four year old bedtime what time?

[elhlUI457897J]

My four year old doesnt go to bed until 8.45/9 - thats pretty much always been the case. They wake up 11 or 11.30 hrs later so thats fine. But we just dont get an evening together. By the time, they are asleep by 9 (I usually have to sit there as they fall asleep), we're both really tired. I keep hearing about parents watching films together or reading or doing hobbies but really our evenings are just so short.

What time do normal four year olds go to bed? Any tips on how to teach them to fall asleep by themselves? Ours is an only and always got really unsettled unless one of us sits with them. Whenever we've stayed with friends and the kids shared a room, ours was fine falling asleep by themselves.

I would tackle the bedtime and going to sleep by herself separately.

For the first just start getting her up at 7 every morning and put her to bed at 7 every evening. Make sure she gets outside in daylight, especially current the morning and do lots of exercise and gets lots of fresh air. It will take a good few weeks for it to be become routine.

For going to sleep by herself this is what worked for us. Have a solid routine, after lights out and a cuddle, go downstairs to do a boring job and say you will be back in 10 mins and come back after 10 mins and stay until she is asleep. When she is happy with this, make it 15 mins, 20 mins later etc. Always say you will be back and go back. Don’t say you are increasing the time always say 10 minutes.

My 4yo (preschooler) goes between 7.30-7.45. He goes to sleep by himself so sometimes it can be later but he has to stay in bed once we've said good night. He has a Tonie box so he listens to stories if he's not sleepy.

My 4yo’s were always in bed by 7, when we’ve needed to change a bedtime I’ve changed it by 15 mins every few days.
I’m not sure how you transition to then falling asleep independently at that age as I did it when they were still in a cot but I agree that’s a separate battle.

6.30 at that age , they slept until 6am.

Thanks everyone. I think the consensus is that kids usually go to bed a lot earlier. It's like ours is on a different time zone. Nothing shifts it though. I wouldnt really mind because it's not like 6am sounds that much better but it would be nicer to have more of an evening with DH. How do people shift bedtimes? Also how do people do 6.30pm with childcare? We currently pick her up at 5.30/6pm from nursery so in theory a later bedtime does give us more time as a family, just less time as a couple

Mine 7-7.30
best way to change it, wake them up earlier, say 7am/ 8am (maybe gradually getting earlier)- but have a chill day at home- and put them to bed earlier that day.
yeh early mornings aren’t great but once in school 9am wake ups won’t work- equally having a child free evening is way more beneficial than a child free morning

Mine went to bed at 7:30 although she prob stayed up a little later playing or whatever in her bed. Which was fine. She had to be up at 5:00 AM.

We don’t even get home from work till 6pm. Dinner is 7pm. Bedtime is 8.30, usually asleep by 9. Then up at 7.30am. I don’t know how other working parents are juggling things to get everyone fed and in bed by 7?

Child eats earlier either at home or at their childcare setting.
dinner is 5pm
bath at 6
books and chill out until bed

My eldest is nearly 4. We start getting her ready for bed about 7pm because sometimes she faffs about and takes forever and then it was turning in to a battle, so we give loadsss of time now to avoid that. She's usually in bed with us having left the room between 7.45 and 8pm. She wakes anywhere between 6.30 and 8am usually. She's gone to sleep on her own from being about 12 months though so she's well used to it. There have been odd times when shes got upset and asked us to stay but we never have, we just comfort her and leave and we will go back in a couple of times if necessary on a few rare occasions. She goes to sleep quickly herself. She sleeps with a few soft toys of her choosing, one being a sleepytot bunny that she's slept with since she was a baby as it used to have her dummies attached to it. She also has a GroEgg in her room that sort of serves as a mini night light. She also keeps a water bottle on her bedside table so she can help herself to a drink any time she wants in the night.

We don’t eat with our kids in the week. Just doesn’t work out that way. DD1 goes to school & eats a main meal at lunch time. We pick her up from after school club just after 5pm & she has a light tea like soup, cheese on toast, fish finger sandwich etc around 5.30pm. DD2 goes to nursery & has lunch & tea at nursery. Pick her up after big sis & she has a snack of cheese, crackers, fruit usually. She’s never particularly hungry. Hopefully once DD2 is school age, we can sometimes eat together midweek..

Bedtime for our 2 & 5 year old is 7.30 here. In bed at 7.15, lights off 7.30. They both wake up around 6.30am which is a killer at the weekend but during the week, is ideal. They need to be getting ready & having breakfast between 7-8am, out the door at 8.15 for the nursery & then school run!

To be honest, there is limited family time mid-week. Couple hours in the morning, 3ish hours in the evening. That’s just the way it is as working parent unfortunately.. I adore time with my children but I’d go insane without my evenings. I need a rest & time with my husband!

Our 4.5 year old is in bed(most nights) by 6pm and asleep by 6.15/6.30.
He is awake by 6am.

Time after school is limited, it's tea at 16.00, we always try to have PJs on by 5.30, he reads his school book with his supper then bed.

Try slowly retreating out of his room and see if that works any.

Dd is 5. She goes to bed at 630 and has done for 2yrs since we stopped her nap at 3 as at pre school

and Wakes usually 715/30 tho sometimes I have to wake her at 745 like today for school

if you want an evening @elhlUI457897J then wake up at 7 - rather then wake 8/830 am +

and move bedtime 15m each day so by a week should be in bed by 7pm

Ours were in bath at 6, bed and story at 6.30, asleep by 7. They woke between 6/7 next morning.

My dd is turning 2 so a bit younger obviously but she has the same bedtime as yours - we do dinner together at 6.30-7 ish, bath then statt settling for bed around 7.30-8.30. She gets up around 7-8 (needs lots of resettling in the night still though)

I'd rather have a lie in than pack her off to bed too early. Also I value the benefits of eating dinner together

My 4.5 year old has lights out 8pm absolute earliest. More like 8.30pm usually and nearer 9pm on a weekend. He's up around 7.30am on a nursery day and often later at the weekend. It suits us fine. I always read with horror the threads about parents of young children who get up at ungodly hours. Apart from some brief phases mine have always slept until a decent time. I think you just decide when you want your time - at the start or end of the day.