Dd 9 year old

[upinthe]

My dd is nearly 9, we have a baby on the way, although i don't know if putting it down to that is too easy?

Her behaviour lately has been insane. It will get to dinner time, i will have the food in the oven, and she will flip her lid, saying she is starving and basically loses the plot. We eat dinner so early to accommodate her, not a problem, more just explaining that we do not leave dinner too late, so she is being totally over the top!

Her eating is also terrible, hardly eats a full meal would survive on snacks if i let her.

Theres way more than that, thats an example, just general behavioural problems, although nothing extreme (no send needs) well that i know of!

Is this a particularly difficult age? Ive heard about the between years, she is showing no signs of puberty, apart from the teen like strops that is.

Did the behaviour start when she found out she’d be a big sister to a baby? That can be a very stressful time for a child. You might want to have chats with her about what it will be like for her and to reassure her that you will make time for one on one play with her after the baby is born.

In regards to eating, some children are natural grazers and do better on six mini meals a day rather than three meals a day. Others are natural the other way and will want a massive lunch but only snacks in morning and evening. It’s good that you are trying to accommodate her, but perhaps think about ways to space out the food as it sounds she might be of the grazing variety.

It started before the baby news which is why i wonder its something else and not that. Also she is very excited about the baby, always talking about what they will do etc.

The grazing theory seems pretty spot on thank you, i will absolutely try that and see if it helps.

Hmmm. Before the baby news.
How is her school life? Any chance there have been bullying or exclusion affecting her? Aggressive, hostile behaviour can come from school life.

@Discovereads

Hmmm. Before the baby news. How is her school life? Any chance there have been bullying or exclusion affecting her? Aggressive, hostile behaviour can come from school life.

We did have a few incidents with one little girl, however, I made the school put a stop to it quickly, they have since made up.

I have been trying to encourage different friendship groups as she has a tendency of latching on to one or two girls, extra curricular activities etc.

It's so hard, I wish I could get to the bottom of it

My DS is also 9 and similar.

If I let him, he would genuinely survive on Marmite rice cakes, cucumber, yellow pepper (not red!), boiled rice, pro-sghetti (love that, never going to correct him!), and sauasages.

Although he's now gone off sausages....

luckily he's now declared he will eat 'buttered chicken' again (basically chicken pan fried in butter) and spaghetti bolognese. But he would not eat spag bog a few weeks ago.

And he used to like chicken thigh but now he prefers breast....

And then you get the weird "wins" like Yorkshire pudding, pan fried cuttlefish ( that was meant to be my restaurant treat) and Spanish tortilla...

I'm not sure it's behavioural, and I think if people have a child who just hoovers up everything they can never really get it...

I'm hoping it is just a (very very long ) phase...

I try to think of him as a "Super Taster" rather than a "Fussy Bugger" as otherwise it pushes my buttons too much.

“Super taster” I like that alot! I have a very fussy eater too.

As long as it doesn't affect her appetite for the main meal I would try giving her a couple of marmite rice cakes (or equivalent) before you eat when she says she's hungry, just to take the stress levels down all round.

@Discovereads

It is hard. My 11yo is similar in that I can’t keep her as happy and well, innocent, as she was. She knows about heavy things like death, war, climate change. She’s realised the world is not a nice or fair place. And she’s a very deep thinker so I think sometimes she is experiencing adult type emotions and doesn’t know quite how to handle them without lashing out now and then. Not sure if that would apply at all to your DD. Just you have my sympathy and also don’t be too hard on yourself as we are all just muddling our way through this parenting journey.