Work trip

[Lolalola9321]

Hello lovely ladies,

Looking for some advice or experiences of what you would do or if you have been in the same position.

I resumed work FT when my little one was 9/10 months old and I’m super fortunate to have family support so I don’t need to worry about nursery ect. My partner is self employed but works hard and long hours, I do a lot of the baby stuff and logistics of childcare ect.

My DS will be one at the end of May, I’m still BF him but plan to stop shortly after his birthday (no hate please, I only planned to BF for a month but I am super proud to make it to a year). We have a super close relationship and I am very reactive to his needs, he’s not a great sleeper but I’m happy to wait it out until he’s a bit bigger — my partner does let do nighttime’s it’s mainly me. I’ve never been comfortable leaving my little man until I went back to work and my partner has had 2/3 shots of bed time now since I feel better about leaving him (and it’s went fairly okay)

My work have asked me to travel to India for my job, this wouldn’t be until November so DS would be 17 months approx. It would normally be 2 weeks but I think I could condense it to 10 days. It’s a great opportunity personally and career wise and pre baby I would have been desperate to go however now I am absolutely filled with mum guilt. I don’t want to turn it down and regret my decision, I know my DS will be well looked after by his dad and our families but it seems like such a long time and it’s so far away combined with the time difference. My baby hasn’t stayed with anyone else before or been without me at night.

Has anyone been through similar? What did you do?

x

I can't speak from experience but following as I'll be interested to hear what others have to say. I have a job that has always involved travel and giving that up was never something I considered though it will inevitably be less, partly for other reasons, like we've hired new people to take on some trips, and my boss is understandable of the need to condense trips. Was meant to do first trip when DD was 15mo but that got cancelled due to Omicron. Now it's looking like first one will be when she is 20mo, so a bit older than your DS, but I think I would have done it at that age too. Not quite as long - I'll be going for a week. My plan is to is try to build that up so I have a couple of overnights and maybe one two nighter beforehand, though we don't have family help nearby so it's tricky striking a balance with not asking too much of my DP (who is very much a 50:50 parent but has a job that involves no travel so I'm aware the burden of this particular thing falls entirely on him). My general take is that my job is really important to me, DD has always surprised us with how adaptable she is to new situations, and I think she'll be fine, so I'm gonna go for it (I have more guilt for the situation I'm putting my DP I'm tbh, because I know I would struggle to solo parent her for a week, but will think of some nice stuff to make it up to him). If I were you I would go for it, but arrange to have some days and nights beforehand in the setup your DS will be in when you're away.

That’s really reassuring to hear houseargh! I also feel guilty leaving my partner for the whole time but I suppose unlike you I know he will have loads of support!

I know that being a working mum would be hard but like you my job is super important to me and tbh I love it. There will probs be the odd night here and there when I have to travel around the UK so that might be a good time to practice being away.

good luck with your travels when they come ❤️

I had to go out to China for a week when DD was a similar age. I'd planned to use it as a clean break to stop BFing but DD had other ideas and fed for a good 6 months afterwards. I felt guilty leaving her and DS (just 4) but knew they would be fine. I felt the worst when the plane was lining up for take-off. I really wanted to get off the plane but it was too late by then so I had to get on with it. I had a week of sleeping all night in a bed to myself and it was glorious.

One thing I always do when I'm away is send the kids a postcard. I use the Postsnap app so I can make one with pictures of me visiting local places (even if it's just the view from the hotel room). They love getting them and have a good collection now.