dd now 3 panics without a nappy on

[lilmissmummy]

DD is 3 and I can not potty train her- she is a very stubborn child and I have now got to the point where I am sure she doess it to annoy me.

She refuses point blankly to sit on the potty- she can not be blackmailed, talked into it, threaterned... nothing works.

If you take a nappy off of her she throws an absolute fit and follows me around screaming (like in the exorcist) "give me a nappy now mummy!!! I said now!!!"

I potty trained DS now 6 with no problems at all but she just will not do it!!! I have been trying with DD for a year on and off. Has anyone had the same problems trying to potty train a willful child?

I have tried books and bribery and DVD's and now I have run out of inspiration!!

Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't think you can force the issue, she'll come around in her own time. 3 is still quite young, and I know of lots of children who are still in nappies full time at that age. What sort of nappies do you use? I've always used terry nappies. Some children wearing a terry nappy are much more aware or uncomfortable when they are wet or dirty, as opposed to a disp, and will tell you they want to be changed or use the potty. Perhaps if you try terries your DD will realise sitting on the potty is the better option!

I used terry nappys when she was younger and havent used them for a while due to DD having a milk allergy however I will definately have a go! Thanks

Good luck with the terry nappies. I'm interested in the relationship between terry nappies and your DDs milk allergy. Could you explain it a bit more please, because I'm allergic to milk and other dairy products, although this does not seem to affect my DS.

I think the terry nappy suggestion is a good idea. My DD hates having a wet or dirty bottom, and will now tell me when she wants her nappy changed. She is obviously more concious of having filled her terry nappy, which is a feeling she does'nt get with a disp. nappy. So she should potty train earlier.

I dont have a milk allergy, DD has and when she has milk she has a very sore and upset tummy- I was advised by the pediatrician to use disposible nappies to make her more comfortable (she is more prone to nappy rash) however I keep her completely milk free now so it shouldnt be an issue.

thank you for the tips I will let you know how I get on!

lilmissmummy, FWIW ds3 in cloth got far fewer nappy rashes than ds1 or ds2 in disposables. So shouldn't adversely affect your dd.
BTW ds1 was very like your dd, simply couldn't care less about being trained. ds2 was very easy but ds3 looks to be quite stubborn but will sit on the potty when he wants to. He is just 3.

i do know of a toddler who was the smallest in the family and was also very bright.

because NO-ONE else was going on the potty, she wouldn't. it was just too embarrassing/humiliating/exposing/wierd, i think.

they had to wait till she could use the loo, and when she could, she was happy to do it. 'toilet trained' immediately.

she was aware of when she needed to go - but she wouldn't tell her mum in case she took her nappy off and put her on the potty.

they stopped stressing when they understood that she didn't want to be exposed on a potty.
?

I make toilet training a game, a laugh something that might have scary moments but it also an experience to enjoy. My recommendation is stop any idea or action of training for abit, she could be reactionary because it has not worked for a year and she is really anti and unsure now.

Then start in the summer, buy her some pretty knickers might help - let her wear them over the nappy and without nappy...

good luck

ooh, I like the idea of wearing the knickers over the nappy...i think that's really innovative to make the change less of an obvious one. i might use that when dd gets into it all

Yes that sounds like a fantastic idea- I wonder if half of the problem is that I am getting worked up so she is also getting worked up!

We are having this with my 3 year old ds too right now we have been training for 2 mths - well not the fear, but the stubborn refusal to use the potty/toilet. It has made me question whether waiting this long was the right idea (I listened to lots of advice about 2.3 -3 yo's learning faster because they could understand what was being asked of them) I have tried to make it fun - this worked for 2 days and then he got bored and I had weeks of trying to make it fun whilst he resisted. I also tried to make him feel "grown up" and to take him whenever I go and whenever dh goes to let him see it's normal. That worked for a while too and he started to ask to go to the potty but just as I was starting to trust that he had got the hang of it he reverted to peeing in his trousers if it interrupted his play.

Then, I bribed him (yes desperation was kicking in) with treats. That worked but only because he wanted a chocolate (it was bad for his teeth and he kept just doing a trickle and then asking for his chocolate)

FINALLY I stopped asking and started just taking him every couple of hours and putting him on the toilet. So far, he has been dry with this method, BUT, tbh, I could have done this approach 2 years ago and yielded the same results - without any verbal debate.

If I have any more children I will be potty training at 18 months and if it takes 2 -3 mths or more I can just remember that it took mths with my 3 year old and cost me an extra 1.5 years of nappies. So if there are any wise old sages with VERY wilful 3 yo's out there who can tell me what I OUGHT to do, please feel free.

I potty trained dd1 at 2.5years and she didn't want to sit on the potty, it took three days of wet/dirty knickers then day 3 she had no knickers on and pooed in the living room and although it wasn't nice to clean up it also wasn't nice for her to have going down her leg so the following day she sat on the potty! we still had wee accidents for a couple of months but all poos were in the toilet or potty.

This is all interesting as I have a nearly 3 yo ds who flatly refuses to use a toilet, potty or even consider wearing 'big boy pants' I've tried all the usual treats/bribes/threats but nothing is working. I;m slightly desperate as he starts nursery after easter and he needs to be dry for this. DS1 was no problem, he kind of did it by himself.
I did use terry nappies, but we went away a couple of months ago and he wore disposables while we were away and these are a no no now too. Help!!!

This is all interesting as I have a nearly 3 yo ds who flatly refuses to use a toilet, potty or even consider wearing 'big boy pants' I've tried all the usual treats/bribes/threats but nothing is working. I;m slightly desperate as he starts nursery after easter and he needs to be dry for this. DS1 was no problem, he kind of did it by himself.
I did use terry nappies, but we went away a couple of months ago and he wore disposables while we were away and these are a no no now too. Help!!!

anyone????

Hi bobblebhat, as you can tell I am not really the right person to comment given my difficulties with ds, but could you try letting ds just go naked for a day or two (turn the heat up, put on socks and a jumper, but naked from the waist down?

We are on day 3 with DS1 who is 3 in Feb and preschool from his birthday on. He also has control and knows what to do, but WON'T sit on the potty or toilet even though we've invested massively in seats and fancy pots and so on that he chose (we have 3 potties and 3 toilet seats - only 2 loos!).

I am going with just pants and socks and lots of jumpers with tons of heating approach right now. And I make sure the potty he chose is near him all the time.

I have no idea if this will work...

He's quite keen on pants (he and daddy are pant buddies) but the actual toilet devices seem to be out of favour. Watch this space.

How are you guys going witht he potty training now?

We are back in nappies again! DD is just not interested and after speaking to the pre-school they suggest to wait for the summer when she is playing in paddling pools and then put her on the potty every half an hour- then if she has an accident it is outside and not making a mess but she wont see it as such a bad idea!

What do you reckon?

Hello, I'm a bit of a lurker on mn and when I do occasionally post I tend to kill threads - thourght my magic was working again!

I work on mon and tues and also ds2 has been ill so haven't done anything else. I know he'll love nursery so I'm thinking of taking him and showing how good it is to give him an incentive - I know he knows when he does anything cos he tells me, so he just needs a gentle shove in the right direction!

Your summer suggestion sounds fab - a friend of mine is italian and they were still living over there when their dd was toilet training, and that's what they did. She just spent a summer in the nude and eventually she did it herself.

I don't know - you have one child and think you know what you're doing, number 2 comes and shows you actually you know nothing!

Hello, I'm a bit of a lurker on mn and when I do occasionally post I tend to kill threads - thourght my magic was working again!

I work on mon and tues and also ds2 has been ill so haven't done anything else. I know he'll love nursery so I'm thinking of taking him and showing how good it is to give him an incentive - I know he knows when he does anything cos he tells me, so he just needs a gentle shove in the right direction!

Your summer suggestion sounds fab - a friend of mine is italian and they were still living over there when their dd was toilet training, and that's what they did. She just spent a summer in the nude and eventually she did it herself.

I don't know - you have one child and think you know what you're doing, number 2 comes and shows you actually you know nothing!

Double post again...ahhhgggg

Bobblehat- I know the feeling I am always killing off threads although I think it is mainly because I come in at the end of conversations and then everyone has run out of what to say!!

I tell you what if I'd of had child number 2 first then I would never have had a second child because she is an absolute nightmare!!!!