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Pregnant with second but unplanned. Not sure what to do. Has anyone had this experience?

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yknw · 19/04/2022 09:05

My daughter just over 2 yrs old and my husband and I just found out we are expecting a second. We didn't plan this and I'm feeling totally overwhelmed.

Our first was a lockdown baby, and born shortly after I lost my dad unexpectedly. The first year was emotional and physical survival mode and the second I was completely burnt out.

I am now I'm finally beginning to feel stable and really enjoy my DD. After such an eventful and emotionally exhausting two years, my DH and I don't feel ready to do it all again. I don't think I can cope with the physical strain of another pregnancy and labour, and struggles of BFing. And that would be alongside taking care of my DD.

My DH and I never planned on having a second but also didn't rule it out. I am just happy with how things are now and want to enjoy this time with my little girl without worrying about anything else. I feel that if we go through with the pregnancy, I won't cope. My DH says he will support me in whatever I feel and can see the positives and negatives of keeping and of terminating the pregnancy.

I know if we terminate we could still try for a baby in a year or so if we felt differently, but I also wonder what that would be like knowing I'd terminated a previous pregnancy. I also feel guilty in advance for thinking about "killing" my daughter's sibling, knowing that we could provide a good life for him/her.

If I could take the guilt and shame out of it, Im sure that I would be happier keeping things as they are, but I'm just overwhelmed with emotion.

I feel like most ppl who choose termination are those who have no children or l already have two or more children. Has anyone else been on this position?

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