I have a ds who is almost 4. We left his abusive father 2 years ago and things have been great since then. He no longer sees his father and up until now I have felt surprised about how easy he is. He is kind, helpful, funny and we very rarely have any behaviour issues. He and I were living in my house. I wanted to move near other family before he started school. I sold the house and everyone told me to complete and live with my mum as I would be a sellers dream. Note that my mum was more than happy with this and I am paying her rent, bills, food plus storage fees
The market has been awful and I haven't been successful buying anything or even renting.
So not to drip feed my mum is lovely but it has become apparent she is very anxious and has several unwritten rules to control this anxiety. She is entitled to these as its her house but it makes things really hard as I feel I am constantly in the wrong. Things like not unstacking the dishwasher in her preferred way, having to change sheets on a set time and day regardless of plans.
I completely appreciate it must be unsettling for my ds and nanny remarks he isn't as affectionate to her in the way he was when we just visit. He often asks to go back to our home not nannies. She is kind but just very particular which is hard for a 3 year old.
Recently, particularly at teethbrushing time but at other times too he has hit me because he doesn't want to brush his teeth or leave the park. Time out doesn't seem to work and he doesn't care if you take away privileges. He also gets himself so upset at being unkind afterwards.
He did tell me that a boy at nursery is hitting him so I will speak to them tomorrow but my questions are (if you are still reading) how should I deal with the hitting in the home and if we are out. Secondly is it due to this other boy hitting him, the stress of being not in a stable house and the rules here or him just his age. The hitting is quite triggering for me due to dv and although I manage to not show it in front of him I always go and cry. This is the first time I have had to deal with any real behaviour issues. I am trying so hard to find us a house so we can have all our things out of storage but I feel like I have ruined his life.
Thanks for reading