Dad talking about Mum

[Caz4314]

So I don't know if I'm being overly sensitive here so happy to hear all sides to this. When my husband is struggling to get our son to sleep he'll say 'do you want me to get mummy'; or give him the choice of holding daddy's hand or getting mummy. When I hear it I find it very upsetting , like he's using me as a threat. Ie behave or ill go and you'll have mummy instead. Am I over thinking or over reacting? I do have a tendency to overreact or take things to heart that weren't meant that way but I find rhem hurtful?

It's not a great thing to say to your kids!!

I guess it depends how it's being said, before I got to the part where you said it's like a threat, I thought it was more that your husband was suggesting/asking if your son would prefer you (i.e. that normally your son is more comforted by you)

Obviously you'll know better how it's being said though...

I feel like it depends how it's being said, my partner says something similar to our daughter because sometimes she wants me so it's in a 'do you want me to get mummy darling'

I read it the other way in that he was being lazy, ie he couldn't be bothered settling your child and wanted to get you to do it

Talk to him about it.

Id hear it as DH was struggling and needed me to help (if DC we’re refusing sleep etc) rather than I was a threat.

Maybe your dh thinks dc prefers you and would rather you did xyz for them? Guess it depends on the tone used.

Me too. It's a fucking cop-out, but I wouldn't read it as a threat. I'd do it back to him till he stops it though.