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Original poster

DP keeps saying this …

10 replies

Purplemonkey98 · 21/04/2022 16:08

DD has just turned 3 months old. Quite an easy baby in my opinion but I had my expectations set!

Now and then there’s been occasions when DP is alone with her , afterwards he panics as he struggles to settle her and says he doesn’t want anymore kids

Now I don’t want any soon but I’m only 22 so I’d love at least one more, I don’t want to be done now :(

A few days later he changes his mind and says he only said that in the heat of the moment

but it’s happened like 3 times now and it really upsets me everytime because I love being a mummy so to say no more ever is a bit upsetting

Will he stop doing this? As he does say later on he doesn’t mean it but in the moment it gets to me

OP posts:
Original poster
Purplemonkey98 · 21/04/2022 16:24

Has anyone else’s partner said this and changed their mind x

OP posts:
RandomQuest · 21/04/2022 16:33

3 month olds are tough going, there’s a good reason why most people have age gaps of 2-3 years! Honestly, I wouldn’t make a big deal of it. Just tell him it’s far too soon to be talking about another, or not, and that the discussion is off the table right now. Then talk about it sensibly when baby is older, easier and you’ve had a regular run of decent sleep!

InTheNightWeWillWish · 21/04/2022 16:35

He might not want anymore but I don’t think comments that are being said at the moment can be taken as a concrete answer one way or the other. There’s a lot going on in the first few months and it can feel overwhelming both in terms of the love and in terms of the responsibility. My DD is 5 months and we were pretty sure we were one and done before I got pregnant but we also agreed that immediately after birth is no time to make a decision. We will have the discussion about wanting more when DD is about 2, when we’ve got out of the baby days and see how we are coping with a toddler. Anything we say now is just general thinking out loud and not something that we will hold ourselves to.

In the future, if your partner decides he doesn’t want another I wouldn’t count on him changing his mind. However, you are young enough that time is on your side and you can make the decision as to which you want more - him or another baby.

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RebeccaCloud9 · 21/04/2022 16:36

I always wanted 3 but then my 2nd was such hard work that I didn't want anymore. I've since changed my mind and am Pg with number 3. But there was a time I just could not see it happening.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 21/04/2022 16:36

Tell him to stop being so dramatic, you have a
newborn, no need to rush having another or even trying to imagine it

chisanunian · 21/04/2022 16:38

He'll have far less trouble settling her if he does it more often. They will both get used to each other then.

JanglyBeads · 21/04/2022 16:41

Do you know why he's feeling like this? Did he have any prior experience of children/babies?

Original poster
Purplemonkey98 · 21/04/2022 16:50

@JanglyBeads no previous experience with kids or babies. DD is the first baby (for a good while) on both sides

OP posts:
ParentalGuidances · 21/04/2022 16:56

Wouldn’t read too much into this as moods fluctuate a lot during the newborn stage and during each parental stage in general tbh x

Bornsloppy · 21/04/2022 17:29

I said I didn't want another child at least once a month for 2 years. I've now got two children. We're allowed to change our minds.

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