3yo vile without naps , can't cope feel drained

[itscomplicatedlife]

Our daughter has always rarely napped from 6 mo, spent most of mat leave after 2pm listening to crying as she refused to nap, I was exhausted when I went to work glad to get away from the noise but exhausted to learn a whole new job under a difficult boss on top of nights of broken sleep. She fights tiredness always has but now her meltdowns are exhausting as she’s bigger and Noise is so much louder I feel sick when it starts! My anxiety is through the roof and my dr is testing my hormones for peri men as I’m getitng all symptoms which is not helping!!! Insomnia is likely as we’ve rarely had a full nts sleep without being woke since she was born. I try to get her in the car to sleep but she jjst won’t go so spends hours whining and crying, has anyone else experienced this and felt like they just can’t do it anymore?? I don’t know why but I feel done, ready to run away I just hate it, I’m so emotionally done, I just want to cry and cry and not be living this life! She goes to nursery 4 days I only now have her for 3 she doesn’t nap there too many distractions I only have her 3 days what’s wrong with me! I may have to put her in the 3rd day it’s so sad this isn’t how it was supposed to be, my heads spinning. Is this normal or not or is there anyone out there who can relate to this??

Deep breath. It’s okay. Babies and toddlers are really, really hard and it’s a million times worse when they don’t sleep,

For a start, she’s 3. If trying to get her to nap is causing this much stress and anxiety then let it go. Drop the nap permanently from today and work on night sleep.

What does a typical day look like when she’s with you? Is she meeting milestones? Eating well? Do nursery have any concerns about her development?

What happens at bedtime and what time is she up in the morning?

How many hours of actual sleep does she get in 24 hours? What are her wake up and sleep times?

Drop the nap. It's a sad day when they stop napping but she doesn't need it if she's taking forever to get to sleep. I've only known one child who still takes a nap at 3. It's not worth the stress of spending hours to get her to sleep 40 minutes. The great thing about saying good bye to the nap is early bedtime!

Think about your day...
Up and breakfast
Morning activity
Lunch then quiet time
Afternoon activity
Tea
Bath
Bed

If you are going out I'd do it in the morning, any clubs and groups. She's going to be transitioning to the nap free life so she may be tired in the afternoon. Then have lunch and then quiet time, tv or books or drawing or something but encourage independence at this time. When ds was 2.5 I was heavily pregnant and he had a chill out time watching TV while I napped beside him. Helped him refresh and get ready for the afternoon. For afternoon activity I wouldn't do anything to exciting, just park or something so she doesn't fall asleep on the way home. Then put her to bed when she's had enough...even if it's 5.45.

Take the pressure off yourself. Sometimes they meltdown and just need a wee day chilling out, especially if she's out at nursery and socialising now.

@AliceW89

We never really had naps at all, I jjst had try get her to nap today as she was abs dog tired and was in such a bad mood but she wouldn't but i had to try as the day was just dragging on 😫

She's meeting milestones definitely, she's not a great eater though, always been very fussy she's also got an issue with constipation, got a months supply of movicol 2 wks ago but isn't working got a gp appt next Fri as she's held it in for 3 days so far it's prob not helping 🤯

She goes to sleep from about 7.30-8 most evenings, wakes between 12.30-3 and again at 5.30-6 then resettles & is up at 7, never naps unless she's really shattered then I try get her to nap in the car as it's the only place she'll do it.

It's been a day of hell; it's been awful I felt so ill with stress she's just gone to sleep but still hasn't pooed that must be the underlying reason to today's bad mood but she's never been a cheerful soul even without that issue esp when she's tired, she's a demon 🤦‍♀️ x x x

@Rinatinabina she usually asleep 7.30-8 but wakes anywhere between 12.30-3 settles then wakes again sometimes between 5.30-6 then settles until 7 so she's getting about 11 hrs wirh 1-2 wake ups and no naps usually in the day x x

@Beseen22 This sounds quite similar to what we do tbh or what I certainly try to do, she hasn't been napping at all since she was around a year old, she's never liked to
Nap, she gets dog tired and I can only guess by Friday today she's abs knackered from nursery and perhaps does need the nap, but I had tried and failed today to coerce in to one via the car she ended up coming in screaming the house down, let her do it in her room then it went quiet she'd got on her bed and fell asleep and woke up like a totally different child!! She must've been abs knackered!! She's also got a constipation issue which isn't helping it's been a bloody horrible day. But yes we try stick to getting our first thing when she's less tired then as much independent play after lunch in the afternoon at home as she's just shattered, perhaps tomorow will be a better day if she'll
Also have a poo!! Seeing the dr again next Friday about that issue 🤦‍♀️ thanks a lot hun I felt in despair earlier I'm already so drained after nearly 3 years of the noise and no naps and interrupted nights, keep wondering wth will it all just start easing off a bit!! 😭 x d

Constipation causes absolutely horrific behaviour issues. Definitely get her on the movicol. You’re aiming for at least one decent poo per day.
3 year olds do not need a nap. Get her up at 7 every morning, put her to bed at 7 every night. Do not deviate from this.
where does she sleep and what’s her bedtime routine?

My 2.5 year old often won't nap and sleeps relatively little during the night (never falls asleep before 8.30pm and wakes around 7am, occasionally sleeps through but usually wakes a few times to breastfeed). He's just always had very low sleep needs, like his dad. I cope by keeping my expectations for naps low - I assume he probably won't have a nap, but we do have "quiet time" every day after lunch which helps stave off any early evening meltdowns. Usually it's either me reading to him in bed, or going for a walk in the pushchair. If he needs a nap, he'll fall asleep. If not, just resting for a little while seems to help him get through the evening.

I only have a little one myself so no personal experience, however some good friends and family of mine have kids who are 3. Two still nap and 1 doesn’t. The one who doesn’t did exactly what yours is doing, completely fought it and drove his mum crazy for a few weeks. In the end she said sod it and didn’t put him down. It took about 3 weeks of earlier bed times (6:30) and gradually stretching it later and later until it got back to normal (7:30) but now he is adjusted her life is so much easier. One thing she does do however, is on days where he is a bit more difficult to handle she replaced what would have been a nap for quiet time. She made some quiet time boxes with activities and he sits in his room and plays with those for 15/20 mins. Gives her a break when she needs it, and helps to focus her son so he also calms down and resets. It almost has the same effect as a nap without actually sleeping.