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[polarbearmagnet]

My ds who is turning 3 next week seems behind in some areas developmentally. I've never had the gut instinct of him being asd but there is something missing. He started nursery just recently after Easter and it's the first time he has been in a nursery environment and has settled perfectly with no issues whatsoever and absolutely loves it. A report has been written after two weeks of him starting to follow his progression until the summer term. At the moment, he is delayed by 6/10 months in some areas such self regulation, attention, listening and understanding. Fine motor skills, gross motor skills, speaking are all 6- 8 months delayed and social and communication is age appropriate although he plays alongside other children at the moment.

Is this something I should be worried about?He seems like a baby compared to his peers but he is bright and is getting there. The nursery head said I shouldn't worry as a lot of the kids that started before ds were similar and have all caught up. It's a mixture of lockdown and in our case he is an only child. I'm just worried that there is something and the gap will get wider overtime. The nursery are very good and will work with him but is there something else I should do to help him?

Ds has always been an alert baby but he pointed at 18 months but used joint attention with eye contact before that. Pointed to request by 20 months. Had 5 words by 18 months. Smiled at 2 months, Crawled at 8 months, sat unaided at 10 months, walked at 14 months. Thank you.

Just to let you know if it makes any difference, ds has attended six sessions so far at nursery and attends 3 days a week for half days and he had a great taster session back in March.

We're moving this thread to our Parenting topic for the OP.

Hi OP, you can speak to your health visitor so that you can get a referral to get him assessed. I had and still have concerns over my almost 3yr old speech, although it has gotten a bit better, he's still far behind compared to his peers.

After the assessment I was told not to worry as he would catch up. Not sure if I believe that 100% but Ill just have to wait and see and take action if I feel more needs to be done.

I would speak to your health visitor to see what they say too

Thank you for your responses. I feel a lot of it stems from the fact that he is speech delayed. I think I should start looking at private speech therapies and speak to the hv as well and show the report. I'm not an expert and know that not every child displays the same traits as what is written in Google for asd but I'm 99% certain he isn't. It's something else that I can't quite put my finger on and was wondering if anyone had similar experiences.

Hi, I’m a special needs teacher and I think your idea for private slt is a great one if you can afford it. ASD is well known, but there are lots of different issues a child can face with language, such as DLD (developmental language delay) and a SLT will be able to work out if/what the issues are for your child and what types of things might be helpful for them. Good luck.

@AutumnVibes thank you for your response. I've started searching for therapies and hopefully would be able to get a better picture once he starts. Also I forgot to mention, he is growing up in a bilingual household. My DH and his side of the family use their native language to communicate with ds. Ds is nowhere near as good with the second language compared to English which is what me, my own family and nursery use so he is better with English but he also understands a few commands and knows a few words in the second language. As a special needs teacher, can his delays in the areas that were highlighted in his report be associated with language delay? Thank you.

Hi, to be honest, it sounds as though language isn’t really the issue if the nursery has out social and communication as age appropriate. I think you can download activities to help with each of the areas delayed, I will see if I can find them. But the nursery sound as though they are being really proactive with such a speedy assessment. Being in the nursery environment will hopefully help too as they will provide a real range of activities planned to meet all the different areas of learning. I would consider sending him for slightly more hours if he is entitled to more. My 3 year old was doing 5 mornings until recently and it was great for structure and routine. I’ll try to find the activities associated with the ASQ.

I would speak to your health visitor but I think you'll probably see a huge difference with nursery and him interracting with other children, copying etc once he's settled properly and been there longer. They're like little sponges!

agesandstages.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/ASQ3-Intervention-Activities-Handouts.pdf

pages.uoregon.edu/asqstudy/asq/LearningActivities/Learning%20Activities.pdf

Based on the ASQ for 36 months:
www.chkd.org/uploadedFiles/Documents/Pediatric/ASQ3%20-%2036%20Month.pdf

I think these are used by health visitors rather than nurseries, so might be worth asking nursery if you can see what particular assessments they are using so you can start doing activities from the next targets up to bring him on.
Good luck.

They did that assessment after just two weeks, and with him never having attended any kind of nursery setting before? Blimey, they need to cut him some slack and give him a bit longer to get the hang of it, surely?

@AutumnVibes thank you so much for taking the time to find those links, I really really appreciate your help. I will go through them one by one. I've discussed adding another day which they have agreed to add another extra day where he will now attend 4 days a week starting from next week.

@chisanunian I guess they are going to track his progress or that he showed quite a few areas of delays at the beginning and they want to see how they can help him. They have reassured me a lot saying it's normal etc but I know that he is delayed compared to his peers. Maybe it's a combination of not being in a structured nursery setting before including speech issue or the fact that there is something else but I do want to help him as much as I can. I wanted to wait until he started nursery before I got the ball rolling for any type of help and wanted to see what the nursery observed as well. I have seen some positive changes in him though for the past two weeks. It could be nothing but it could be something which I wanted to find out from users who have had similar experiences and how things have turned out for them in the end.