Feeling like abit of a crap mum

[Dove88]

My DD is nine weeks old so I’m fully aware that she is still really young. But lately I’ve been feeling as though I’m being abit of a crap mum. I’ve briefly talked to mum friends but there always seems to be a layer of competition and putting on a front.
It’s nothing major just day to day things.
I don’t ever really ‘put her down to sleep’. She doesn’t have any semblance of a nap routine and usually only sleeps in the day after a feed or when she’s in the sling and I’m doing bits. Not at set times. Is this ok? Should I be putting her in a dark room in her Moses basket at a set time? Should I be trying to get her to sleep without feeding?

I do play and chat with her throughout the day but should I be reading books and things to her? She doesn’t have much interest scrunchy toys or sensory things yet.
She feeds as and when she wants but that often means that I spend most of the day sitting in front of the tv breastfeeding her. Is that fairly normal?
I have maybe half an hour a day where she’s happy in her Moses basket (awake) while I run round doing housework. I just feel as though other mums have more time and the whole ‘making the most of her nap times’ thing doesn’t work because I’m holding her or she’s in the sling.
Sorry this is so long, I just have a lot of minor concerns and thought I’d put it all in one post. Hoping for some honesty and any tips please

You sound like a great Mum. Stop worrying, and just enjoy.

You’re doing great! My Dd is 12 weeks and I am still very much letting her nap when she wants, where she wants (mostly in the sling or push chair). She’s my 3rd and with my older two I was strict with getting them into routines early on, but I found it so stressful. This time round I’m making the most of these long baby cuddles and not worrying about a routine or putting her down just yet! Enjoy it OP

I have 4 children. I worried so much about my first one - worrying if i was doing things right. The 4th child spent most of the time in the background as i was too busy with the others. She had no routine at all. She has turned out perfectly fine - and very assertive as she needs to speak up to get heard!

Once you are both happy the other things are not important. You don’t need to read books to small babies - they are happy sitting with you while you enjoy TV.

My DS is almost 6 months and we’re just establishing a night time routine but nap times are whenever he wants. The best advice I’ve been given is “do whatever is right for you”

Don't worry at all! The routine and playing with toys etc comes with time. You definitely don't need to specifically push it, and my DD is 14 months old now and I still hold her for most of her naps. They love being close to you and it's good for them :-)

You sound like the best mum. Cuddling your tiny bundle while you can. Enjoy those snatched moments.

My daughter has just turned 2, and I’ve never put her down for a nap. She was a lockdown baby and always had contact naps, snuggled into one of us, even as she got big enough to climb up on my lap. It was hard when she was little and I couldn’t just settle her onto the couch next to me when she started snoozing, like I can now, so I never had full use of both arms for months 🙄
what I always told myself is that it goes too quickly, that one day she won’t want naps and snuggles with Mummy, that even though it was hard and exhausting, and overwhelming sometimes, it wouldn’t always be that way.
My daughter is now so happy, such a loving, silly, clever and confident little girl, and I really think that having so much attention and close contact with us has helped her to become the little monkey that she is.
Give yourself a break, hard as it can be sometimes, and stop comparing yourself to other “perfect” mums. Everyone has dramas, upsets and anxiety about raising their kids. Not everything is what it seems on instagram and Facebook.

This sounds exactly how our days went when my son was 9 weeks (15 weeks old now). I've only just started to put him down for naps. This is an ongoing battle as he still wants to contact nap a lot. Before that he would either sleep in the sling as I did housework, or the pram or on me in front of the TV. At 9 weeks I don't think you need to worry about play. My son has only recently been bothered about toys and if I'm honest, still seems to get most enjoyment out of faces and us talking to him, than playing with toys! He'll spend a bit of time on his baby gym but it's on my lap listening to me that he loves the most.

that often means that I spend most of the day sitting in front of the tv breastfeeding her. Is that fairly normal?

It was certainly normal for me when my son was that age! I tried to make this phase last as long as possible but it had to end when he wouldn't feed because he was too busy craning his neck to try and watch TV with me!

We started a routine when he was around 4 and a half months....we had to then, to tackle the 4 month sleep regression. I sometimes miss the days of no routine.