Uptight, stressed shouty mum 😫

[Exhaustedmother]

Help!! Looking for advice or just some words of encouragement. I'm sick of feeling such an uptight, stressed, shouty mum. Am I alone? Mother to 4 children aged 12, 9,8,2. Feel like all I do is shout, referee, i feel anxious (maybe even slightly depressed at times), uptight and stressed and exhausted. I feel so overwhelmed at times, my children definitely don't get the individual attention they need and I struggle to see the good. Im sure all I do is moan and nag them and is affecting them as much as it is me.

Well, 4 kids is 2 more than I've got, I don't blame you for feeling like a ref and shouting sometimes. Is your dh / partner / whoever about and do they pull their weight?

I tell my two that I'm on a break, have a coffee and read my book. I find having a visual prop like a book useful for getting them to leave me the heck alone for half an hour.

My friend with 4 kids takes them out for one on one time every couple of weeks, on a rota. I always think that sounds a good idea.

4 dc is more than most so I think you should start by being a bit kinder to yourself. But your basic message is that its not going how you would have liked.

What are you overwhelmed by? Have you a dp to share the burden? What other support do you have in RL? Do you work? How many hours?

What sort of parent do you want to be? What did you imagine when pg with the first all those years ago?

If you can make time to read I really recoomend the following (depending on what you feel overwhelmed by):

• how to talk so kids will listen, and how to listen so kids will talk
• playful parenting
• the organised mum
• how to do everything and be happy
• the life changing magic of tidying

Hi ladies thanks for replying. Yes I do have a partner of 7 years (so only the biological father of 2yr old but been a father to my 9&8 yr old since their father walked out their lives) he is brilliant with them all he really is, he does sometimes clash with my eldest dd but they are both stubborn lol. He works shift work so 2 weeks out of 3 I'm basically on my own. I work 3-4 days a week (school hours) .
I don't really know what I'm even asking/looking to achieve from this post, maybe that I'm not alone in feeling like this or that I can turn it around. I feel like I'm just a miserable mum. Should I go to Dr? Just feel like I need to learn to chill out, have abit of fun with my family.(Also my 9yr old dd has been advised to be assessed for ADHD by her teacher- so her behaviour can be quite difficult at times too)

@Reluctantadult

Well, 4 kids is 2 more than I've got, I don't blame you for feeling like a ref and shouting sometimes. Is your dh / partner / whoever about and do they pull their weight?

I tell my two that I'm on a break, have a coffee and read my book. I find having a visual prop like a book useful for getting them to leave me the heck alone for half an hour.

My friend with 4 kids takes them out for one on one time every couple of weeks, on a rota. I always think that sounds a good idea.

Thank you.

You’re definitely not alone. I feel exactly the same. So exhausted, always snapping, my patience is non-existent. I get so worried that from being so shouty I’ve made my DS quieter and not his bubbly self anymore 😥
I go to bed every night feeling sad that I got stressed at situations I didn’t even need to get stressed at!

I worry about this too some days I'm fine other days I struggle with my 2. I just wish I didn't have to work so many hours im sure if I was about more that would be better x