Soooo done with breastfeeding- how to stop??

[LadyIzzy]

My DD will be two in a few weeks and she’s still breastfeeding and I’m at the end of my tether with it! I know she only does it for comfort or when she’s sleepy or throughout the night (still cosleeping - also want to stop!), I’ve tried ‘don’t offer, don’t refuse’ but it just doesn’t seem to be reducing at all! Any time I sit on the sofa she’s on me, pulling at my top and screams if I say no. I’ll stand up and distract her but it doesn’t last long. When she does feed it’s for literacy 30 seconds and she’s off so I know she’s not hungry. She eats well most of the time, although is going through a more fussy phase at the moment. I’m out of ideas!

Go on a girls trip, a long weekend away with your friends. By the time you get back, she will be out of the habit.

My DS is about to turn 2. I still feed him last thing at night, first thing in the morning. Will also if he's upset, but he doesn't ask for it.

I also co-slept, and still am. A couple of months ago, I started saying no during the night. Took a few nights to get used to it - I'd offer water. He was OUTRAGED, as you'd imagine, but I was still happy to co-sleep, just not feed all night.

I still co-sleep. He goes in his own cot until he wakes up, then in with us. For a bit, he'd come in and make a fuss about wanting milk. Now he just comes in and drops off no problem. Wakes for water in the night, but isn't a problem and sleeps well. (Likes to sleep with arms literally round my neck - need to work on that one...).

If you want to carry on bf at all, I've found this a really great way to do it.

There is a book called "Nursies when the Sun Shines" which is a night weaning story good for children of around that age. Helps introduce the concept of not feeding overnight....

It is a very good question though, and one I'm grappling with myself. There is so much out there to help you get going, and none at all about stopping (is my experience).

I stopped feeding my nearly two year old this month and just like you I was soooo done I started by reading a book about stopping BF (there's a few on Amazon) for a few weeks, then I just started saying no at night for any waking before 4am (after 4am I would feed her back to sleep so I could sleep more!) and would cuddle instead and was shocked when actually after a minute or two of whingey moaning she fell back asleep on me. Then I said no at all night wakings, and she was fine. Then I stopped the bedtime feed and offered her a bottle of milk instead which I was surprised she actually took as she never had before. Once she had done 24 hours without a feed I just pushed on, and actually she was fine. She asked a few times but didn't get too upset when I said it was all gone! Good luck OP. I really thought I would have a screaming nightmare on my hands but she was absolutely fine.

Oh and mine was the same in terms of trying to feed loads in the day. When I started stopping I just said no, offered a cuddle or a distraction and then walked away if she kicked off. Within two days she was no longer asking in the day.

At about 18 months I told DS the milk was asleep in the night time and he accepted it there and then. I was stunned and relieved. Day time was just don’t offer don’t refuse and asks declined you very quickly from there.

I had had my fill when DD was 2.6 but it took me until she was 3.4 to stop breastfeeding completely.

I stopped any daytime breastfeeding (other than when injured or ill) on the 23rd March 2020 when she was 2.1, as I knew that stuck at home she would be climbing all over me the entire time. Then I gradually decreased at night, but it was a battle. First I dropped to just feeding to sleep and first thing in the morning, then dropped the morning feed, so that for the last 6 months (maybe slightly longer she only fed to sleep and nothing more). Then one night I asked if she wanted to swap it for a song as she was obsessed with Twinkle twinkle at the time, and that was the last time I breastfed.

It is her way of connecting with you, she still needs the comfort. That is not to say you should continue as breastfeeding is a two way thing and you can give her comfort in other ways.

Would you be willing to give her a 'count to 10' feed? Or could she hold your breast instead. Or give her a high value treat like chocolate buttons instead of a feed.

I am in the exactly same position! My LO is 22 months and I really want to stop.

Following. I'd love a book I could read to her that says, sorry milk is all over now.

I think we are getting close though. There is coming home from nursery feed(5pm) and morning feed. Not sure which to try to drop first? Suggestions?

I'd prefer evening feed first... But we still feed to nap on weekends.... At 5pm!!!! (Naps at nursery are around 12...)

Not sure what to do about nights, because I never gave my DCs milk after bedtime once they’d hit 6 months. DC2 breastfed morning and evening (and sometimes in between!) until 22 months. At Christmas, I told him Santa was bringing a toy and taking away my milk. He was completely fine with it. A few times he’d try to come over and open my shirt, and I would say “ok, you can try, but the milk is all gone, remember?” and he never called my bluff!

I’m in the same position. Dd was 2 last week and I’m 6 months pregnant. I try saying no during the night but she SCREAMS (and I also want to go back to sleep…).

My second DD was over three when I finally got her to stop. I had no luck with don't offer, don't refuse. I had to just cut her off completely cold turkey and told her the milk had run out, she had drunk it all! She was quite pleased with herself for having successfully drunk alllllllllllll the milk and pretty much accepted it.

She does still cuddle my boobs and shove a hand in my bra for a stroke any chance she gets, however!

Thank you all for your replies. Maybe I just need to be firmer and not give in when she insists. I’ll have a look for some books on Amazon too. Girls weekend away sounds like a great idea too! 😀

It’s weird because I remember so vividly how difficult this was and yet when it happened it just kind of happened. I developed a cyst underneath one of my breasts and had to have surgery. Following that surgery I was bandaged up for quite some time (took forever to heal). I explained to her by showing her the bandaging and saying it was mummy’s “Owwie” and boobs were resting. It’s amazing how well she took to it considering she was using me as a human pacifier. Talk talk talk to her and make it a gradual change, eventually she will stop asking all together. Good luck.

IME treating it as three separate things helped and stopping those separately.

Daytime feeds - easily cut out at this age with distraction, avoiding sitting down, saying "Yes you can have some but at [naptime/bedtime]" etc. Substitute snacks, drinks, and lots of attention - sometimes they nurse to connect with you but playing a game together or colouring or reading or just snuggling up to watch TV also achieves this.

Night feeds - any night weaning technique of your choice. I went with a delay before feeding which I slowly increased.

Feeding to sleep - again plenty of guides to help stop this in various books/online. I went with the technique of stopping the feed earlier and earlier until they were completely awake when I detached them and then continued to soothe to sleep by rocking/cuddling.