Bed time drama. Every. Single. Night :-/

[yyydelilah]

We have two sons. Eldest aged four, youngest 2.5.

Over the last three months bedtimes have descended in to chaos.

They go to bed around 7pm so one of us will take them up and do Bath, pjs, stories etc. We alternate evenings so it's fairly split between us. The other will tidy up downstairs.

What began as the odd naughty moment before bed has now become standard behaviour every night and it's really wearing me and DH down.

Usually everything is fine until they get out of the bath, but once they're out it begins, screaming, shouting, fighting with each other, running around, jumping on the beds, hiding under the beds so I can't get to them, running in and out of all the rooms upstairs.

If this was for a few minutes it would be no big deal, but it goes on and on, and gets so out of control that they're then wired up and it's impossible to get them in to pjs, and to settle for stories and actually in to bed.

I put youngest in bed first and he keeps running out and banging on eldest door. Eldest thinks it's all starting up again and goes mad with excitement. Which the fires up youngest and round it goes 

I know for some this is wont be an issue but this has happened so stealthy over the last few months that I dread to think if carries on in this vein where we'll be in a years time!

I'm also starting to really dread bedtimes. I love my kids more than anything and I feel awful that every bed times ends with someone (usually me) in tears

Please send any useful advice my way!

I would split them and do one at a time . Or do early bath together and then up to bed one at a time after quieter time downstairs. Bathtime together is exciting! Youngest first to bed with story then oldest and they both get individual time and can't wind each other up (hopefully)

Do 1 child at a time youngest up bath and bed first then second up bath and bed

We have the same. Bath time just winds them up. We now have shower before tea or separate, earlier baths.

@Pleasegodgotosleep your username says it all 😂

I think I will start doing them separately, it will take longer but will be FAR less stressful.

The only issue is when DH isn't here. I don't like to leave eldest downstairs on his own watching TV right before bed, or leave him to his own device without supervision for too long. He's only four so heaven knows what he'd get up to

My first thought was divide and conquer too - my two share a room but I take the youngest up first whilst the elder does reading and spellings with DH. Then elder goes to bed. If DC2 had a nap so needs to go at the same time as DC1 then one goes down in our bed and is moved later. When DH is away bedtime is a frickin nightmare!

Divide and conquer. Bring the whole thing forward 20-30 minutes. Take one child each. Bath them every other night, separately (ie 2.5yo one night, 4yo the next night) I'm a control freak, so I'd completely micromanage the situation-I would do pjs and teeth whilst still in the bathroom, and then literally carry the 2.5yo to his bedroom and straight into his bed. No opportunity for running around and giving himself an adrenaline boost.

Calm, quiet voices all the way through. Lights off for story time, and just a small crack in the curtains to let through the minimum necessary light to be able read the words. Read stories snuggled in bed together. Calm, boring voice. Definitely nothing funny! Then sit in/just outside the doorway (glass of wine optional) until theyre asleep. Ignore tossing and turning and chatting to teddies. Return child to bed immediately if they get up.

Two weeks of that nearly always sorts it out!

We're currently putting them in the bath at 5:30/6pm. With an actual in bed asleep time of 6:30/7pm. The whole process takes an hour.

That's getting them undressed, bathed, teeth, in pj's, stories and in bed.

But, wow, that hour 😑 it's like they're saving up every ounce of energy and expending it in one big blast at the end of the day.

It's very tiring, and epically frustrating. I just want a nice, calm, peaceful bedtime!!!

Can you bath or shower in the morning?

The very other night bath sounded good too.

Or both parents do bed time so you aren't outnumbered.

We've just had a chat and we're going to separate them going forward, and give each child 30 mins each, instead of the hour together.

Youngest can go up first. He's dropped his nap so is usually ready for bed a touch earlier.

Eldest can go up second. He can help whoever's tidying up by putting away his Lego etc.

On the day DH isn't here I'll wing it and see what works!

I used to do bath straight after dinner and then they would come downstairs for a glass of milk and a story etc. I think a bath excites children and they see it as play time. So if you don't associate bath with bed then they still have time to wind down after it?

Personally I wouldn't bathe them every night. It just wakes them up

That's interesting, so for those who don't bathe their kids every night, what do you do? Is it face and hand wash? And how often do you bath them?

I didn't bath DD every night. Unless she was actually mucky!
Little kids don't get as sweaty/smelly as older ones.
Wash hands and face, clean teeth. Bath every other night. Hairwash maybe once or twice a week..
Or shower/bath in the morning if they get too wound up by it.

I never bathed mine every night. What a waste of time and water! It would also make them go hyper. Never understood the relaxing bath before bed thing, it didn’t work for us it just woke them up.

I separate them for bed time as well. Wait till youngest is asleep before older one goes up.

Face and teeth every night. Bath every three days, used to be in the morning when they were little and not at school. Hair wash once a week.

Get some colouring/activity books and leave oldest to have quiet time with activity book of his choice.

In case it helps having your youngest dc in bed first op, maybe look at getting

Sleep sounds machine - our dc has had one for a long time, plays sounds such as rainfall, waves, nature, to send them off to sleep, paid about £12 on ebay!

Rather than Bath every day to settle, get some sleep mist to spray on pillow. My older dc seems to have aquired my Noam sleep mist from me which was a Christmas present from dh!

Weighted blanked, weight appropriate to child's weight / size to help keep them settled.

Good luck!

Come back and let us know how it goes OP

I will do! I'm actually looking forward to this evenings bed time so I can implement some changes. I feel more in control already. Thanks all

Never understood bathing little children every night. Especially if there are more than 2 kids close in age. Seems to be a very involved process in getting kids to bed. PJs on, brush teeth, quick story and light off. Deal with the 2.5 year old first, make sure they are asleep and than the 4 year old. Let them know they don't get to run about and make noise when their brother / sister is asleep. Form an easy routine and stick to it.

Nothing unless they are visibly dirty, then its a sponge wash to their hands and face.