Almost at term and feel incapable of having another baby

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Having a weird flood of strange emotions at the moment.

I have one DS already and am expecting my second any day. A few weeks ago, I was excited, I felt on top of things and like I was a good mum, and that I would be a good mum again.

Weirdly, as the due date has approach I have lost the desire to “have the baby”, what I mean by that is I don’t think I can push him
out or cope with the labour.

I also feel like once he’s out I’ll be able leave because I will have gotten him out safely, and I could then find a way to end things.

I feel like I won’t be able to be a mum of two. Today I went to the shops with the toddler alone and he jumped out of the trolley and had the biggest meltdown. I basically had to abandon the shop and go home with nothing. I think it broke me a bit.

Is feeling like this close to the end of a pregnancy common? I feel like I just don’t want the baby; that I don’t want to push him out, that I don’t want to feed him or see him. Is this just hormones?

It’s peri-natal depression, I think. It really isn’t unusual but you do need help with it. It’s horrible to feel so low, especially when everyone thinks you should be happy. Definitely talk to the GP or midwife ASAP. What practical help will you have in the early weeks?

Thinking about labour is of course going to raise feelings of apprehension but you can do it and you will be fine. I’m not sure I totally understand what you mean about ending things but if you’re referring to taking your own life please urgently see your doctor and discuss how you’re feeling. I’m sorry if I’ve misunderstood that.

Please relay your concerns to your midwife asap, you could have prenatal depression and she'll be able to help you.
Having a wobble before birth about whether you can do it or not is totally natural, but as your thoughts are also leaning towards finding a way to end things it's definitely a cry for help so please seek help first thing in the morning, they won't think you're a bad mum, they won't whisk baby off you, they will have seen it in many other mums and put things in place to help you.
The fact that you're already worrying about whether you'll be a good mum or not shows that you are a great mum, it shows that you care! Big hugs, I hope you're feeling a bit better in the morning and that the day with your toddler has just thrown you a bit (toddlers can breath us all at the best of times with their meltdowns let alone while heavily pregnant!) But regardless of how you feel in the morning please phone your midwife and talk to her, let her help you through this.