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Original poster

Child's photos shared without my consent

37 replies

Barbara2022 · 27/04/2022 11:09

SIL has uploaded a public video to YouTube of her wedding and two different images of my child (taken by their wedding photographer), has been used without mine or husbands consent.
I am very private, no social media and don't let nursery share photos of my child, which is why I'm bothered by this.
But unfortunately, from what I've read, sharing photos of children is a grey area - unless indecent images.
Please note SIL is a very unreasonable, so generally approaching her about this would be pointless. I'm just after any advice, thank you

OP posts:
whosaidth1 · 27/04/2022 11:43

Well I was just gonna say just explain to her why you don't want your kid's picture up and ask her to take it down but if she wont listen then I've got no other advice.

good luck x

helpfulperson · 27/04/2022 12:00

Surely it's to be expected she would share her wedding photos. If you didn't want this to happen you should have spoken to her beforehand so she could make sure they weren't in photos.

Soapboxqueen · 27/04/2022 12:07

There's nothing you can do now if you think your SIL would not listen.

You should have said something before the wedding or done your best to keep your dd out of all of the photos once there.

You can request people remove images (not specfic to just children but anyone) but the person who owns the photos does not have to comply unless specifically covered by legislation.

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WallaceinAnderland · 27/04/2022 12:08

Did you expect her not to share her wedding photos online OP?

AlternativePerspective · 27/04/2022 12:09

Meh.

Your children were at her wedding. Ergo they were in the pictures. It wouldn’t even occur to me to ask for consent in those circumstances.

Really can’t get my head around why people get so worked up about this.

Comefromaway · 27/04/2022 12:16

The photographer owns the copyright to the photos. By attending the wedding you implied consent to the images being used.

AndAsIfByMagic · 27/04/2022 12:17

Agree with everyone else. You can't ask her not to share her wedding photos.

Lem0nDrizzle · 27/04/2022 12:18

Agree with everyone else

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 27/04/2022 12:18

Going forward, you are going to have to come up with a strategy.

I've come across my DDs photos in te local newspaper, on twitter/Facebook (local events, not friends pages). Parents take photos of their kids in sports matches, parades, school eventsetc, and post those with yours in the background. And of course, weddings, parties etc.

Its easy to keep them out of posed photos, not so much general ones.

Last weekend we were at a venue taking photos to upgrade their website. They did specifically ask permission for that and we were given release forms.

The point being... if you let them out of the house, they will likely end up on SM. If there is a specific safety concern, you will need to be extra vigilant.

FieldOverFence · 27/04/2022 12:21

Its her wedding, she's not going to audit each & every image to see who's shild is in which image and specifically request parent's permission before sharing

As PPs have said, everyone knows there is a bunch of photos & videos taken at weddings and shared - both by the B&G and by any number of guests. Attendance implies consent

Needtogetoffmyphone · 27/04/2022 12:22

If your child isn’t tagged does it really matter? They’re just an anonymous child.

I wouldn’t particularly do it myself, but it was your SIL wedding, and it is the way of the world now.

In a few years your child will be posting on social media, themselves. Then you will worry.

Perfect28 · 27/04/2022 12:23

If they were taken in a public place there's nothing you can do about it. Why are you so worried?

dementedpixie · 27/04/2022 12:23

m.facebook.com/help/383420348387540/?helpref=faq_content

You can ask fb to remove it for privacy reasons

dementedpixie · 27/04/2022 12:23

dementedpixie · 27/04/2022 12:23

m.facebook.com/help/383420348387540/?helpref=faq_content

You can ask fb to remove it for privacy reasons

Oops sorry it wasn't fb. Ignore this then

Original poster
Barbara2022 · 27/04/2022 12:29

Thank you for the responses and discussion. Going forward, my husband and I will make our wishes clear, regarding any further photo sharing.

Alternative Perspective, I suppose we all have our reasons.

OP posts:
SolasAnla · 27/04/2022 12:30

It will likely cause fighting but you can go direct to Utube eg

arighttobeforgotten.co.uk/services/right-to-be-forgotten-request-video-removal

MissusMaisel · 27/04/2022 12:33

It's not a grey area. You don't own your image and you don't own your childrens image, anyone can put up pictures of them as long as they are not for commercuial gain, intent to harm, or otherwise illegal.

You can ask family not to, but you can't make them.

Dbank · 27/04/2022 12:34

In short, your SIL, doesn't need consent to use images of your children.

Perhaps a compromise would be to ask her to voluntarily blur the child's face, and that you would cover any costs incurred.

Personally, I wouldn't worry, why does it matter if someone can see your child?

Gowithme · 27/04/2022 12:40

If you didn't want him in the photos you should have made sure you took him out. What a bizarre thing to get so worked up about, I just don't get it at all (unless his picture has to stay off because he's at risk from someone in particular).

You know that any weirdo can see your child walking down the street, at the park, in the swimming pool, at the beach - and they can take a picture/video of him if it's a public place.

What do you think someone is going to do if they see your child's picture on your SIL's vid? Track him down even if they have no idea who he is? They don't need to do that, they'll have children living next door to them, or that they work with or that belong to their relatives. Your child is far more at risk from someone you know than from some random on the internet and it's dangerous to think otherwise.

whosaidth1 · 27/04/2022 12:54

We understand that OP can't make anyone take down photos etc etc etc But stop saying is bizarre, weird that she doesn't want her child's photos out there. May be weird to you but I'm sure she has her valid reasons! The fact that she's even worked up about it suggests that its something she absolutely doesn't want.

Like some pp has said OP, next time make your expectations regarding photos of your children being taken clear and known so that this doesn't have to happen again in similar settings.

Original poster
Barbara2022 · 27/04/2022 12:55

Gowithme - I don't think otherwise, I am very aware of the risks with anyone.

Again, thank you all for the discussion - this has talked me down a little.

OP posts:
MrsAvocet · 27/04/2022 13:01

I've just had a parent complaining about something similar at a sporting event I run, as their child is in photos that other parents have shared of the event. As far as I can see there's nothing wrng. It's a public event, taking place at a public venue and anyone can photograph it. It's not the same as asking school or nursery not to share photos. Obviously if I had put pictures in the local paper of their child saying "3rd prize went to Joe Bloggs, aged 10, of 5 Acacia Avenue, Anytown" without asking for consent then that would be completely wrong, but photos of an unidentified child in a group shot or in the background of a picture of someone else's kid can't be controlled. If you take part in public events you have to accept that photos will be taken.
I suppose you could argùe that a wedding is private - or at least the reception is - but in that case you should have not allowed your child to be photographed. (I'm not sure how you'd stop the guests but you could have told the official photographer I guess.) But you can't seriously expect people to keep their wedding photos private, and in this day and age that is obviously going to include social media. Unless there is some massive Safeguarding issue, in which case you really needed to pre-empt this situation, I think its you that's being unreasonable, not your SIL sorry.

Needtogetoffmyphone · 27/04/2022 13:38

Given that there does seem to be some real issue here, I think you should have been more on the ball about the likelihood of photos of your child being shared on social media. It’s not like it’s a new phenomenon

I doubt you can do anything about the current situation without causing an argument of some sort, but at least you will be more aware in the future and politely pre-empt these situations.

Bobbins36 · 27/04/2022 13:45

Did you not realise photos/videos are widely taken at weddings? Did you do anything beforehand like ask the photographer not to include your child? Did you expect that wedding photos would not be widely shared among friends and family? Unless you addressed this beforehand I would pipe down and not be sour about someone’s big day pics.

Original poster
Barbara2022 · 27/04/2022 14:02

Bobbins36 - seriously? It's the photos of my child being made public that's my concern, not general 'big day pics'.
I came on here to get advice and throughout, I've been provided with some very welcomed objective thoughts/opinions but comments like yours 'pipe down' is null and void because as I stated in my last comment, this thread has talked me down a little.
I'd suggest using your pent-up negative emotions and use them for a nicer purpose

OP posts: