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Parenting

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Original poster

Son upset by comment friends parent supposedly passed.

15 replies

Inthegreenshed · 27/04/2022 10:29

Hi all, first post here I need some help. My son is 6, he got extremely upset before school today. He didn’t want to go again which was is so unlike him but it has been happening a lot recently. He finally opened up today that before Easter his friend at school looked sad so he asked her what was wrong and she said “my dad said you are a little weirdo” Now I’m not just saying this as he’s my son but my child has a lot of friends in class, he’s a bubbly little lad, he does tend to play with the girls more than the boys, but still is friends with some of the boys. Never been a problem, but I’m wondering is this being perceived as weird, not that I care what anyone thinks but from his pov he’s really took it to heart, and the fact he’s been worrying about this has me now fuming. My question is how do I approach this, do I confront the parents and ask them is it true, or do I goto school and say this is why he’s upset x y z, it didn't happen on schools time or by the pupil directly so does it even fall under schools care?! Or do we ignore it and just carry on building his confidence and reassure him that sometimes people say things that don’t make any sense & steer him away from this kid?! Any input is appreciated thanks.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Buzzer3555 · 27/04/2022 10:36

I would carry on building his confidence. confrontation eoth the parents may make things worse. Mention it to the teacher to make them aware so they can keep an eye on him.

girlmom21 · 27/04/2022 10:43

Do you know the parents?
I'd speak to them in a ' your child's said this so I'd be wary of what you say around them' kind of way.

That way they know you know they're a dick but there's no confrontation.

PragmaticWench · 27/04/2022 10:46

I wouldn't steer him away from the child, it's not their fault their parent is unkind. I'd also say that it wouldn't be healthy to suggest he avoids that child, the children should be left to play together if they want to.

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Original poster

Inthegreenshed · 27/04/2022 10:56

girlmom21 · 27/04/2022 10:43

Do you know the parents?
I'd speak to them in a ' your child's said this so I'd be wary of what you say around them' kind of way.

That way they know you know they're a dick but there's no confrontation.

We only know of them just in playground passing been to birthday parties etc but not at all close. I’m a hot head and would quite happily ask him why he feels he has to belittle other children to his children, but my husband is much more reserved and chilled so doesn’t want to get into a big confrontation with the dad etc. His teacher is never in atm, so supply teachers so I don’t really feel like that will do anything as they’re in and out. I will reassure my son and tell him to ignore comments, and to carry on being himself that’s a given, but I do want this dad to know I think he’s out of order, just not sure best way to go about it. I don’t want to make it worse, but I don’t want people thinking we are doormats either!

OP posts:

averythinline · 27/04/2022 11:01

Definitely raise at school...they may want to just keep an eye out but they often do being nice to each other work at that age...
They also may want to keep an eye out on the girl to see if she's saying horrible things to other kids as well..
Not saying its her fault but some need more help to think about what they say at that age.....I think its a bit older when it kicks in....
She equally may have social communication issues.....lots of kids are delayed in that area due covid..so support for your lovely sounding boy but wouldn't say anything to parents..

DropYourSword · 27/04/2022 11:01

Don't go in all guns blazing!! You don't actually even know if the dad did say that or not.

ifoundthebread · 27/04/2022 11:08

I wouldn't steer him away from playing with anyone. . The parents might think behaviour they have seen or heard about is different/weird/strange/ not their normal and expressed that, stupidly infront of their child who has relayed that on, but that doesn't mean that's what was said as a statement. Friend may of been relaying a game that was being played on the yard "greensheds son said we should be green sharks on a mission to find dog footprints, follow them to find where the dirty nappy bin is" parents reply well that's a bit weird isn't it. Friend tells greensheds son parents think he's weird.

EvilEdna1 · 27/04/2022 11:15

It could have been said as a joke. It's unwise but the parent would probably not even remember saying it. His child could have been relaying some tale about your son which had him doing or saying something unusual and the parent said he was a weirdo. They are 6 and little kids are sometimes weird. My teenage boys are particularly weird come to think of it.

Blanketpolicy · 27/04/2022 11:34

You have no idea of the context the comment was made in. I have been known to call friends weirdos if they do something "unusual". It is done affectionately with no malice.

Perhaps the dad said it in a similar way, personally I would assume this. If his ds has then communicated it differently and is being nasty about it and upset your ds, let the teacher know and they can deal with.

Original poster

Inthegreenshed · 27/04/2022 11:37

Thanks all so much for your replies, they’ve definitely calmed me down and give me food for thought. My instincts are obviously to go nuclear, but like you say I’ve no proof it’s been said, and kids will be kids, so I’m going to put the brakes on and keep an eye on the situation, and in the meantime just reassure my boy that we all love who he is and maybe x’s dad was being a bit silly that day etc!

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Scooby5kids · 27/04/2022 22:13

I would raise it with school and ask the teacher to have a word and warn him to be careful what he says to his son about other children as he is repeating it

FASDE1517 · 27/04/2022 22:17

Friendship issues aside- don't underestimate the effect that a stream of different supply teachers can have on a child's willingness to go to school.

(I am referring to the uncertainty and anxiousness this can cause- absolutely not making a dig about supplies)

HairyBum · 27/04/2022 22:25

he might not have said anything, the child could have made it up. Best chat to your child about kindness and explain sometimes people put others down to make themselves feel better. If your son doesn’t cheer up in a day or so it might be worth chatting to the teacher so she can support him to be more resilient

carefullycourageous · 27/04/2022 22:28

Raise it with school.

Your child was upset at school by what the other child said. School can deal with it how they see fit, but the other child should not be calling your child a weirdo full stop.

LoveSpringDaffs · 27/04/2022 22:35

Context is missing.

msybe the child said something to his Dad about your DS. 'My friend DS drew a purple tree today' 'aww he's a little weirdo isn't he'

those of us who spend far too much time on MN woukd know not to say that, but a perfectly normal person in the real world, may not.

Explain context to your DS, also explain 'stretched truth' aka lies.

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