Where do I start there is alot to the story but basically. My daughter (11) needed to get away from a situation she caused so she and my ex decided that she would live with him until Easter (5 weeks). He lives 100 miles away and confirmed that we would arrange visits and stick to the court order but just her time. Since he has had her I haven't seen my daughter, she refuses to give a reason for not wanted to see me. I have arranged a weekend, coffee meets and even a play park meeting just to help bridge whatever issues she is dealing with but the ex has stopped every contact. I get 1 phone call a week and that always ends badly because I just want her home or at least to have something to say she wants to visit but all I get is "I don't know". She doesn't know when she wants to visit, if she wants to visit, if she wants to come home.
I have since been told by the ex that she is staying with him until Summer and then she will decide what school she wants to go too.
I know this sound bitter but I have paid for all your school trips, camps and clubs for Summer and have to scrap all of this for what I can tell is no reason.
The ex is a manipulating emotional abuser (21 years history of it) hence why I has majority care of the kids and he was limited to 1 weekend a month. He isn't encouraging her in anyway to see me or my whole family (cousins, half brother, uncles, grandparents etc).
Every time I build myself up to see or speak to her I end up heartbroken. So when do I stop because I don't know how to deal with this or the emotions that happen. I am absolutely heartbroken. My family and partner are telling me to backoff fully because it does me more harm than good.
There is so much going on I don't know what to do. She acts like she hates me, I can't talk to her and find out her worries because she gets angry and hangs up. But I can't keep putting myself through this emotional roller coaster.
Is it okay to just walk away? I can't be a telephone parent.