Unconventional potty training? At a loss..

[iamsoreadyforbednow]

My 2.5 year old hasn’t showed signs of being ready to potty train yet. I get that it’s still early and there’s no rush.. except she is absolutely inconsolable and hysterical when it comes to nappy changes. She hates having her nappy changed and always has done.

at the last nappy change she was so upset I decided to sit her up and have a proper talk about it as usually we’re just saying to her “you need to tell us when you need a wee or a poo and then you can go to the toilet or on a potty” or similar, rather than talking to her and making sure she’s understanding what we’re saying I guess.

So we sat and had a cuddle and I asked her if she wants to say goodbye to nappies and wear big girl pants like Sophie (name change) her big cousins (4yo and obviously potty trained) she said yes so I said to her she needs to tell me when she needs a wee or a poo, if she can feel a poo or like she needs a wee “in her belly or bum” then she can tell me and we can go to the toilet and flush it away (she loves flushing the toilet and saying goodbye to my wee’s when I go)

She then sat and repeated that, she would go do her wees and poos on the toilet so I’m 99% sure she understands what I’m saying.. but it’s the physical aspect of needing her to let me know, as she just shows no signs. With pooing she doesn’t really have a pattern so it’s not even like I can take her after eating as the times she actually goes are so varying!

ive tried her in the less absorbent training nappies but she still won’t tell me if she’s wet or has a poo-y nappy. But if she spills juice in herself she tells me “I’m all wet!” And takes off her top/leggings. So now I’m thinking.. do I just buy her some pants, dig out her old leggings and just let her wet herself until she learns when to go? Will that work? Albeit more work for me, more washing ect.

I know she would not like wetting herself and would want to change out of her wet clothes.. but would she learn when she needs a wee to tell me or try and go herself on the potty?

Is it a bad idea? I don’t want to see her hysterical every time she needs a clean nappy, but she’s not shown any signs of being ready to train other than agreeing she wants to go like a big girl when spoken to about it, so I don’t know what to do.

im sorry for the really long post, if you made it this far thank you. Any advice is welcome. I’ve googled and googled and I just can’t seem to see anything that would work for us.

for context, I don’t know why she’s always hated nappy changes, she had a few bouts of nappy rash as a baby but she’s not had it for a long long time so I don’t think it would be the physiological trauma of a sore bum, and we don’t make a huge fuss about ‘dirty’ nappies. I tried to use terms like “have you done a good poo?” We never say ‘stinky’ ‘smelly’ ‘yuck’ ect at the contents of her nappy playfully as I read this can trigger them into seeing it negatively - but it’s not worked 😭

Get 'Oh Crap' potty training book. It's really good.

You basically stay in and have them naked from the waist down for the first few days, then once they've cracked it with a bare bum you introduce leggings, then once they are reliable you pop some pants on too.

I think it's hard for them to remember in a nappy as they are so used to just doing their business they won't remember to say anything, but without the security of the nappy it prompts them to tell you or run to the potty.

Second 'Oh Crap'. The method works. Did both my DC at 2.

Go for it. It doesn’t sound like an unconventional approach at all to me. I’d try for a couple of days of no pants or leggings around the house if she’d go for it but we’ve just successfully potty trained our almost 3 year DS who was in a similar position. Would never have told you he needed to go before we ditched the nappies but he absolutely hated getting his nappy changed. Sounds like she gets it and is ready to have a bash.

We're currently potty training. He wears pants and joggers and we sit him on the potty every couple of hours. We were advised against training pants as it can confuse them and they learn quicker feeling the wet against them. Keep it light and fun and dont make a big deal about accidents. On day one we got through 8 pairs of joggers and were on the potty every 30 mins but the next day he learnt to hold his wee a lot better. He stills has accidents a week into it but as soon as we sit him on the potty he wees instantly now whereas the first several days he had to still on the potty for 20-30mins before he would wee. There some good kids books like pirate Pete, diapers arent for ever plus youtube has lots of good potty songs for them. Good luck, you'll both get there x

Have you come across the “oh crap” approach to potty training when you’ve been googling? I wonder if this might work - the idea is broadly that you spend a couple of days with DC at home, without anything on their bottom half, to learn what their signs are of being about to wee/poo, to get them onto a potty as soon as they start, to get them to learn the associated between needing to go and getting on the potty. After a couple of days, you can then move onto putting them in trousers/skirt but no pants (as it’s thought that these are too tight and so mimic the feeling of nappies). There is a bit more too it, but that’s the gist of it - thought it might help if she doesn’t yet know when she needs to go.

Ha - crossed posts with others, my typing is clearly too slow!

Put her in pants for a few days and see what happens, it might just click.
I started potty training DD 2.5 about 3 weeks ago, she was quite lazy with it and would never have just done it on her own. the first couple of days she had a few accidents but she didn't like the feeling of being wet so each time she had an accident I would just say "don't worry, next time mummy needs you to try and do it in your potty so we don't wet our leggings". By day 4 she was having tiny dribbles then managing to finish in the potty. We're at the stage now where she's been dry for a full week and can go out and about confidently.
Good luck, she'll get there!

Thanks all! Do you think the oh crap method would work if we started with leggings? Only because we’re currently ‘borrowing’ a home from someone while ours is being built and the carpet is basically white (not ideal!) so I’d like to keep floor accidents to an absolute minimum. Nah have to buy my weight in stain remover anyway but if I can get away with minimal floor mess that would be better!

I second this, 3 weeks and he was dry and using the toilet. Of course there was the odd accident but I was amazed, he was 2 years and 4 months. There's lots of washing and you carry lots of spares but definitely worth it. Good luck!

Unless you've floors without carpet the bare bum method is best kept for outdoors! I put DD2 in pants and leggings once she was ready and it took 3 weeks to get her reliably dry the spring before she was 3 in the summer. I reckon you've a good chance to cracking this in weeks. Poos can take a bit longer and definitely spending some time on the loo about 20 mins after breakfast can work wonders for getting into a routine!