13 month settling in at nursery

[Tulips14]

DS is 13 months and started nursery a few weeks ago. He initially did a week of short days and they said he was “better” towards the end of the week after screaming the first time we went, even when I stayed
He caught an awful cold/cough and conjunctivitis from his settling sessions and was really poorly for over a week and hasn’t been 100% since which I don't think has helped. He won’t eat anything there but he’s sleeping there fine atm.The most he’s eaten is abit of yogurt so he’s starving when he returns home. He gets upset on drop off and pick up even if I send DH, is it normal for them to cry on pick up too? As soon as we leave and get in the car he’s completely fine . I feel like the worst mum as he’s not great with strangers as it is and I think he is going through separation anxiety too as on the days he’s not in he just wants to be next to me. How long did it take your little one to settled? I really want him to enjoy it.

Anyone?

Hi @Tulips14, slightly different but my DS started with a childminder back in Jan, he was 10 months old at the time. He would cry on drop offs every time he went for about 5 weeks. It's only just getting better now (13 months old now) so it does get better and I was told is also very normal! It's just them getting used to change I think, and once they see that you come back and collect them at the end of every day they feel a lot better 😊 most people I know have had similar experiences so pretty normal I think! Xx

@ellie1878 thank you this makes me feel better. At the moment I feel like I’m the only parent dropping and collecting off an upset, I know in reality that’s not true 😂
hopefully we will get there sooner rather then later

DD1 started at a similar age, and I'd say she sort of settled in stages – she slept okay pretty much from the beginning, and quite quickly I could tell from handover that she was being herself during the day (things like 'oh, she loves X, doesn't she?' or 'she spent a long time playing with Y', matching what she was like at home). Eating took a few weeks, but it pretty much went from zero to fully normally eating overnight once she finally started. (Brief) tears at drop off I'm afraid took months, but we did get there (albeit with a few later setbacks when covid changed drop off routines/after nursery closures). Our nursery tried to have it always be the same person that took her in the morning during difficult patches – is that something yours does, or might be willing to try?

@skkyelark it’s been a mixture of me and my husband dropping him off and some together. When I go back to work it will mostly be my husband who will drop off and pick up. The nursery don’t seem to have any concerns at all but I just hate the thought of him being sad at times and hungry!

Sorry, I actually meant it was the same member of the nursery staff that we handed DD over to, to give that bit more consistency for her. It wasn't always possible, of course, but somehow it was L at the door for DD far more often than I would have thought feasible.

For food, how much milk is he having at nursery? If he's having a fair bit of milk, I could see why nursery aren't too concerned, but if he's not having much of anything after a few weeks, I'd think that should be a concern. We certainly got meticulous updates on DD's (not) eating at the beginning, and there were various discussions about did we want them to try this or that, was she better with finger food or spoon feeding at home, etc.

Oh haha! Yeah they try to hand him to his main key worker but sometimes that’s not possible.
Well for the first few settling in days he wasn’t eating a thing not even drinking milk. He’s managed “bits” of finger food the last couple of times he’s been mainly rice cakes, strawberries and toast. Depends re the milk sometimes it can be just 2oz sometimes it can be 7 🙄 he doesn’t have milk in the day at home but I guess they want to get something in him.
I have actually said to them (which I will repeat this week) to give more finger type foods as he doesn’t like being spoon fed (only yogurt weirdly 😂) and not to sit watching him he doesn’t like that.

@Tulips14 How long did it take your DS to settle at nursery in the end? X

honestly, a month or two I think 🤔 but I did end up increasing his days from 2-3 and I think this massively helped him adjust to nursery and the routine etc. I do think with time it gets easier as they start to make friends etc. Some kids are just more sensitive than others and that’s ok, up until the point of him starting nursery he’d only ever been left with me, his daddy or my mum so it’s a big shock.
He now runs in without even saying bye 🤣