Do you sanitise your baby's hands?

[Flora1985]

Hi everyone,

This might seem like a very strange question to many, but as an emetophobic new mum it's a question I'm genuinely interested in hearing multiple answers to, since I'm not sure I can form an objective opinion given my phobia. Basically I want to do whatever is 'normal' / average when it comes to hand hygiene for my 8-month old DD; I want to ensure I strike the right balance between being clean enough to protect her from nasty illnesses but also enable her to build up her immune system by not being too clean.

For those who don't know, emetophobia is a severe phobia of vomiting, which for many sufferers (myself included) can manifest in excessive handwashing, hand sanitising and general cleanliness with the aim of avoiding picking up vomiting viruses and stomach bugs. I've only vomited once (when I was 6) and have reached the age of 36 without picking up a stomach bug (so far...just a matter of time now I have a DD!) despite living my life fully - I've been very lucky to travel a lot, I eat out more often than I should, I spent 10+ years commuting daily on the London underground, etc etc. So, the hand hygiene I practised for many years pre-baby (washing or sanitising hands after touching any public surface/handle/touchpoint, etc. especially before eating or touching my mouth) has worked for me in terms of preventing any stomach bugs! However, I'm fully aware that I no longer have this level of control over whether or not stomach bugs enter my life now I have a DD, and nor should I - I know kids get ill all the time and that they need to be free to explore the world and build up an immune system, so I'm working hard in therapy to try to reduce the terror I have around vomit and the impact this phobia has on my life for the benefit of my daughter.

So, with this context in mind, I find it very hard to know what is 'normal' / average behaviour when it comes to cleaning babies' hands when out and about. So far I think I've been so conscious of not wanting my phobia to affect my DD that I think I've swung too far the other way - I've never sanitised my daughter's hands or even wiped them with wet wipes while out and about; she just has a bath in the evening and that's it. But friends of mine who are definitely not emetophobic or germphobic seem to do more than this (some of them use the vital baby sanitiser, some use wipes) and their kids get ill far less frequently than my DD does (poor thing has been ill quite a lot recently) so I feel like I probably need to do a bit more to clean her hands when we're out and about to ensure she's not ill constantly, but obvs I don't want to go overboard and sanitise her hands as much as I would my own in my pre-baby life...

What do other mumsnet mums do? Do you ever sanitise your baby's hands? If so, when, and with what? How young - is 8 months too young for hand sanitising? Is it just a chaotic free for all out there with babies putting grubby hands in their mouths left, right and centre and everyone's cool with that? Genuinely no idea! :-)

Interested to know what you do so I can try to find the right balance...thanks!

A wet cloth or baby wipe should be sufficient
I never used sanitising gel or antibacterial wipes on them

I only ever used a wet flannel or a wet wipe.

You have my sympathy, this must be really hard. I clean our 8 month olds hands before and after she eats, and in the morning and at bedtime. Otherwise I just let her get on with it unless they are particularly grubby!

Ditto others I use a flannel, wouldn't use sanitiser

Never crossed my mind to sanitise my babies hands. Wet wipe or run under the tap if really grubby, but mainly they just get a wash in the bath at night

I would wet wipe my kids hands if they were actuay dirty, but I would never use hand sanitiser, it would be awful on their delicate skin. And babies are supposed to get some germs anyway, it's how they build up their immunity. It sounds like you are doing a good job, she probably will vomit at some point and you will have to deal with that, but overall just keep doing what you are doing.

Mine aren’t babies anymore but I never sanitised their hands. If they were dirty because of eating or a visit to soft play I’d wash them but didn’t do anything other than that. They have picked up bugs but that’s pretty normal and you can’t avoid life. What was your mums attitude to hand washing etc?

Hand sanitiser won’t kill most stomach bugs anyway.

Wet wipes or a wash in the bath with bubble bath is more than enough. And keep their nails short.

Never sanitised my babies' hands. Have 3 DC now and only once did DD1 have a sickness bug. They've had all the usually coughs and colds though of course.
I wash their hands and face in the morning when I get them dressed (now ages 6, 4 and 3mo), then with regards just to the baby stage (as older children wash their own hands with bar soap and water) I'd say I wipe them with a wet flannel or stick them under the tap and clumsily rub a bit of washing up liquid over them after each meal and if they stick their hands on their bits while in changing their nappy. Also if they're obviously muddy/sticky/grimy.

To put a number on it let's say soap and water 6 times a day. Including their wash first thing and bath.

Hope that helps. Good on you for tackling your phobia so rationally.

I've never sanitised my childrens hands. They have rarely picked up a stomach bug. As someone who has an emetaphobe in the family I am strongly advising you look for serious therapy. Apparently Thrivw works well for emetaphobes. You probably haven't realised how much it effects your life as you will have built in coping strategies however as soon as your child starts nursery/school those strategies will probably not be enough. My cousins child has chapped and bleeding hands from being made to wash them constantly. It will effects your friends and family in far reaching ways you won't even notice.

**thrive

I wipe hands with flannel or wet wipe before eating if they look dirty or if we've been somewhere like soft play. Day to day, I don't clean every time before food but will afterwards.

My LO finger sucks when hungry or tired and everything gets licked or explored by mouth - makes doing too much pointless!

Before eating, after the loo (once shes old enough to use it, bathtime!
Of course, if they're noticeably grubby, a quick wash under the tab or with a normal wet wipe will suffice.
Good luck with your phobia beating, you've got this

Don't. Children need dirt and germs to build their immune system.

I have a 12 month old. I wash her hands with soap and water a few times a day: when we get home from a baby activity (she's crawling so would have had her hands on the floor), before a meal and after a meal (as her hands are invariably covered in food. If I'm out of the house ). I never use hand sanitiser on her hands.

Nope. Just a wipe if needed and wash them with gentle soap in the bath at night. DC never has stomach bugs.

Hi OP

This probably isn’t very helpful, but when you say:

So, the hand hygiene I practised for many years pre-baby (washing or sanitising hands after touching any public surface/handle/touchpoint, etc. especially before eating or touching my mouth) has worked for me in terms of preventing any stomach bugs!

I just wanted to point out that you don’t know that your hand washing is the reason you’ve never had a stomach bug. I expect quite a lot of people in their mid thirties haven’t ever had a vomiting bug and many of them will have very grubby hands! I think it’s just important to remember that, because otherwise you are using evidence to justify your own behaviours which isn’t actually real.

And in answer to your question, I have an 8 month old and I wipe his hands with a water wipe when they are visibly dirty - that’s it really! And I wash my own hands a lot and am definitely more of a clean freak than your average person.

I never sanitised my first son's hands but have found that Milton do a sanitising foam for babies over 3 months so I do put it on my youngest occasionally (when we've been at a party and lots of people have touched her hands, when my DS thought it was fun to put her fingers up his nose, etc). With 4yo DS we wash hands whenever we get home, after toilet and before food. We use sanitiser on him when out before eating or after using public toilets. I know exactly how you feel as I've suffered from OCD in the past with germ phobia so I'm always trying to make sure I'm being reasonable with it. My DH agrees with our 'rules' and think we've hit a happy middle ground!

Im similar to you OP - ocd diagnosed about germs and wash my hands lots. Did not want to pass this on to my DCs so really have gone the other way with him, to help immunity and also not let them grow up with it as a worry. Elder DS is 4 now, and as a baby I’d give his hands a quick wipe if visibly dirty or a wash if baking / been in the garden / messy play and after the loo. I’ve occasionally used hand gel when out but only for things like he’s put his hand in bird poo and there’s not been anywhere to wash them. He’s had one stomach bug which was caught from nursery but otherwise fine.

Younger DS2 is the same and also fine. We have dogs, the kids play all over the floor, all over play equipment in the park etc. My only ick is soft play

Ove always clramed them well woth a wet wipe before they were allowed to eat anythin. Always gave tjem a similar goox wipe over if they'd beem floor ctawling not at home wjete i didnt k ow how coean the fllor wad and shoes wrre heing traipefs through. At hope ypuld just give them a run underthe tap when tjey stoped creaeling,amd moved onto a play mat chair etc. Essentially hand washing or cleaning for eating ot chamge of activityor publuc placr to home. Its sctually exactly the same principle as most adilts i know follow (slthpugh we dont crawl on too mamy gllors generally! )
Ypu clean your hands when you enter the house, if you touch dirty public transport surfaces etc, before ptepping food amd esting.the samr appy..childten toch thr firty floor mote snd put thrur hanfs jn their mouths mote so id just wipe sightly more ot ensure they only crawl on a flooe ehich diesnt get used for shoes.i cidentally nine ofmine wereill ad ypung chokdtem .must have helpef. Was maybe 6 handwipes a day?

I carry cloth wipes with some baby soap on them, and then when out I wet them and wash my childrens hands.

hand sanitizer is too strong for their skin, especially if you’re planning to do it regularly.

have you sought support for your phobia? Parenting can stir up these things. Take care of yourself

Thanks so much everyone, this is incredibly helpful 'real world' intel. Thanks for sharing what you do/did. It seems sanitising babies' hands isn't really something parents do (at least until they're nearer school age / in emergency situations!) so I'll be leaving the Milton foam in the cupboard for now and continuing to work on my phobia. Based on all your responses I think I'll aim to carry on pretty much as I am - wiping DD's hands with a wipe or flannel before and after food, along with a bath at bedtime, but other than that trying to live with the uncertainty.

It's really interesting that you all say your DCs very rarely got stomach bugs. That's kind of the opposite to what I hear friends and neighbours say ("just wait until she goes to nursery/school, it's carnage, they're ill constantly, several stomach bugs a year, get the waterproof cot sheets ready" etc etc 😱) but it's very reassuring to read...hopefully I'll be lucky and DD will have a similarly strong constitution as your DCs! Hard to imagine right now though when neighbours' kids, nephew and friend's kid all have stomach bugs...again!

Thanks also for the supportive messages as I continue to work on tackling my phobia - much appreciated 😊

I just wash them in the bath and give them a wipe morning, bedtime and after eating or getting messy. She puts so much stuff in her mouth I doubt washing her hands would make a difference to how often she gets I'll. She's almost 1 and she's never had a stomach bug. My older daughter is 7 and has only had 3 stomach bugs, two of which were pretty minor but she had lots of other illnesses as a toddler; bronchiolitis, croup etc. We've only ever caught colds from her but not every one she has - we've got stronger immune systems and better hygiene awareness than a child. I'm emetaphobic too - it's horrible.

No. Alcohol sanitisers are really, really dangerous for a young baby that is likely to suck their hands. Methanol toxicity is a thing.

Personally, I've got a bit of a thing about hand sanitiser and DC as in the two shall never meet 😂 When DC was born my Mum put the fear of god into me saying that hand sanitiser is poisonous to babies and young children. I looked into it and if they were to drink it, it would be poisonous but I've still got it in my head that with all the hand sucking wee ones do hand sanitiser is a no for me. Plus, I hate how much it dries my skin out, so wouldn't want to use it on DC even just for that reason.

We do baby soap and water after food (always forget about before) and if DCs been patting any animals/muddy etc. It is hard to find a balance of not too clean not too dirty!