is it ok to say no to a 6 month old? dd keeps scratching everyone all the time,

[robinredbreast]

and pulling hair

alot of people have told to just to say no to her

if she is say hair pulling, i uncurl her hand and put her arm down but the second i do, shes pulling and scratching again

so should i try saying no to her?

i worry that it may be too harsh to say that to a 6.5month old?
what do you think

Surely it is pointless saying 'no' to a six month old?

It is a phase, I think you are doing the right thing at the moment. My ds went through a phase of doing this, it passed!

You could try a firm no, but immediately distract her with a favourite toy so she forgets about it? DS is nearly 11m and I'm having similar, so I know he's a bit older, but TBH I'm finding he seems to know no means something, but he does a little laugh as if he knows he shouldn't be doing it but is trying to be cocky! I don't raise my voice or anything, but mostly am hoping that he'll start to realise eventually what it means!

Is it pointless?

tbh, I probably didn't say it with dd1. I think it may be dd2s first word.

I don't shout, although I do say it firmly.

I say 'no' to 6mos DD while untangling her little hand from my hair, my eyeglasses, etc. I don't think it has any effect one way or the other, it just seems natural to say it when you're trying to save your glasses from certain death! She carries on regardless, as 6mos olds do, but one fine day it'll sink in that the glasses are sacred and the hair pulling hurts.

Yes, to echo Margo, clearly you shouldn't shout. Just a 'no' and trying to slip something else into her grabby little paws.

I think I've been saying no (firmly) to mine (now nearly 11 months) for ages. Alongside stopping her doing whatever she is doing and, if appropriate, then providing an alternative game. She definitely knows what no means. Or perhaps it's the tone. She doesn't always respond, but often does - at least temporarily. Occasionally of course she just grins at me and carries on! (Note to self - must learn not to laugh when she is older and naughty but funny). I always praise her when she responds.

Is it harsh? You aren't 'telling her off'. Surely you are just beginning, if ever so gently, the process of demonstrating what is ok and what is not (while at the same time protecting yourself from hair pulling and the like!).

When I had DS1 in Germany they had a really cute way of dealing with this. Instead of 'No' when they wanted to grab/poke/push another littely or pet or whatever they taught them to pat gently instead - which means they are allowed to touch - but it will be stroking rather than scratching or whatever. Works a dream!

Well I probably said no too when my hair was being pulled! It is a natural instinct. But to say it as a behaviour modification tool does seem pointless when the baby is so little. Later it would be different.

I think I said 'no' to mine right from the start, at the same time as removing their hand from my hair/whatever. I didn't think for a second that they'd understand it from a young age but figured that if I said it every time it would sink in eventually.

aussie how did they turn the baby from scratching to stroking or patting as the would be perfect

suppose id just feel to mean saying no to such a young baby

Like Pistachio says, you take the hand and show it the motion of patting in longish slow strokes and you say - pat/stroke with every stroke (in German it is Ei machen - which I still use ...) It is far more understandable and nurturing for small children. There is plenty of time for 'No' starting somewhere between 1 and 2 I guess. Certainly my 2.5 year old and 5 year old hear it quite a bit these days. But the 'ei machen' is still useful for the 2.5 year old with pets and small babies.

DD is nearly 9mo and I have been saying gently and getting her to stroke instead of pull for a while now and she seems to be getting it. She now very sweetly strokes and plays with my hair whilst bf. Other times when she is excited she still yanks but its a partial success at least.

DS is 8mo, does the same thing, I say 'no', take his hand away then say 'gently' and stroke or whatever with his hand instead. No idea if any of it is sinking in!

And trim the nails nice and short while they are sleeping, so noone gets lacerated while you are doing the "gently gently" teaching to pat or stroke thing.

ok thanks for the ips im going to try that today