring up these concerns about my child he doesn't care .

Just recently he was meant to pick up my child whilst I go hopistal. He said he can't as he had to go shops, I mentioned his gf is just sitting at home- her child was not there- she can go whilst you pick up your child? Along with a couple of similar comments, never rude. I've just had a discussion with him via ft as my child is I'll and his making minimal effort and I said you need to make more effort and if ur gfs living there she. Needs to be a good person and good role model to my child, she then starts screaming at me and going mad. He hangs up and his only response is a message sticking up for her saying he amazing his gf is. I'm so done. What advice can you give?

OP posts:
mamapart · 02/05/2022 19:35

Just to add he wants to take her to Spain for 10 days, meaning missing her first few days of school in a new year ( September). She's never been away from me for more than 3 nights, when she was younger.

OP posts:
Steelesauce · 02/05/2022 19:49

I think you are deflecting his shitty behaviour onto the girlfriend. She can sit on her phone as much as she likes around your child, it isn't her job to be entertaining her.

If you have concerns about the care she is receiving then you take it to court, or stop contact and let him take it to court.

mamapart · 02/05/2022 20:13

I would really prefer to keep it private and not take it to court.

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